PTSD: Personal Torments of Sam and Dean

- by spnmom

Here's another guest article, this time from spnmom! She's got thinky thoughts about how the boys' lives may have screwed them up, and whether they are suffering from any specific disorders (or 5)!

Let her know your thoughts in the comments.

-sweetondean

PTSD: or in this case Personal Torments of Sam and Dean

Disclaimer: I am not a mental health expert, English major or writer. I am just a Supernatural fan who has a tendency to over analyse things!

That being said, I recently saw a headline in my local newspaper, “Split­ second call takes its toll for years”. The article discussed police officers shooting or killing a suspect and the lasting effects on them.

Of course PTSD was also brought up in that discussion. It got me thinking of the Winchesters. The show does that to me sometimes. Totally unrelated events will initiate random thoughts in my head related to Supernatural! (Please tell me I’m not the only one this happens to!) Then there was also Dean’s recent comment to Sam while he was reading Charlie’s psych evaluation and how their evaluation might have read to an outsider at that age. Wouldn’t we love to read it though?

Since there have been numerous comments by fans over the years about Sam and Dean suffering from PTSD I got to thinking. Which can be dangerous. What if it’s more than just PTSD. It reminded me of a training I went to last year on Dissociative Disorders. No, I didn’t just out of the blue decide to attend that conference. I was working with Domestic Violence victims at the time and their traumas have lasting effects, which obviously lead me to think of Sam and Dean’s traumas and how they have coped. Or not coped!

What began as a short online search of Dissociative Disorders and how they could possibly relate to the Winchesters ended up being a bit of a personal journey as well. Which you will be relieved to know I won’t elaborate on.

I found information regarding a link between PTSD and Dissociative Disorders. Which henceforth, I will refer to as DD. (Not to be confused with Demon Dean. Which I will address later.) One definition of DD read ‘causes a change in consciousness, memory, identity or how one views their surroundings, occurring slowly or abruptly and may not happen all the time.” That definition felt totally descriptive of Sam and Dean’s coping mechanisms at different times over the past 10 years. (Maybe even explain some of the canon issues people have sometimes. The boys simply forgot! Oh, I’m so not opening that can of worms!) I mean if one kill can traumatise a police officer with training for years, what must Sam and Dean be going through after years and years of killing, since they were teenagers? And not just monsters, but a few humans as well. Not to mention all the other traumatic experiences they have had!

From that conference I knew that DD ran the spectrum from mild out of body experiences to Multiple Personality Disorders. In my amateur research I found different types of DD. I felt like Sam and Dean have probably experienced most of them at one time or another and maybe still do.

In Dissociative Amnesia a person might simply be unable to remember. Both boys have shown examples of this, albeit admittedly sometimes with some outside influence, such as, demons, angels, head trauma or Death himself. Both of them initially had a lack of or difficulty with Hell memories. Or Sam not remembering everything Soulless Sam did. Maybe it wasn’t just a ‘wall’ protecting his psyche, but a normal human coping mechanism. Of course as brothers they could use this to their advantage as well, so good thing they’ve probably never heard of it. What sibling hasn’t taken a liberty or two of some kind and denied it profusely?

In Dissociative Fugue one can suddenly forget about their past and travel away from home, or what they know as home in the Winchesters’ case. Could this help explain Sam’s year off from hunting, not looking for Dean and his propensity to run off in earlier seasons? Or Dean’s year off with Lisa after Sam jumped in the pit? The description went on to say that a person may even take on a new identity and/or be confused about their identity. I think we all can agree that the boys have questioned who they are, their purpose, and where they belong, several times over the years. Insert Demon Dean here.

Another form, called Dissociative Depersonalised Disorder is a transient form experienced through out of body experiences, a sense of detachment from thoughts or body. A feeling of it all being unreal, or maybe a sense of emotional or physical numbness to the world around them, (can you say Dean Winchester?) and questioning if their memories are even real, (Sam when he was having demon vision dreams.) Then of course there were times where they actually were out of their body physically or figuratively, such as, Sam hallucinating, Dean in the veil, both in heaven or Bobby’s dream. The examples from the Winchester world are too numerous to count in this area.

The most extreme form of DD is Dissociative Identity Disorder, what used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder, with two or more separate identities. Now I know this could be considered a stretch, but might one consider Soulless Sam or Demon Dean here? Obviously outside forces played a part in those, but it could be argued that the after affects would be the same. And then the Body Memories would still occur.

I read it is hypothesised that Body Memory is involuntary and happens when the body itself is capable of storing memories at the cellular level, as opposed to the brain. Basically the memories can be repressed or viewed in a distorted way. Which made me think of Dean’s memory of trying to get Cas out of Purgatory, and his possible PTSD after he got out. I realise there were different thoughts on whether Dean had PTSD because he seemed to enjoy the purity of it all.

