Supernatural Think Tank - Anna's Thoughts on Supernatural 12x11 "Regarding Dean"

Sam: and I have a soul because of you. I never thanked you for that did I?

Dean: it's all good man

Sam: thanks

Dean: you'd do the same for me

Sam: I mean it. Look we keep our heads down, keep swinging. We'll lose some, hopefully we'll win more. I don't know...anyway...for what it's worth, I got your back

Dean:  Yeah, I know (smile ensues)

These were the words I recalled as I was watching this episode,  a prime example and testament to this promise Sam made to his brother not so long ago.  "I got your back".  It's really a truth not only that these brothers live by, but one they give to us.  I really think that this should be Jared and Jensen's next campaign.   I certainly would wear this on a t-shirt.

I know this was a Dean centric episode and Jensen gave us some great stuff.  Dean made me laugh, like a lot, and he pulled at my heart string, like a lot, but IMO this episode belonged to Sam and Jared.  While Jensen pulled at my heart strings, Jared managed an entire concerto.  I will never tire from seeing the absolute devotion Sam has for his brother....and it tickles me to no end how much he knows Dean. (POST ITS IN TRUNK).

I loved the then.  I really am so happy that these new writers have done their homework and actually get our boys.  I also love the continuity with past canon. It's a sign of respect to the fans, that these writers know us that well to put in that effort.  So thanks for that.

You know you got a good ep coming your way when Dean Winchester wakes up next to a bunny.  So very nice to see that this one survived. 

I love it when show has all the best of everyone included.  We got Smart Sexy Sam, Scared Sam, Devoted Sam, Funny Dean, Dean the Man-Child, Frightened Dean, Lost Dean and most importantly Found Dean, with a dash contentment mixed right in.  We even got Funny Rowena, Wiley Rowena and What's the Real Deal With Her Rowena.  A fantastic mix of emotion blended together that made for a delicious outing with our boys.

There is so much goodness going on in this ep, that I found it difficult to gather all my thoughts into anything coherent.  So instead I'm just going to throw out all my randomness in such a way that at the very least it seems like it makes sense.

Let's just start out with all the things I loved.

Here goes:.......All of it.  That about covers it I loved all of it. 

The Funny:  There was so much of it, and I tried to write it all down on my second watch, but I don't think I managed to get all of it.  It was all funny, until it got .  What I'm going to do now is give you what I felt were the best quotes, the ones that really made me do this.

Sam: You rode Larry? 

Just loved when he sniffed Dean at the bar to see if he was still drunk. 

Dean: First action in I don't know how long, like it never happened...figures.

Sam:  Now that's comedy.  

Sam: What's the last thing you remember?

Dean: Getting some ice.

Dean:  Now the trees are talking?

Dean:  I wouldn't be freakin Dory.

Sam:  What?

Dean: I'm not going to apologise for loving that fish, not to you, not to anyone. ( c'mon who doesn't love Dory anyway!)

Rowena:  Have I got my own ringtone?

Rowena:  Is he smooth like a Ken doll?

I'm sorry but I had to laugh at Rowena cheating at poker.  She does have a nice wardrobe.  Gotta make that money somehow I guess. 

There are more, I'm sure that I missed.  There were just so many I couldn't keep up with them all.  I would love to hear from you guys any that I might've skipped over.

Oh and lest we not forget.....Post It's.   Sam putting the post it on the light stick..oh i'm sorry....lamp.  So love when Sam gets to do physical comedy.   And Dean's glee at discovering he had one of these in his pocket. ...Simple things can bring such joy.

Those Post It's were more than just meant to be funny.  I thought the post it's symbolised how  much Sam knows and trusts in his brother.  Sam went off on his own to get the spell to fix Dean from those witches.  Yet still, he stuck post it's on the witch killing bullets and the gun he was supposed to use...and not use...sorry grenade launcher, you'll have your day....as though Sam knew that Dean would show up if he needed him.   I love the love folks. 

