I’m going to say straight up, I thoroughly enjoyed this week’s episode. I’m also going to say straight up, I’m considering not writing this week…in fact, I find myself considering throwing in the towel altogether. There were some comments that I saw around the traps that were so negative, that, well…something broke inside me. I know it sounds dramatic, but it did.
Why bother anymore? Why spend hours of my time, sharing my views and passion with a fandom that I now consider fractured beyond repair. I do. It’s smashed. It’s done. It’s over. What I loved about it, pretty much no longer exists.
I see so much anger and bitterness and hate. Emotions I don’t even understand. Commentary that is beyond my comprehension in its loss of perspective and outrage. It’s got to the stage where the fandom, and yes, I am generalising here, is ruining for me, this show I love with all my being. I now watch each episode with half my mind going, oh these fans are going to hate that, or those fans are going to hate this. I know, before the episode is over, exactly what’s going to be flying around the internet.
It didn’t used to be like that.
I don’t blame the show, I can’t, because for me it’s the same wonderful show it’s always been; probably more so. I blame the culture of allowing disappointment in a specific storyline, or character or representation of canon not meeting personal expectations, to explode into nonsensical vitriol. I see angry, angry words… I don’t get it. I simply do not get it.
This is a TV show. That’s all. Something to be enjoyed. Something to entertain. If it’s no longer meeting those standards for you, then you need to consider whether it’s still worthy of your attention.
I don't need everyone to like every episode, we all have different opinions, we all see different things, but it's got to the stage where no episode is safe from bombastic lambasting and that's simply soul destroying. When you literally dread the aftermath of every single episode, you need to assess whether all the time and emotional energy is worth it.
I do this out of love and right now, I'm not loving it. I’m tired. Really, really tired. I’m a strong person…but this fandom is shattering my spirit. But more importantly, it’s destroying something I hold precious… and I’m not sure I want to be a part of that any more.
I do this out of love and right now, I'm not loving it. I’m tired. Really, really tired. I’m a strong person…but this fandom is shattering my spirit. But more importantly, it’s destroying something I hold precious… and I’m not sure I want to be a part of that any more.
I hope this passes. I expect it will. I expect I will be writing up my review this week as usual, because otherwise, the loud and negative minority wins. But right now....my heart is broken and I can't see a way forward in my sadness.
I lurk a lot. I lurk on other sites too and rarely comment because yeah, things get crazy! But I just have to say, I love your blog! I want to send positive fan thoughts your way! And hugs. It sounds like you need hugs!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about loving the show and feeling a certain level of apprehension about the fandom reaction to each episode. This isn't my first fandom and the best thing I have learned over the years is to keep a level of detachment. I try to keep the show/book/whatever in my heart and the fandom in my head.
I'm someone who likes to hold back and give the writers a chance to tell me the story before I jump to conclusions. Now being fair, I am a fangirl, so I am guilty of obsessing over certain scenes to wring out every last drop of angst - because that's what I love to do. But I don't take everything at face value. I try to look at what the story-telling is showing me, deeper than the surface level. I like to try and appreciate what the actors are showing me about their characters, even when they aren't talking. I like to read body language and subtext. That's always been one of the best things about Supernatural to me. I agree the writing can be hit and miss, but overall the world they have built is freaking awesome. I think Jensen and Jared have become better and better as the seasons go on. I generally love the supporting cast and guest stars. I prefer the season arc and mythology episodes to the stand-alones, but most of my fav single episodes are stand alone ones.
Generally I am just so grateful for this show. You won't hear any hate from me because I value what it gives me too much. It gives me so much enjoyment, fun, love, friends, courage, insight, self-awareness, empathy... just so many things.
I love Supernatural. That is all.
Thanks so much for your positive words :)
ReplyDeleteWhen heart is broken by someone very hard to live and life become sad,Really appreciated with your post.
ReplyDeleteBroken Heart Needs Repair
I think you've said alot of what I've felt coming from the fandom lately. And I don't understand it either. No show is ever perfect, but the story as a whole is what we're after. The relationship of these 2 very flawed and imperfect brothers. I've loved TV shows in the past, but I've never felt a true emotional connectoin to a show ever...until SPN. I've not lost that and I'm glad to see that there are still others out there who feel the same way. It's clear the actors still have a dedication to these characters and a fan, that means something. I'll stay dedicated as long as the show goes on...and for many years after.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Yes me too, I'm going to driving down crazy street to the, hopefully not too bitter, end with these beautiful, beautiful brothers. This show is more than a TV show to me and to many more. I'm so thankful to have it and I'm always happy to find fans who feel the same way.
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