A Body Memory can also create phantom pain. Which then got me to thinking of the Mark of Cain now and in the future. Could some of the humming and inflamed redness of the mark be from a body memory? And if and when he does get rid of it what kind of body memory will he be left with? Does Cain suffer from them? Maybe that’s why he asked Dean to kill him.

Where does that lead?

If we think back to the episode with Charlie and how many times they referenced Good Charlie and Bad Charlie as two separate entities and how we all need to find balance it would be easy to say the same of the boys don’t you think? Maybe they both really do have a split personality and certain things trigger each to appear.

We all know Dean is deeply loving, caring, protective and of course a bit of a kid at heart, (okay, maybe more than a bit, but don’t we love that about him?) But at the same time he has a dark side. Can he meld the two and finally except all that he is? Is that what has to happen for him to live with the MOC? Forgiving himself is probably part of the healing that has to take place for him to become one. Maybe the MOC was meant to do that to/for him? Sometimes for healing to take place all the dark stuff needs to come to the surface so we deal with it and stop the denial. Dean is now definitely faced with all he did as a demon. Sometimes it’s easier to give in than to fight. Suppose that is why Dean chose demon after Crowley told him to choose? What did he have to lose? He felt he’d already lost Sam in S9. He let himself totally flip personalities again.

So what about Sam in S9? Why did he get so angry? Was it more than just being possessed? His body was violated and how could that not trigger a strong reaction. John made decisions for him before he left for Stanford that ultimately caused him to run from the family business and try to become someone else. Dean making the decision about angel possession could have triggered a similar response. Although he didn’t physically run, (who could catch him with those long legs anyway!) Sorry I digress. He did run emotionally, and as often happens with feeling betrayed by a loved one he struck out at Dean by attacking Dean the person, instead of the behaviours. (Don’t we all need to learn that lesson?) Hitting him where he knew it would hurt. Mentioning Dean’s fear of abandonment. Hmmm, another trigger? Dean took on the MoC right after that and ergo another Dean personality began to emerge.

And how about Sam’s memories while possessed. Of course he would want to repress them. Who wouldn’t? But when faced with them he talked about seeing ‘his hands’ kill Kevin. Asking himself if that was a real memory and was he responsible. I mean how do these guys differentiate reality anymore? My head is spinning right now just thinking of all the personality switches I’ve mentioned so far.

As S9 progressed Sam was trying to meld it all inside (keep thinking I’m talking about Spock here!­oops digressed again) but instantly switched to his other personality when Dean died and disappeared. Who hasn’t ever been furious with a sibling or loved one, but if someone else does something to them we go to bat for them. So, another trigger. These two are trigger happy in more ways than one it appears. (Not trying to start something there)

So it seems a miracle that after years of trauma the Winchester boys are still fighting and coping. Or are they? They seem to switch personalities more than Sybil. (An old movie you can Google!) They must have deep dark places they’ve locked away their traumatic experiences to survive. But each has their own triggers to switch when needed.

Maybe it’s one of the reasons some fans love the show. Many of us have experienced a deep trauma. Maybe it’s been repressed for years by accident or design. Maybe deep down we began to recognise our past trauma through watching Sam and Dean cope with theirs.

Maybe while we wanted to repress that memory we also recognised our need for healing and we unknowingly latched onto Sam and Dean and this show. Of course these are fictional characters, but they can also reflect our own reality. We’ve all heard fan stories relating how this show got them through a dark time. What a wonderful legacy for the show, cast and crew.

I never dreamt that headline nor my initial enquiry would lead me to all of this. Thank you for reading to the end and taking this journey with me.

-spnmom

The Light on Spoilers, Heavy on Squee Preview of Supernatural 10x14 "The Executioner's Song"

-by sweetondean

OH MY SWEET LORD OF THE RINGS I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS EPISODE! 

Ever since I heard Cain was coming back I've been champing at the bit for this one! I totally dug Cain in "First Born". I totally dug the introduction of a character that we'd heard about for so long. A character that we were told the Winchesters can trace their lineage back to. I totally dug the twist on the Cain and Able lore. I totally dug the interactions between Cain and Dean. And I totally dug Cain's beard! It was so epic it deserved its own screen credit!

Of course...now, in typical Supernatural fangirl fashion...I'm excited and terrified and excited and nervous and excited and distracted by the thought of bad assed Dean facing Cain and... yep 

Okay... enough oversharing! Let's get to the preview!

THEN

Dean, deciding that he couldn't go on hoping against hope for a cure for the Mark of Cain, chose instead the peace of the family business, saving people, hunting things, and fighting the good fight for as long as he could.

Sam, externally went along with Dean and internally screamed, "Hell no, I'm finding a way to cure you bro!"

NOW

Well of course. Just when Dean gets to a good place...it's Cain, it's the First Blade, it's the First Blade in Dean's hands and OMG I HATE YOU, SHOW!

