Tuesday, 16 May 2017

Review: Supernatural 12x21 "There's Something About Mary" - by sweetondean

I read Jared’s chapter the other day - his chapter, or rather essay in Fangasm’s new book Family Don’t End With Blood. It was funny, and goofy, and insightful, and powerful, and raw, and really, really scary, and it reminded me of something, it reminded me how much I too love fandom, and of what fandom means to me. It reminded me how thankful I am for all the friends I’ve made, for finding a place where I could be myself and not be judged for my passion but rather accepted and even admired for it. It reminded me how fandom helped me at my darkest time, through the loss of my dad. How fandom, the show, the conventions, the cast, helped me to understand that I could be happy even when desperately sad. Fandom and everything that comes along with it, helped me to redefine my grief, and I don’t know, I really don’t know that I would have ever got there on my own. 

Fandom is important to me, it's given me a home, it's given me a voice, it's given me an outlet, and it's given me so much love. I love fandom, I love our caring, driven, powerful, creative, focused, family. And it’s because of this love, this respect and admiration for what fandom can be and what fandom can represent, that I can get bitterly disappointed by it. Sometimes I just want to shut out the noise, the anger and negative responses that seem so out of whack with me and how I feel. I want to withdraw and just enjoy my show alone, my way, without being made to feel wrong or stupid because I don’t agree with this week’s fury raging all around me. I want to protect it, protect what I love, protect that profound sense of giddiness that my show always gives me even when it's at its bleakest. To protect what Sam and Dean mean to me, to my heart, my soul and my mind. Sometimes all this makes me want to distance myself from anywhere and anyone that might threaten the happy bubble this show has created for me, and threaten my ability to enjoy it.

Then I remember. I remember that I am not alone. That if I’m feeling love for the show, even when others are loudly shouting it down, that I am not alone. Other people are also feeling that love, and that isolation, and also want to feel like they’re not alone in this noisy, angry Universe, that they’re not watching the show wrong because they enjoy something many others seem not to. And though sometimes I just want to shut the whole thing down, and just bury myself in my love of the Winchester brothers, I also don’t want my love to be silenced, for me…or for you.

I really don’t care if people don’t like an episode, or don’t like an aspect of an episode, I really don’t, not even a little bit, we all see things differently. But how that is expressed, I do care about, a lot, because like I said, I love fandom and I believe in it. I have in the past, as recently as last week, let this affect me deeply and acutely…and let’s face it, the only person that hurts is actually me, because it makes me withdraw from something that gives me strength and happiness and purpose. And you know what, I’m not going to let that happen…

So thanks Jared, for reminding me that fandom, with all its flaws, can be beautiful, when it chooses to be, and I love it, and I love being a part of it just as much as I love this show that spawned it.
Jared with me in a choke-hold apparently (!) at AHBL8 - Melbourne May 7

I enjoyed There’s Something About Mary, and I ain’t gunna apologise for that. It was harsh for sure, but at this end of the season, I’d be damn shocked if it wasn’t. This was episode 21 of 23, no way was it going to be a cake walk. It was a rollercoaster of emotions, from epic sadness, to epic pride. It had the job of getting all the pieces of the puzzle on to the table for the season finale, and it did that well. From the brothers and their mum and the British Men of Letters, to Lucifer and Crowley and Lucifer’s kid…everyone is now in position and poised to kick our asses!

The tragedy in this episode started out right from the get go with the horrific loss of the hunter Eileen. I was so sad Eileen died, super sad, she was a great character, she was ballsy and smart, and I like her. I loved the little something something her and Sam had going on. When we heard her words in her letter about wanting to stay at the bunker for a while, I couldn’t help but later think of the possibilities. Of Dean excusing himself, so the kids could have some alone time. Of Eileen and Sam geeking out over research, of Sam learning more sign language, of a friendship that would blossom, and maybe blossom into something else. I felt so sad at what could have been and would never would be because Eileen died.

The show gave us a strong, capable character, who over a couple of episodes, we grew to love. But due to her job and unfortunate presence in the shit going down with the BMoL, she fell prey to the evil bastards of the season. This was pretty clearly telegraphed to be honest, as shocking as her death may have been, I was not even remotely shocked it happened. I would have been more shocked if it didn’t!

The way I saw it, I assumed the hunter deaths needed to be personal rather than abstract. To me, saying 7 hunters I've never met have died means zero, and though it would concern Sam and Dean for obvious reasons, it would not have the personal, emotional ramifications of a hunter they know being involved in the slaughter, for me or for them. Eileen was really the only hunter, outside of Jody and Claire that we and the boys currently have a relationship with this season, and that right there is a Sophie’s Choice! In addition to this, Eileen had earned the ire of the BMoL…and that's not a good ire to be at the end of.

We know the BMoL are vicious, cruel and horribly violent, but we haven't had the boys personally experience that since the beginning of the season, since Lady Bevell, who as far as they were aware, was still in England where she was shipped off to. The boys were still waiting on Mick, still trying to contact him. They were still calling Ketch, and though there was a warning message from their mum, they were yet to know what that meant, or see any of the behaviours by the BMoL that we have been privy to. They didn’t, and still don’t know about Magda, or the soldiers, or that Ketch put a bullet through Mick’s head, or tried to beat the snot out of their mum. But in figuring out that the BMoL horribly killed someone they cared deeply for, and figuring out that the hunters that were dying where not dying at the hands of monsters, the brothers begin to truly understand who the BMoL actually are, and what they were facing and what their mum is stuck in!