Sam: I've seen my brother die, but watching him become not him might actually be worse.  (Anna's heart smashed to pieces)

Sam said Dean losing who he was is worse than watching him die. If anyone has experience in losing oneself, it's Sam Winchester and there was no way in hell, he would ever let that happen to his brother.  Show did a very good job with both humour and deep emotion touching on a very serious condition.  Alzheimer's Disease is devastating to everyone.  I don't even want to imagine what it would be like to just start slipping away and forgetting everyone and everything you've ever loved.  How awful to not even remember who you are.  Then to have those who love you, just slowly watch you disappear, right in front of their eyes, helpless.  I wouldn't wish that on anyone.  It was really difficult watching it happen to the characters I love, I wouldn't even dare to imagine it happening to anyone real. 

That moment of hope and delicious goodness mixed in with utter heartache....Dean trying to remember who everyone is, who he is and uttering the words, I  can't remember to which only moments later, upon hearing Sam's screams, he recalls his brother which sets him off running.   

Things they touched on that we thought they forgot.

I love that Sam had brought up being jailed and Luci's spawn before he realized that Dean was hexed.  It just provided verbal confirmation that being in that jail, in solitary like that, was more than the boys bargained for and it did affect them.  He also reminded us of how heroic these boys really are....they don't have it easy, they never do...yet they still keep on fighting and they never ask for any thanks for doing so.

The things that make us go.....hmmmmm

This is like the third episode or so, maybe more that they touched on the soul.  Here it was kind of two fold. 

As we have seen with regards to Souless Sam, our soul is in part our moral compass.  It's more than that I think.  I think our soul makes us who we are.  We saw Sam both with a soul and without one, and it was without his soul that we saw Sam who he wasn't.  I think the comparison was what was happening to Dean.  He was losing himself, he was losing who he was.

Another interesting aspect of the soul in this eppy was that the witch wanted to swap out Sam's and put it in the dead brother.  All this talk of souls, I think it's all leading up to something...just have no clue as to what it is. I do wonder if it'll have anything to do with Mom though. 

Let's just bring up Rowena, cuz she kind of played an interesting role in all this.   Sam's desperation led him to calling on Rowena, and not the first time either.  Coincidentally enough, in both instances it was about saving Dean and they both involved a very powerful book of magic. Sam's distrust in Rowena is quite justified.  He had no reservations about calling her out on the fact that the reason she helped had more to do with the book than anything else.  His "like you care", is testament to how much he doesn't trust Rowena.  Who can blame him, she's burned him on a couple of occasions.  She is not unlike her son.  She's mostly in it for Rowena.

Then there's that question that itches at my brain which has me asking myself....does Rowena also help because she likes the Winchesters?  or maybe it's more like, she knows she needs the Winchesters.  I mean she as well as Crowley have experienced first hand their knack for saving the world. I feel like Rowena/Crowley and Sam/Dean have a parasitic relationship.  Rowena/Crowley need the boys as host to survive, but at times these parasites eat away at the bad cells that might linger in the body. 

I do think that all her talk of power and God/Amara not being happy was delusional talk.  Rowena had not so long ago declared to Crowley that she would never be powerless again.  Her strive for power originates because of her falling victim to those who were stronger than she was.  She has been ousted out of her home on more than one occasion based on her confession by those stronger than she.  I do like the tie in to the BMOL in all of this.  It will like play out later to be important, when the boys will likely need allies against them.  Rowena survived all these years on power, power that she strived for for centuries.  I have no doubt she wanted that Black Grimoire (anyone else reminded of Charmed there) and all the power it would give her.  The very fact that she took it out of the house, leads me to believe that she likely didn't believe her own speech. Not for nothing, but she was alone with a forgetful Dean in that house while Sam went off to get the spell for Dean. Who's to say she didn't grab a black book of spells, that she so easily handed to Sam, and didn't keep the real one for herself.   Just saying....love Rowena...but don't trust her worth a damn.

Enjoyed the French Mistake moment.  (only this time it was Dean reassuring Sam)

Sam: I was actually a little jealous at first.

Dean: Of what, the curse that nearly killed me?

Sam: No, just, you know, the things we've done, we've had this weight for....forever, seeing it gone...you looked so happy

Dean: It wasn't just the crap that got lost, it was US, it was everything, it was what WE do, it was all of it. So if that's what being happy looks like, I think I'll pass. 

I really loved this reverse "French Mistake Moment". In the FM, Dean had pointed out to Sam he would be happy if they were stuck where they were. He was married to Ruby,  a gagillionaire... he noted how the hits kept coming since he was 6 mos. old. But Sam said no...that they weren't even brothers there. This time Sam needed that reassurance. He noted how happy and free Dean had been not remembering the bad.....and Dean came back with forgetting the crap meant forgetting the good...forgetting Sam, forgetting THEM and he didn't want it.... now I know there are a lot of people aching for that bro hug to happen, but for me, this was one of the sweetest things that Dean has ever said to his brother and for me this was better than a hug.