(I could never hate you, Show).

Cain openly challenges Sam for "Best Hair Ever"

I always assumed we'd see Cain again, but for some bizaro, I should have known better, reason, I didn't think he'd be on the opposite side of the fence to Sam and Dean! Remember how he told Dean one day he'd call on him to kill him? I have a feeling Cain's not be thinking that any more! Here's the synopsis!

THE RETURN OF CAIN — Dean, Sam and Castiel deal with Cain’s (guest star Timothy Omundson) return. Crowley and Rowena (guest star Ruth Connell) continue to grow closer, but when Crowley bails on plans with his mother to help the Winchesters, Rowena lets him have it. Phil Sgriccia directed this episode written by Robert Berens (#1014). Original airdate 2/17/2015.

Okay, firstly director Phil Sgriccia and writer Bob Berens...good duo! Bob's last episode was "Girls, Girls, Girls" and Phil, well let's just say it's good to have him back directing more episodes this season, after working with Kripke on Revolution took him away a little bit.

Right...to the matter at hand! After a few of weeks of solo Winchesters, all the players are back in action in "The Executioner's Song". I'm really enjoying the way this season has been structured. I've enjoyed spending some quality time with Sam and Dean, and I find it makes me more excited to see what's been happening with our other peeps when we revisit their stories.

Cas, we know, has been actively seeking out Cain and has been keeping Sam in the loop. Possibly one of my favourite things ever is Sam and Cas becoming so close. I like that they're buddies these days, not just checking in on each other to discuss Dean, but also checking in on each other. I'm yaying to the rooftops that their friendship has blossomed. I always wanted them to be mates! It shouldn't go unnoticed, that the episode that truly bonded Sam and Cas, when Cas said he finally understood Sam, was in fact, "First Born".

I'm excited to see Crowley ready to help the brothers - though it's probably more about helping his old BFF Dean and backing the less of two evils. Having said that, he does know how dangerous Dean will become with the First Blade in his hand, but I guess it's a toss up for him - who is worse, Cain or Dean. At least Dean has people around him who love him and can pull him back from the edge...oh and he's no longer a demon! Unlike Cain who is THE  Knight of Hell. Yep, I'd hand Dean the Blade too, if I thought it would get rid of Cain! Not that I really want to get rid of Cain!

Rowenna lets Crowley have it? He needs to toss her ass out of his dungeony crib. I'm hoping that this is the beginning of Crowley not being blinded by the mother thing, and finally giving in to his misgivings around Rowenna. From the seeds sown in "About A Boy", I assume that after the pesky Mark of Cain is dealt with (if it is - I don't know that it will be - I kinda hope it won't be), that everyone will be joining forces to battle Rowenna and whatever her nefarious plans are surrounding her son and Hell. Wouldn't it be hilarious (and typically Supernatural) if Sam and Dean ended up saving Crowley's life! What a conundrum! But better the Devil you know.

Wait...I have totally gone somewhere else with this preview! Okay, back to it...let's look at the promos! We got two this week, the normal 20 seconder straight off the back of last week's episode and then the extended version! Here they are.

OH MANNNNNN! I am excited! Dean's in his demony maroon shirt again. Seriously, I'm going to have to look into that shirt more because I swear it seems to be tied to how he's feeling re: the Mark or actually being a demon! P.S. I love that shirt and I just love how much red Dean's been wearing this season...wonder if there's a reason for that too? BUT I DIGRESS...again. How epic are these promos!

Dean with the Blade. I reckon, possibly because I'm in love with him, that he's going to be able to be more controlled with the Blade this time. Dean is in a much better place emotionally. He's not all hurty and broken and hating on himself and feeling like he deserves to face the world on his own. He has his brother's love and support and he knows it. In fact, he's even spoken about how he has people in his life who love him, who pulled him back from the edge. This is a totally new emotional space for Dean. Plus I think Sam's confidence in and encouragement of Dean has actually rubbed off on him a bit. He's not the broken, burnt out, shell of a man he was during season 9 when the Mark of Cain and the Blade totally overpowered him. In that situation, he felt completely alone and full of rageful, revenge driven feels (against himself as much as anyone else). He was hell bent on putting, at least, something right. Dean, as scared as he is right now, is not the same guy, emotionally speaking, as he was last time he faced down the Mark of Cain with the First Blade. Having said that, I'm sure as hell terrified as to what's going to happen and how he's going to feel when that nasty thing gets into his hand! The Mark and the Blade go together (like Sam and Dean. Heh), and there's no denying that and what that means. But at least he has a support crew right behind him this time around, and he's confident of that and of them. *sigh* So many feelings!

I can't say I'm not a teensy bit worried for Cas too! All he manages to do when facing Cain is give him a bit of a blow dry! Cain's power seems like something we've never come across before. Well, maybe Lucifer I guess, I assuming he could put Cain down. But from where we stand I'm guessing the First Blade is the only thing that can and will stop him, and I don't think Dean's going to be able to get close enough to do anything about that!

On this note...what has Cain been up to that he now needs to be put down? Okay, they wanted to find him and ask him if there was any way out of this Mark thing. Sure, last time we saw him he was zapping a bunch of demons, but before that he was living the quiet life and tending bees (you'd think him and Cas would get on)! So what's changed? What's he done, or what's he doing that has caused this about face. Cue sneak peek.

Yeah, the episode has me so damn excited.

So the Father of Murder has been murdering up a storm, apparently! That was a buttload of bodies! Who is he killing and why? I'm sure there's some big reason behind it all - not just killing for the sake of it. Unless Cain has gone completely off the reservation and has reverted to what he was before he tossed away the Blade. Or maybe all this is just about getting The Blade back? Maybe he want's to be reunited with his old jawbone of an ass friend.

I loved that there was this little breeze and Cas just knew that Cain was there. And how magnificent does Timothy Omundson look? He looks fan-friggin-tastic! I can't wait to meet him at Vegascon! He's crashed a couple of karaokes I've been to, but this will be the first time I've seen his panel and whatnot and don't you just know I'll be getting a photo with him! I hope his epic hair and beard is in full force!

Oh baby, I missed you!

So what the hell is going to happen when Cain gets his mitts on the First Blade? He could just zap away I assume once he has it. I wonder if that's what he'll do? I feel, because this is Supernatural and I've been watching this show for 10 years, that there will be way more to this than these promo pics reveal. Remembering Cain was able to love at one point. He's not just black and white evil. And he sort of liked Dean. Though he might not like him much after this!

 I hope Sam gets to meet Cain! Though is there enough room in one shot for all that hair??

OH YES I AM EXCITED FOR THIS! This is going to be scary and hot, as only Supernatural can be!

In preparation for this episode and doing this preview, I watched "First Born" again. It's such a fab episode, and it was interesting to revisit Cain and remember what he said about his life, and how he became what he is. Also, boy Tim's hair has grown!

What do you think? Lay your theories on me! I know you guys have some good ones! I can't wait for this episode. I'm wishing my life away, one Supernatural ep at a time!

-sweetondean

What It Means to be a Supernatural Fangirl

- by Lindsey

Here's a piece by Guest Writer Lindsey looking at what being fangirl means to her! I think you'll agree, this article fits right in at sweetondean! 

Share some of your own feelings and fangirl moments with Lindsey in the comments!

You can check out Lindsey's bio on our Team sweetondean page. 

-sweetondean

I admittedly have an obsessive personality. If I set my mind to something, I follow it through to the end with a fervent undertaking; if I like something, I learn as much as I can about it in as many different ways as possible. It’s just one of those things that is second nature to me. 

So when something sparks my interest and grabs my attention, it can tend to do so with a voracious nature. This means that once I started watching Supernatural, there was no doubt it my mind that I would end up being enthralled by the show. There was definitely work to be done. 

Did I know what a fangirl was at that point? Maybe, I’m not really sure. Is that what I am now, most definitely! So over the last several years, even as I’ve expanded and increased my horizons, it has still left me pondering. What exactly does that mean, to be a fangirl? I tend to not fit into any molds that society, perceived or not, sets for me. In fact, I’ve made it one of my missions in life to do my best to remain original in some way. And I most certainly do not expect every other fan to be like me. After all, we are not living the Stepford life. So I did some thinking. Maybe you’ll agree, maybe you won’t. But this is what it means, to me, to be a fangirl.

It’s having an excitement for almost everything related to the show. Blogs, Twitter accounts, fanfiction, Tumblr accounts; you name it and I’ve been there and done that. The amount of content that exists for this fandom is extraordinary. At your fingertips, you have the power to see as much or as little as you want. And depending on your creativity and commitment, you have the power to create as much as you want. That is incredible!

It also means it’s having gratitude to the members of the fandom who created the content that I can spend hours looking at as I know it didn’t just appear magically. There are bloggers that post theories and observations that are thoughtful and can leave you dumbfounded as to why you didn’t see that yourself. I’ve read fanfiction that left me speechless at the end and wondering if that person knows how talented they are. There are the gifs and screencaps that provide hours of reminiscence and entertainment. 

Because of this, being a fangirl also means almost never growing bored. You are on the hunt (no pun intended) for something to look at or read all the time. Yes, there will probably always be something new out there to find and process. But at the same time, you can watch an old episode and still have your heartstrings pulled; you can see the same post or picture and still laugh like a maniac. It’s trying to laugh quietly in your office when you see something funny on Twitter or Tumblr even when you’ve seen it before, not that you’re on phone and goofing off for bit by any means. There will never be enough hours in my lifetime to search through everything this fandom has offered up, but I’m definitely going to do my best. And I’m going to enjoy every second of it.