Sam's confession that he was jealous, indicates that despite his ability to do his job, those things still weigh heavy on him.  Solitude did in fact affect him more than we might have thought.  Luci's Spawn, Cas' consequences, it all weighs heavy on his mind, still it also exhibits his strength to carry on despite it all.

Loved the ending....getting to see what Dean did before he lost his memory and discovering that "getting food" is code for letting loose.  I listened to the song too they played at the end...kind of got the feeling it was a message for all of us...about being happy with what we have, keep the child that is still inside us alive, because soon enough real life comes bashing through and it's the happy moments, the childish moments that help get us through it. 

Thank you for the fan service as well.  Getting to see Jensen riding the bull was fun.  It's always nice when the cast/crew give a little something extra to us viewers.

Amazing performances by Jared and Jensen.  Ruth did a great job as well.  All around perfect hour.

Oh and I know there were some out there who didn't appreciate the little trick Dean played on Sam at the end.  Trust me, after all that they've both just been through, this was Dean's attempt to lighten the mood and make his brother smile...and when Sam smiles, Dean smiles...and when both Winchesters smile...I do this

Thanks for reading.  Hope to hear from you.

Til next week.

-Anna

Read sweetondean's review here

Review - Supernatural 12x11 "Regarding Dean" - by sweetondean

Well I’m writing this post Vegascon euphoria, where I not only got to watch the episode live with my sister from another mister - on the tele and all - I also got to see Jensen a couple of days later, and got to speak to him about the episode and listen to some of his thoughts and behind the scenes tidbits - like how there were two bunnies, and the bunny wrangler named them Sam and Dean. It was Dean that was in the scene!

“Regarding Dean” was one of those episodes that makes your heart sing while simultaneously breaking it. It was funny and sad, all at the same time, with amazing brother moments, amazing Sam moments, and completely amazing Dean moments. 

Both Jared and Jensen turned in stunning performances, with Jensen delivering aspects of Dean that we’ve never seen - a Dean who was carefree, but not in the same way he was when he was under the influence of the Mark of Cain. This Dean was still a good person, he still wanted to do the right thing, he still wanted to hunt and help, he still wanted to be Dean, he still wanted to be a brother, it’s just that all his memories of all the horrors and darkness that he’s experienced were slipping away, and this left him - when he was oblivious to what was happening - lighter. Laughing, smiling, lighter. Kudos belongs 100% to Jensen here, who was able to strip away so much of who Dean is, but still maintain the essence of the character.

Of course losing oneself is not something to laugh at, and we saw the flip side of what that process means, as Dean stared at himself in the mirror repeating his mantra - the names of those he loves the most - over and over. Jensen likened what was happening to Dean to what alzheimers must feel like. He wasn’t expecting to get so emotional during the performance, but the thought of feeling yourself slipping away and no longer knowing, not only who the people around you are, but also yourself, struck a deep chord with Jensen - as he tackled that scene at the end of a long night, looking straight down the barrel of the camera. He wasn’t expecting the tears that came. 

The brothers have both dealt with times when they’ve lost who they were - but being soulless, or being a demon kind of elevates the care factor! Being full cognisant and fully aware and actually giving a damn, gives you a totally different characterisation. 

The fear for both the brothers was palatable - Sam was watching everything his brother is, the brother he loves, disappear right before his eyes. In the moments that they could actually talk about it, it was heart breaking, as Sam repeated everything to Dean, telling Dean they’d figure it out, with Dean listening, understanding but also knowing in a moment it would all be gone again. For Sam it was worse than seeing Dean die, because it was seeing Dean lose everything that made him Dean - the Dean Sam has known and loved his entire life. Jared played those moments so beautifully, with his eyes just slightly watery. Just devastating.

The most wonderful moments came from the moments between Sam and Dean. Whether funny - like the in the diner and in the bar, Sam so well versed in his brother’s extracurricular night time activities he came prepared with pain killers! The wonderful post it notes that Jared wrote himself…LAMP, ANOTHER LAMP, COFFEE MACHINE - HOT DON’T TOUCH. Jared really enjoyed writing them, and Jensen got a kick out of reading them! Then explaining the job to Dean and the patience/frustration/patience Sam showed with his gleefully out of touch brother. 