It’s having an appreciation for the actors above and beyond their unnerving attractiveness, to put it mildly at least. The skills they possess are bar none. The talent they display in bringing such remarkable depth to their characters is captivating.

Watching Jensen and Jared for the last ten seasons, and seeing them pour everything they have into Dean and Sam, is some of what keeps me drawn into the show. They make Dean and Sam come alive; you share in their joy, you feel their pain. Their chemistry, both on and off screen, is something for the ages. This goes for all the other actors and actresses as well. And despite their hectic schedules of filming, promoting, and being with their families, they still take time to attend multiple conventions all across the country. What other current hit show can boast that about their lead actors? As I’ll be attending my first con this October, I’m so excited that I’ll get to experience that. And it’s due to their charming down-to-earth personalities, and let’s face it, their sheer awesomeness, that makes that all possible! Let us hope that that never changes. 

It’s also about recognising the value and talent of the people behind the scenes. It is sometimes easy to forget that without the writers, we wouldn’t have a show. Despite the many times that they’ve broken my heart…

They’ve made me laugh equally as much….

And I will always be wishing for more from them.

And maybe most simply yet importantly, it’s just being a fan and fandom itself. It’s being proud of what you love and expressing that however you see fit; it’s about doing what makes you happy. I will be the first person to admit that I get enjoyment out of using a fandom reference in everyday conversation when the opportunity arises; it’s impossible for me to pass up the perfect setup. Even if it falls on deaf ears, it will never cease to amuse me. 

Where I’m from in the Midwest, you wouldn’t exactly call it the epicentre of pop culture. I’m sure I’m not the only person to have this problem. Even so, that is one of the many things that I love about being a fangirl, especially for Supernatural. I know that within a few clicks there is an entire virtual community of people who love this show as much or more than I do. 

It’s sharing in the excitement of a new episode or the start of a new season. It’s laughing at the same show-related jokes. It’s being there for one another because at the end of the day, we’re all human and we just want to be loved. That collective interest can be a powerful force and should not be underestimated; to be a part of that is pretty special. 

To create a concrete depiction of what a fangirl is or what exactly that means is an impossible feat, and that is by no means what I hope to accomplish. Our feelings and impressions are as varied as our lifestyles and personalities. So being a fangirl means something a little different to each of us and we express it is different ways as well. 

Nevertheless, whether you do it quietly or you shout it at world, I think that on some level we all have a shared foundation based on these feelings. And somewhere inside of us, we all have a little of that Becky Rosen quality.

After all, it’s that passionate nature which separates us apart from everyone else. And I like that quality. In a world that is so often downbeat and depressing, the boundless enthusiasm exhibited by a group of people is refreshing and uplifting.

I know that if I’m having a bad day or need to take a break from the stress, all I have to do is visit my favourite Supernatural sites for a quick pick-me-up. So to my fellow fangirls I say, please don’t change. Continue to be a proud of the best show and the most wonderful actors. Continue to create and post anything and everything; never let anyone stifle your creativity. And above all else, continue to be you, because just like our show, you are awesome.

-Lindsey

Review - Supernatural 10x13 "Halt & Catch Fire" - Finding Peace

-by sweetondean

A ghost, a salt and burn, smart Sam, empathetic Dean, honest bro talks…weeeeeeeeeee!

Everything above is why I liked Halt & Catch Fire so much. It was old school with a helping of new school – being this new found, grown up, honest dialogue between the brothers that has been an absolute highlight of season 10 for me. They’re talking and I’m in love with it!

From the moment I first saw the promo pics for Halt & Catch Fire I was excited (yeah, yeah, I always am!). There was Sam and Dean with a jerry can and a flaming matchbook! I thought to myself, if they add salt to this picture I’m going squee! Why? Because I love me a salt and burn! We don’t get them that often anymore. The brothers’ lives have become way more complex, with way more complex enemies. A good ol’ ghost hunt is reminiscent of a far less complicated time for Sam and Dean, when the enemy was obvious, the bad guys were the bad guys and the Winchesters were the good guys full stop. Of course now, the Winchesters are sometimes bad, the bad guys are sometimes good, and everything is a morally, grey, murky mess! I love me that mess. That mess is as interesting as hell. But it is nice, every once in a while, to get an episode that throws you back to the beginning of the show and reminds you of some of the things you originally fell in love with. Halt & Catch Fire definitely did that for me, it was an old school monster of the week episode that also shone a mirror on the brother’s journey, and I enjoyed the hell out of it.

Ghosts are creepy. I find them way creepier than most things that Supernatural does, because ghost stories are what we’re raised on and a lot of us believe or half believe or don’t exactly not believe that ghosts might be maybe possibly real! Like, I don’t believe in vampires but I don’t not believe in ghosts…even if I don’t really believe, I don’t totally not believe. I watch some of those paranormal shows; sometimes they’re down right freaky! So ghosty episodes tend to give me the heebie jeebies more than other creep-out episodes. Unless it’s clowns. Or dolls. Or scary kids *shudders*.

In the world of Supernatural, if a spirit hangs around too long, if it can’t let go of its life or loved ones, it becomes all twisted and broken. It becomes an angry spirit, murderous and evil. It becomes what the brothers hunt down and destroy. 

We found out about what creates an angry spirit back in season two’s “In My Time Of Dying” when the Reaper Tessa explained to Dean what would happen to him, if he decided to stay in the spirit world and not go on with her. Of course, we also saw this thread with Bobby. These spirits get attached to something or someone on Earth and don’t move on to the next plain. Consequently, they go mad. I love it when the show harks back to what we know. I love it when we revisit old lore.

There may have been something else happening here with the spirit of Andrew, other than holding on too tight to his old life and his love for his wife. We’ve never found out if the gates of Heaven reopened, so we don’t know if all the spirits are still stuck in the veil. I’m assuming they are – because we haven’t heard any different. So what this episode also did was make me worry like crazy for Kevin! Still stuck in the veil with all the other spirits (and with his mum 24/7)! Is what happened to Andrew happening to Kevin? A-wahhhh! Now I’m sad! I don’t want Kevin to become an angry spirit and get all revengey! Please don’t make that happen, Show!

Andrew not only died and got stuck/decided to stay, but he also got zapped into the wifi routers! It’s a nice twist on a horror trope we’ve seen in movies like Shocker or the X-File’s episode, Kill Switch. It gives the concept of ‘a ghost in the machine’ a modern vantage point that makes it all the more creepy because the spirit is targeting his victims through things we use everyday! Our wifi speakers (I have the coolest little wifi boombox which I’m pretty sure isn’t out to kill me), our computers (thankfully I don’t have a mouse!), our SatNavs (I’ve never trusted that SatNav woman, I always feel like she’s judging me when I go the wrong way) and our phones, (personally, I never turn on my phone’s location thingy, because I feel like I’m going to be tracked or something, because basically that’s what happens and it kind of freaks me out! I mean I get freaked out when I go to Google Earth and see a satellite photo of my car in my driveway! It’s weird. I don’t like it.) Sorry I digressed with my paranoia! I promise I don’t wear a foil hat with coat-hangers on it or anything! Anyhooooo it means that we got some pretty fun/cool murders in this episode! Okay, you know you’re a Supernatural fan when you use the term, fun/cool murders! My favourite was the exploding speaker boy! Though the killer SatNav was great too…that truck going over the cliff looked amazeballs! There sure were some nice VFX in this episode!

I loved all the boys' interactions in Halt & Catch Fire. I loved that we started with Sam telling Dean that Cas is on to something regarding Cain’s whereabouts. The fact that Sam and Cas are staying in touch via phone fills me with squee. I absolutely love it. Once upon a time, Cas was very much Dean’s friend, but now he feels very much like a friend of the Winchester brothers, not one brother exclusively. His friendship with Sam has been a delight to watch come to fruition. There is an understanding between them that transcends their mutual love of the elder Winchester. 

Dean has been running on hope for a while now, hoping that they will find a cure for the Mark of Cain, but here, he finally says no more. He’s right in pointing out that if Cain could have cured the Mark he would have cured his own a long time ago, but I’m not so sure it’s that’s simple. The Mark for Cain and the Mark for Dean are two different things, acquired in two different ways. Who’s to say that a transferred Mark can’t be somehow removed? But I understand Dean’s unwillingness to pin his hopes on that, or anything else at this point and his willingness to get back to the job of saving people and hunting things. That’s where Dean has always found solace and clarity. That’s where Dean feels in control. Doing a job he knows he does well. I love how fiercely Sam wants to help his brother though. I couldn’t love it more. And I love how Dean is recognising that and thanking Sam. Damn, these boys are so awesome; they will be the death of me.

There were simply some lovely brother moments in this episode, both together and as individuals. I assume Dean’s food consumption and complete distraction when faced with college chicks was the Mark, once again demanding to be fed, and Dean feeding it the only way he can, or is willing to. On the other hand, Dean’s always loved food and chicks! I totally enjoy the hedonistic side of Dean; I find it unbelievably attractive. So when he’s eyeing off all the girls walking by, I really like it. Like, a lot. A. LOT. I’ve always found Dean’s total love of the women and his rather casual attitude towards sex, charming…the fact that he’s so gentle when he gets a girl in the sack just adds to that Dean Winchester enigma! Dang. I’ve gone and distracted myself! He really needs to learn to eat noodles though…but seeing Jensen just about to crack as those noodles came spilling out of his mouth and seeing Jared’s perfect Sam look in response, was a delight…and please let there be more of that on the gag reel.