And then there was Dean, who a moment ago could not remember his own name, but as soon as he heard his brother yelling out in trouble, he calls out SAMMMM! Or who has such an ingrained trust of who Sam is and what Sam is to him, that regardless of not knowing who Sam is in the moment, when Sam points to himself and says “brother”, Dean trusts him so completely that he kills the other guy. These are special moments, special Winchester brother moments - the kind we live for! Dean knowing Sam no matter what, gives me life!

We were also blessed with the wonderful Rowena - who came to “help” because she wanted the book of spells. But left alone with Dean you can see that Rowena is not all bad, because even though she could have let Dean think he was just a killer, she made sure he knew what he did was always for the greater good. She’s a complex one that Rowena…and you know that everything she confessed to Dean, Dean remembers…but to his credit, is not saying anything. I do love Rowena and who that character has become.

In the end, we have the boys, talking over the Impala - as if this episode couldn’t get any more perfect - with Sam admitting he was a bit jealous at first, that Dean could get to drop the baggage…but Dean responds…

“Was it nice to drop our baggage? Yeah, maybe. Hell, probably. But it wasn’t just the crap that got lost. I mean, it was everything. It was us, what we do, all of it. So if that’s what being happy looks like, I think I’ll pass.”

For Sam and Dean - if happy means not being brothers…that’s not happiness, for either of them… And that right there, is air.

Then we wrapped up the episode with an unscripted montage of carefree, memory-loss Dean intercut with Dean riding Larry the bull. The final shot was pure porn quite frankly. Seriously Ackles…just stop (never stop).

Meredith Glynn please stay…and please keep writing episodes like this.

Sorry this is so short guys, but I’m on the road and just wanted to get some thoughts out for you. Basically my thoughts are, I love this episode so much. Jensen proved once again that he is a magnificent talent - so underrated (except by us).  He broke me, and made me gleeful. The pleasure and the pain that is the glory of Supernatural.

-sweetondean

Leylin Vixen's Quick Draw Recap - Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets

Opening words

Another episode aired and we are again closer to the finale of the season. No matter what number episode it is I always think that with sorrow. Sooner than you think the season is over or we have a hellatus on us. Each week Supernatural is the one and only show I wait anxiously so it being away will have a void on those specific days. I had some time restraints before I could write this but hopefully Amy can put it up when she can from Vegas glamour.

Have fun Amy. Wish I was there too!

Details

Title: Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets

Episode: 12.10

First aired: February 2, 2017

Director: Thomas J. Wright

Writer: Steve Yockey

Monster: Ishim

Location(s): Lebanon, Kansas, Orono, Maine (1901)

Story

Angel Benjamin is playing Rampage (Awesome!) in an old-school arcade. Here is where we see Lily the first time. She fights Benjamin who calls for help from her squad. She is killed by Lily. Mary is out on her own when the show returns to the bunker. Kelly Kline is a no show on the news and so is the Nephilim. Dean and Cas is having an argument and Sam is the referee. Cas arrives and he is heading out on his own. The brothers will have none of that and they leave together.

The car ride was unpleasant as Cas and Dean continued the silent treatment between one another. Sam has the unfortunate luck to be the third wheel on the fight and play peacemaker. 

Cas opens up and finally explains that Benjamin wouldn't call for help if it wasn't urgent. They end up in the arcade and Benjamin's crime scene. One of the angel blades are found and it is not Benjamin's. Lily also finds Castiel with a spell. She is a woman scorned with revenge.

Cas heads out to meet Ishim and Mirabel that are not his greatest fans. Dean storms in and the two angels are not really fond of humans either. Ishim dispatches Mirabel to make sure they weren’t followed and you really could have dressed her in a red shirt on that moment. Ishim heads out but Mirabel has already been killed by Lily. They fight and Cas is just in time to save him. Lily doesn’t want to hurt people just the angels.