Sam was uber smart in this episode and I love me some smart Sam. He was all over everything to do with the computers, figured out the wifi stuff, and even managed to quickly work out the only way to save Dean when that 911 call came through. I love that he knew straight away that to get through to Andrew was to have his wife talk to him. 

I didn’t know what a Trinni was. I figured it was like a Siri or a SatNav brand or something, but I’d never heard of it, but I was pretty sure Dean would have – and known a bit more about computers than he was allowed to show here. Remember what Frank taught him, and remember he did have a dating app and a translator app for his phone! But I’ll let it slide, because seeing Sam be all brilliant was lovely and Dean had his moments of brilliance later.

Actually it was more moments of empathy. And empathetic Dean rocks. I loved his conversation with Delilah, talking about being haunted by his mistakes and how he deals, or doesn’t deal with it, and that he does his best to put things right. When he says you can’t bury things like that, it seemed to me that Dean might have somehow turned a corner (I'm nothing if not optimistic). All the self-analysis that he would have been doing over the past weeks, as he looks to a future with the Mark of Cain, and what that may mean for him, has made him a more honest person, with himself and with Sam, and now with complete strangers. Because now he knows, burying stuff may be the difference between being able to live with that nasty ass tattoo and not being able to live at all. Sometimes Dean seems like the oldest and wisest person on the planet…this was one of those moments.

As was the moment with the spirit Andrew, once again, Dean talking from personal experience…

“The more you kill, the crazier you get, the blood fuels the rage, so it looks like to me you have two choices, you can keep killing, and become something that you won’t recognise or you can move on because that is the only thing that can give you peace......pain or peace.”

Dean has lived through this; he knows the sound of blood rushing in his ears as he gives in to need to kill. I adore that he’s admitting to this and using his experience to help others…which brings me to the end of the episode.

The closing scene between the brothers was another high point of season 10 for me. I’m just so blown away by these two and how they’re talking and especially Dean, who’s never been that great at sharing his feels. Hearing Dean talk about how helping people is his peace, it’s all he wants to do and he’ll fight the Mark until he can’t fight it anymore and he’ll go down swinging…well yes, I cried buckets of tears. I love that he now believes the answer is with him. I think Sam’s unwavering belief in Dean has brought Dean to a new place with his problem, and though I don’t think he’s at a point where he believes he can win the battle, just fighting it on his own terms will give him strength and power. Dean can’t live on false hope. We’ve seen that before. He needs to feel like he’s in control of his own destiny, not that destiny is in control of him. Damn, I couldn’t be more proud of Dean right about now. 

Or more proud of Sam, heartbreak etched on his face, who you just know is not going to give up on trying to find a way to help his brother, no matter what Dean says. His resolve to find a cure for the Mark of Cain is just as strong as Dean’s resolve to find a way to live with it. This may end up being an issue between them down the track, but right now, Sam is letting Dean have the space he needs, letting Dean call the shots, because he knows his brother back to front and he knows, this is what Dean needs. But what’s a bet he’s up all hours of the night researching and staying in touch with Cas…well we know he is, because… NEXT WEEK!

Halt & Catch Fire was about as old school as Supernatural gets, without losing touch with where we are now and how far we, and the brothers have come. An old school salt and burn complete with rock alias’ and the new school Sam and Dean, talking, sharing, respecting. Have I told you guys how much I’m loving season 10?

-sweetondean

Supernatural and The Prodigal Son

- by Melissa

Here's a thinky piece, by guest writer Melissa, all about the biblical themes surrounding the brothers Winchester! It's an interesting train of thought with interesting parallels. What do you think? Do you agree with her? Do you see any other biblical similarities?

I hope you all enjoy this article. Please welcome Melissa on board and give her some love in the comments! You can read more about Melissa here.
-sweetondean

Whether any viewers of Supernatural have or honour religious beliefs, fans cannot deny the unmistakable way Kripke and crew have borrowed theological and mythological morals and parables to help parallel the saga of these two brothers journeying together on the world’s ultimate road trip. 

Archangels Michael and Lucifer were obvious reflections of Dean and Sam. The younger brother becoming addicted to demon blood was a clear allegory for when family members stray from their relatives and fall into the wrong crowd (Ruby in this case, with Dean’s absence having been attributed to his death and subsequent venture to hell . . . It happens). But if you go all the way back to the very first season, I do not believe it’s accidental that many of the themes covered in those initial episodes happened to echo the biblical story of the Prodigal Son. 