At Ishim’s safe house Cas asks why Lily is still alive and we get a flashback about Cas’s past. Ishim’s squadron went on a mission to kill an angel that had fell in love to a human and made a child. Akobel is sentenced and killed and it seemed that the child and mother were also. Female Cas looks very well like the female version of him. Ishim says that he let Lily live. I was surprised that we finally got angels that were, well dicks again. Also the death wings were welcomed addition. Also I am actually proud how far Cas has grown as angel. I just wished that would stretch to other angels.  

Ishim suspects Lily made a demonic deal and the brothers head out to tell her that Cas has changed. Ishim continues to annoy Cas, sorry or was it me that was annoyed about him? And Cas heals him. He seems weaker after that. Winchesters arrive at Lily’s hotel who has healed herself and ask her to lay off of Cas. She tells us her story and that her daughter was not Nephilim at all. She was human and Ishim killed her because he was obsessed about Lily. Sam stays to talk to Lily while Dean heads back to warn Cas. Lily warns Sam that Ishim will kill Dean. 

That is actually what Ishim will do after he can’t convince Cas that the daughter wasn’t human. He wants to kill Cas’s human weakness that is one of the Winchesters. Dean is ready though with an angel-banishing sigil but can’t use it because of course Cas would be blasted away too. Sam and Lily arrive just in time and fight ensues. Ishim eventually gets the upper hand but he is killed by Cas before he can kill Lily. 

Winchesters are on Cas side but Castiel shows his growth and apologises the death of her daughter and if she can’t forgive him he will be waiting. They head to the bunker and both Sam and Dean try to make Cas feel better. Dean also finally explains that he is not mad but worried about the cosmic consequences that might kill Cas or them. They also talk about the Nephilim and what to do.

Cas says: “Let’s drink, and hope we can find a better way.” I heartily agree.

Characters

The cast was pretty huge again for this episode and everyone did their best to make it a great hour of entertainment. I really liked that we got some old school dick angels with Ishim and Mirabel. Benjamin and Akobel on the other hand are different and more closer to Castiel’s characteristics. I actually liked Benjamin and that “she” had a thing to arcade games. Castiel seemed to like her also.

The star of this episode with Castiel was Lily Sunder. I loved her Kill Bill look (Elle Driver) and she was almost a bad-ass angel on how she fought, looked and even acted. I think she would not like me saying that though. Also her past self was very different and should I say an innocent mother. She was curious and wise searching knowledge that did bite her in the behind though. Her daughter may had no lines but still she had a presence in the sorrowful story.  

Here is the full list of characters:

Lily Sunder

Ishim

Mirabel

Benjamin

Akobel

May

Set design

All I can say is WOW! That opening with the arcade hall Megabyte Bar immediately sold this episode for me. I guess I am sentimental. And don’t try to guess my age because of that! Lass won’t tell. Rampage, Slot machines, Pool table, Pac-man which was probably a tribute as its creator died a short while ago or a coincidence, Space Invaders brought memories to my mind. The feel of that whole place was genuine and I would have liked to see more closely on everything there.

Total opposite of course was the diner, hotel and the trip to the old safe house church and to the past residence of Lily's. They were each unique on their own. I liked how cozy the diner looked and one of my favourite scenes of this episode happened when all of TFW crammed themselves to the same side of the cubicle. It was hilarious. The whole diner street and back alley were atmospheric. Supernatural knows how to do these the best. 

I don't know where the old abandoned church was. Looked like a meadow but the interior was pretty great with the glass windows (love them) and the old broken decor. It was very fitting to a fallen baddie angel. And if I am not in seventh heaven already we get Lily's home from 1901. Like with the arcade I am a sucker for antiques. I loved the house and even the creepy doll.

Costume design

I really liked Lily's costumes the old and the new. The old reminding me of Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman and the new of Kill Bill's Elle Driver "Black Mamba". I think the director must be a fan of that character. Of course the periodical costumes of the angels and Lily and her daughter were great too. It was great to see female Cas that actually looks and dresses almost similarly so you could tell it was Castiel.

Music

There was no music in this one that was titled. The horror! So, picking up something that fits the theme: Seven Devils by Florence & The Machine.

"Holy water cannot help you now

Thousand armies couldn't keep me out

I don't want your money

I don't want your crown

See I've come to burn your kingdom down

Holy water cannot help you now

See I've come to burn your kingdom down

And no rivers and no lakes can put the fire out

I'm gonna raise the stakes, I'm gonna smoke you out

Seven devils all around me!

Seven devils in my house!

See they were there when I woke up this morning

I'll be dead before the day is done”

Here is the short +/- rundown for Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: 

+ Glimpse to Castiel's past

+ Dick angels

+ Death angel wings 

+ Team Free Will

+ Family

+ New canon

+ Compelling story

+ Benjamin

+ Fem!Cas is pretty same looking than the male

+ TFW sticking themselves on the same side of a small cubicle

- No music!

- No Mary!

- Ishim

- Killing a child? Grrrrrr!

-/+ Foreboding 

Trickster stamp, Lily Sunder 

That is all. See you next time!

References: http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/ , http://www.metrolyrics.com & http://www.homeofthenutty.com/ 

-Leylin

Check out sweetondean's review of Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets

sweetondean's Light on Spoilers, Heavy on Deaaannnnnnnnnn Preview of Supernatural 12x11 "Regarding Dean"

Okay...here we are with episode 11!

Now...I'm at Vegascon and have basically been travelling for around 33 hours, so this might be a little brief....but here goes nothing!

I AM MASSIVELY EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE BECAUSE I GET TO SEE JENSEN ON SUNDAY AND HOPEFULLY THERE WILL BE STUFFS TO TALK ABOUT!


THEN

The boys and Cas had a beer and hoped they'd find a better way to sort out the looming Nephilim problem.

NOW

FEEEEELS!! THERE WILL BE FEEEEELS!!

Let's get straight to the synopsis!

“Regarding Dean”

DEAN LOSES HIS MEMORY – Sam (Jared Padalecki) enlists Rowena’s (guest star Ruth Connell) help to track down an old world, powerful family of witches after Dean (Jensen Ackles) gets hit by a spell that is rapidly erasing his memory. John Badham directed the episode written by Meredith Glynn (#1211). 

I always get excited when John Badham directs an episode because JOHN BADHAM! And this is Meredith's second episode of Supernatural - in her first episode...Dean killed Hitler! Just in case you forgot!

Anywhoooooo....back to the epi at hand!

Oh my gosh. Jensen has talked a little about this episode and said that at first, Dean is not entirely sad about forgetting some of his past....in fact it's a relief...until he starts to forget who Sam is and then, himself. OMGGGGGG IT'S GOING TO HURT SO MUCH!!

Boop

Okay - here's the promo

Awwwww Dean - he's adorable and sad all in one! (Perfect Dean!)

It will be nice to see Rowena again - I do like that character, and Ruthie will be at Vegascon, so hopefully she'll also be able to talk about the ep too.

Here's the sneak peek.

Okay...so I'm guessing that Dean and the girl got it on...I wonder if we'll see that.??!

I love seeing Jensen do comedy with Dean, but I also love seeing him do the deep drama with Dean too. No one does gut wrenching, heartbreak like Jensen Ackles! And this feels like we're going to get gut wrenching heartbreak and humour....so very Supernatural! Right in Jensen's wheel house! I'm also looking forward to seeing Sam deal with Dean's Deanness slowly disappearing. Oh my gosh! How sad is that going to be? Okay, let's just face it, I'm looking forward to the angst and my subsequent pain!

Now there are a couple of other things I wanted to mention.....

There's going to be bunnies! Dean and bunnies! DEAN AND FUZZY BUNNIES!

And then, there's this...

Dear God.... I'll admit to staring at this photo for an inappropriately lonnnnnng time...

Here's a interview with Ruth about Rowena and Dean in this episode...

What are her interactions like with Dean as he's losing his memory?

There's so much comedy in this episode. The crew, people talking about it.  [Director] John Badham emailed me about it, saying it was a really strong episode for everyone. I love what Jensen gets to do. There's also the sadness of struggling to remember your brother's name. There's a lot to this episode. I'm excited to watch it and the fan's reaction.

LINK to full article.

And here is the producer's preview!  I love getting these again!

Enjoy the episode guys!