For those unfamiliar, the gist of the story is that a father gives his inheritance to his two sons. Why he’s giving them their inheritance before he dies, I have no idea, but hey, it’s biblical times! Maybe he was anticipating death via the sniffles sometime that week? Immune systems really weren’t the best back then... Anyway, he gives the two boys their inheritance, at which point the younger one heads off into the most iniquitous of joints and blows all his money on gambling, hookers and good old fashioned carousing. He realises his mistake once he falls into poverty and returns home, begging for forgiveness from their father. 

Clemency is bestowed upon the sinful son, welcoming him back and going so far as to actually throw him a party, as opposed to giving him the justifiable beating my mother surely would’ve dealt out to me if I were ever so stupidly wasteful with my inheritance!

Meanwhile, the elder son wonders why his dumbass sibling is being treated so graciously, when he himself has always devoted himself to being the obedient and dutiful child. Thus his father explains that that’s just what families do, and when someone asks for repentance, we give them that chance.

Scholars and the like interpret this parable as a reflection for how God will always be willing to welcome us back from our own immoral escapades, and that we should see Him not as an unbiased judge, but as a loving paternal figure. 

Now you might be wondering: What the hell does any of this have to do with Supernatural? You know, that show where the brothers have on occasion thrown cleaning products at big-mouthed monsters? Well, after watching season one, I was instantly reminded of this exact parable. To me, John Winchester saw himself as the unchallenged authoritarian in the family, who has raised his sons to be the supreme soldiers of the supernatural world. Though their way of existence is arguably sacrilegious, to John their lifestyle was sacred and the only practical means for survival. When Sam left them and decided to go to school to become a lawyer, John saw that as an atrocious betrayal. Off went Sam pursuing his dreams, while he and his more dutiful son, Dean, were left to hunt the unnatural and keep the world safe from the things in the dark. Unlike the prodigal son, you cannot say Sam abandoned his family for a sinful excursion, but for John it might as well have been.

What separates the two stories is how Dean plays a much more important role in the supposed redemption of the younger son. It is Dean, out of his devotion to his family, who fetches Sam from his "academic digression", and drags him back into their life as hunters. Slowly but surely Sam rediscovers the value in being a Winchester, restablishing a rocky devotion to his father. Stripped of the differences, in the end John is the righteous father, Dean is the devout eldest, and Sam is the younger wayward son who will invariably find his way back home to his family. 

Repeated viewings allow me to glimpse upon deeper morals and undertones, many of which do seem to consist of theological parallels. Perhaps I am reading too much into the similarities, but that’s the joy of interpretive fiction! Without being right or wrong, whatever you take away from a story is your own personal truth. I’m just glad that over the years, Kripke and his fantastic crew have given me so many truths.

- Melissa

SPOILERS SWEETIES! Promo photos from Supernatural 10x14 "The Executioners Song"

-by sweetondean

So I was sitting at working waiting for stuff, surfing the web and I saw the promo pics for next week's episode - which dropped a couple of days ago, but they made me gasp...again.

So I couldn't resist posting them... for reasons of... SEE BELOW

*Accurate picture of me seeing this picture of Dean*

I don't know what it is, but for some reason I'm expecting Cain to burst into song and dance....

Oh right...that's why.

Seriously though - or maybe not, Tim Omundson's hair is now more epic than his beard and that's damn well saying something!

Seriously though - this time for sure, I'm looking forward to seeing Cain a hell of a lot, one reason being I can't wait to see what happens in the meeting between Dean and Cain and the other reason is I really love the character, "First Born" is one of my favourite episodes.

Dean with the First Blade - just after he said how he was going to fight the Mark or go down swinging. If he can control himself even with The Blade in his hand, that's going to go a hell of a long way towards making him feel like he really can live with the Mark of Cain. Unless of course, Cain does get rid of it for him? Maybe if Cain dies, the Mark will go? That would mean Dean would have to stick that jaw bone of an ass through Cain. Gah! I'm totally excited for this episode! I don't think the Mark will go...just yet (I kinda hope it stays), so I wonder what Cain's roll will be here?

I'd also like to note the maroon shirt has made another comeback. Is it me, or is it when Dean is a demon or fighting against the urges of the Mark, he wears that shirt? I needs to look into this!

I'd also also like to note...damn Dean Winchester is a fine specimen. I mean, HOT DAMN.

*Accurate picture of me watching Supernatural*

Meanwhile, back in Crowley's crib.

He needs a cleaner. Just because he's evil (BAHAHAHA - oops sorry, did I just laugh out loud?) doesn't mean he has to be slovenly! Seriously! He needs to run a vacuum over the place every once in a while!

Mummy dastardly up to no good. I love the door in the background that says 'Facilities' What is this place? Demons don't eat so they wouldn't be using the facilities! Unless it's another kind of facilities. Now I want to know.

Oh heys Crowley, is that a rather inappropriately positioned First Blade in your hand or... 

Sorry (so not sorry)

Beautiful shot. I love the light streaming down. 

I have one more thing to say...

-sweetondean