- sweetondean

(for Vegascon stuff follow me at @AmyinSydney)

Read sweetondean's thoughts on last week's episode

Review - Supernatural 12x10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets - by sweetondean

I’m not necessarily a big fan of the angels/heaven story line - well, not in recent times. I feel like we’ve been going around and around on that one. And I’ll be honest, I can be a bit resentful if the story forgets that there are central characters on the show and solely focuses on characters we don’t know anything about. Thankfully this wasn’t the case with “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets”. Steve Yockey did a great job of anchoring this story on the one angel I do give a shit about, Cas, while also never forgetting that the Winchesters were also there, allowing them to have an essential role in the story while being very much themselves, he even managed to give us new characters that were interesting and that, in the case of Lily, I would gladly see again. Plus we finally got a decent backstory on Cas, seeing the garrison that we’ve heard him talk about, revolving around that one time they all came to earth, looking resplendent in their early 1900’s duds! Win win all around!

Revenge, consequences, morally grey areas, mixed with a dash of you can’t out run your past, were all themes peppered throughout this episode, pointing towards the possible fallout from last week’s abruptly broken deal with the Reaper Billie, and the upcoming hunt of Lucifer’s Nephilim offspring.

Of course these are the common threads that have been weaving their way through Supernatural right from the beginning. The Winchesters’ lives were built on revenge - that’s what started this whole cockeyed existence for them. And consequences is something they both know a buttload about. Nothing they have done to save the world and/or each other, has ever come without a cost, and they are painfully aware that the cost usually ends up being something they have to sort out!

The Winchesters have been told many times that they should not play with the natural order - they’ve been told this by Death himself - and they find themselves in the thick of this dilemma once again, having died to escape the inescapable prison, with a little help from Billie, then not fulfilling their end of the bargain with one of them dying in return for the help - for reasons of Cas killed Billie.

There are now unknown cosmic consequences, hanging over the brothers' heads like the Sword of Damocles, and that has both Sam and Dean worried.

For Dean, initially, these concerns manifest in him being narky with Cas and his spontaneous decision to angel blade the reaper. Not that Dean is angry that Cas saved the brothers, he says to Sam and later to Cas that of course he’s grateful for that, but it’s those pesky cosmic consequences that’s got his clingy black boxers in a bunch, the brothers have been down this road before and it never leads them to a happy destination.

Both Sam and Dean have made choices that have ended up causing world shattering, and possibly world ending, circumstances. Part of their pact at the beginning of season 11 was that they would be smarter about these things. As Sam said, they have to stop repeating the mistakes they kept making over and over - for each other - that bear terrible consequences. Regardless of whether we think the brothers would have gone through with the deal or not, in the Lily Sunder episode there was no discussion between the boys indicating they would betray that deal, on the contrary it sounded like their intent was to honour it. Whether they would or would not have, we can only continue to speculate, but as it stands - the boys are now heeding the warning that something big and cosmic is about to bite them on their perky butts.

On top of all of this, there is now concern over what will happen to Cas. The outcome of breaking the deal with Billie is unknown, the consequences could be global, like the Darkness or the Apocalypse was, or directed solely at the individual who broke the deal.

Dean has nearly lost Castiel on more than one occasion due to Cas' rash decisions and the fallout of those decisions. In each case Cas was acting in a way that he believed would help to save both the world and his friends (something he most likely learned from the Winchesters). Cas was nearly lost to the brothers when he let the Leviathan in and again later, when he let Lucifer in. The consequences of these decisions put Dean at war with his best friend - having to fight him, while also trying to save him, not knowing if in the long run he would have to kill Castiel for the greater good, and not knowing if he'd ever have his friend, who has become family for both him and Sam, back.

Both Dean and Sam have been down this road way too many times not to sweat it, and in a period where they are harmonious in their relationship, their mum is back, they defeated the devil, and they’ve pledged to each other to be smarter, a period where no world ending big bad is waiting around the corner, the thought of another cataclysmic event must be such a bitch.

Dean’s pissed offeness at the whole shebang is understandable, he is only human after all - a dirty big hero, sure, but human - and he loves his people, his family, fiercely and I don’t think he’d ever apologise for that. Castiel is family - that has been communicated to him in no uncertain terms, I’m pretty sure Dean would also have been pissed with Sam if he was the one who broke the deal without any planning for what the outcome may be. Dean has experienced considerable growth over the last few seasons. He listens. He has taken a lot of criticism on board and has changed a lot of behaviours. He has become far more honest and transparent, and has allowed others their space to make their own decisions, and has discussed options with his brother without arbitrarily making decisions on their behalf. This has been instrumental in the transformation of his relationship with Sam. But there’s at least one area that Dean will never change, and that’s in how much he cares - and make no mistake, everything with Cas in this episode is because he cares so damn much.

His experience with the cost of deals is plentiful and losing someone he loves, because his life is saved is always going to be unacceptable to him - regardless of whether he’d die for those he loves. Cas said at the end of the episode, he'd be cool with dying to save the Winchesters, but Dean, and Sam for that matter, would not be cool with that. Sure, if the shoe was on the other foot, they’d both probably die for Cas, but risking your life for your family and them doing the same for you are two different things.

To his credit, Cas is having non of Dean’s shit, firmly cementing himself as one of the family by not apologising for putting family first, and giving a helluva lot of sass while doing it! He has, after all, learnt from the best! Season 12 Cas is one salty bastard! And the conflict between the friends was brief. As soon as Dean’s immediate worry overtook his other concerns he was right by Cas’ side, squeezing in next to Cas, along with Sam, like two giants on a tiny booth chair, after storming into the diner in one of the funniest scenes I’ve seen for a while - as Sam counted him down, proving yet again, no one knows Dean Winchester like Sam Winchester!

The angels in Cas’ garrison were dicks. They were the angels of old. The Uriels and the Balthazars who call humans hairless apes and care nothing for humanity as a whole. Soulless warriors for God, who have lost sight of what God thought of his great Creation. Cas was once a little bit like this - but even the Cas we first met in season 4, wondered at humanity instead of disrespecting it. He was always fascinated by humanity, and was often torn by his duty to heaven and the duty of care to the two boys fast becoming his friends. He appreciated their beauty and their flaws.

Where as most angels have stayed with their own kind, Cas has been hanging around the Winchesters for going on eight years now. Hell, it looks like he pretty much lives with them these days! The Winchesters are the most human of humans and Cas has dramatically changed by being exposed to their very special breed of humanity. He was quick to back the Winchesters when he could see that they were on the right side of the whole Apocalypse argument, and became an ally which caused him no end of heavenly trouble. The Cas of now would have argued long and hard with the Cas of then when the garrison went to sort out the problem with Lily Sunder and her child.

Lily Sunder was terribly wronged. Her child, killed by Isham as his angel compatriots stood by, was human and not Nephilim, and when Cas found this out, as we found out Isham’s bitter reasoning being to cause maximum pain because Lily pushed him away, Cas was devastated, opening the door wide for the conflict to come as Cas and the brothers hunt down Lucifer’s Nephilim, who of course, is a child, who has a human mother. Cas allows Lily to go, but says he will be there if she finds he can’t let him go - demonstrating how very different he is from the angels that she once knew and learned to hate.

I liked Lily a lot. Alicia Witt did a great job of being kickass while being so obviously destroyed by what happened to her life and what her world then became.The boys know something about revenge and what that can do to you and how it can overtake your very existence, and this made both brothers open to reaching out to her. She was human after all.

What was really lovely was the conversation Lily then had with Sam, as she talked about her soul, with Sam reflecting upon his experience with soullessness. I’ve loved how we’ve looked back this season. There have been two protagonist that Sam could directly relate to, first Magda with her powers and now Lily and her ever dimension soul. I did laugh out loud when Lily said she could hear the boys standing two feel away from her talking about her! It reminded me of Kripke’s commentary on “In the Beginning” when Priest Dean and Young Mary were talking about the boy who made a deal with the YED, while standing only a few feet from him! Damn hilarious.

Cas has had 2 substantial and problematic kills over the last two weeks. Both the Billie and Isham’s deaths would be looked upon very harshly in the eyes of those who are already out gunning for our favourite angel who only ever tries to do his best. I wonder if news of both deaths have reached heaven’s ears and if there will be any fallout from that? It was interesting that Isham’s safe houses was a decrepit church. A symbol of his crumbling angelicness and the fall of both himself and of heaven.

And in the end we got Sam rushing to Dean and the brothers pep talking Cas in a show of solidarity and olive branch offering, as he hopes they can find a better way to deal with what they know they have to deal with in the form of Lucifer’s child.

I totally enjoyed Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets. All in all, this was another nice outing from Steve Yockey who is currently batting 2 from 2! A strong script with excellent, memorable new characters. and a compelling story all about Cas that did not forget Sam and Dean.

And now I head to Vegascon! If you don’t follow me on twitter, check me out at @AmyinSydney, I promise I will post photos!

-sweetondean