Supernatural has been amazing at giving us powerful, gutsy and relevant female characters, who because of their kickassness find themselves in the same life threatening situations as our brothers do. They find themselves choosing to be heroes, making the tough calls, standing up for what they believe in, and protecting strangers and those they love alike, even at the risk of their own lives. I personally like this. A lot. The women of Supernatural are not delicate damsels in distress, and I’m glad they are not treated as such. Eileen was awesome, and nothing will ever diminish that.

You don’t often see Sam wanting to punch something, anything in the face. Sam is usually more pragmatic. It’s Dean whose emotions usually boil to the top and bubble over in a fiery mass of fists and fury. So to see Sam so angry at what he was seeing, so gutted, so measured in the furious words he was delivering, made you know that no matter what, someone was going to pay for the death of his and his brother’s friend. Big ups to Jared for a fabulous performance in showing the pain and the shock of Eileen’s death over several scenes. Sam’s watery eyes always kill me. Always. And Jensen beautifully showed Dean’s heartache for his brother. We are so lucky to have those two.

There’s Something About Mary was full of smart brothers. Smart Sam and Dean are possibly my favourite, or maybe that’s kickass Sam and Dean, or funny Sam and Dean, or emotional Sam and Dean, or….well you know the drill! Here we had Sam and Dean not only figuring out pretty quickly that something hinky was going on with the hunters and it was most definitely not monsters, they also figured out it was a hellhound that killed their friend, and realised the culprits, hellhound or otherwise, must have been the BMoL. They found the listening device in the bunker, after an awesome sequence where they looked in the nooks and crannies, (I really loved the way that scene was shot), and managed to set a trap with it. 

Then they totally kicked ass in tag teaming to disarm and capture Lady Toni Bevell…that was wicked cool. And do not even start me on that epic gun fight in the bunker! With Dean shooting behind his back and Sam using Lady Toni as a shield! She deserves nothing less! Everything was decided on and organised with a couple of silent looks between the brothers that enable them to communicate an entire plan! As only they can do. So much can be said between them without saying anything at all, and that’s something I’ve always appreciated the hell out of.

While her sons were being pretty awesome all over the place, Mary was being brainwashed. 

Mary is an interesting one, because I really don’t feel a great deal of emotion for her, except on behalf of her boys, and while I don’t particularly like her as a character, I do like how she has been written, because it’s been truly interesting, and confronting, and totally not what I was expecting. Like Sam and Dean, I had a picture of Mary…well, through Sam and Dean I had a picture of Mary, but who we came to believe she was, is not who she was at all. I don’t think she ever gave up hunting, I don’t think she could ever really give up the life, no matter how much she thought she wanted to. She’s been back for about 7 months now, if we are counting how long the season has been on, and really, I don’t think she can say that she’s struggling with where she belongs anymore. I think she’s made that choice. I think she believes that she’s doing what she’s doing for her sons, but I think if she took a really long hard look at herself, I think she’d see that may not be an absolute truth. I think she enjoys hunting, and I think it’s gone past having something to focus on other than her feelings of isolation, to actually liking the work. I’m not sure why she’s avoided her sons so completely. I’m not sure if they’re just too hard, or if she’s scared of what they want from her, or whether she can live up to their expectations or what. I think it’s probably as confusing to her as it is to them. I don’t doubt that she loves them, she always has, but she’s definitely not a hugger, and she’s definitely nowhere near as demonstrative as either of her sons are, who both wear their hearts on their sleeves, even if in very different ways. I’ve enjoy the complexity of all of this, of everything Mary’s brought with her, even at the same time as not enjoying it, because it hurts those two guys I love.

I don’t feel emotionally connected to Mary. I can see she’s kickass and I like that, but I don’t feel anything much for her…except as I said, on behalf of her sons. I want them to be happy, I don’t want them to be heartbroken, so any feelings I have for Mary are seen through a filter of Sam and Dean.

I pity anyone who feels that their mind is being taken from them, through whatever means, and I did feel some sympathy for Mary as she was pleading with Ketch. Being brainwashed into killing friends must be an absolute nightmare. I was shocked she tried to kill herself, that felt very different to the Mary we had seen, I guess that was the point, her Marryness was being stripped away. I couldn’t decide if she was faking at the end or if she’s truly under the thumb of the BMoL now, I just  couldn’t read that one….I guess next week will tell. Whatever happens, the looks on her sons’ faces were totally devastating. I’m so sad for them, for what they gained and have inevitably lost through that gain. Their ideal of their mum is gone forever, and I’m not sure who she is, fills that void they’ve always felt. 

How on earth Mary’s story is going to round out, if indeed it does, is beyond me. There were a lot of Dean tears in the appa-teaser released by the show…and that already hurts my heart. I will say, that Sam Smith has done exceptional work this season, whether you like the character of Mary or not, Sam Smith has certainly turned in one hell of a performance.

I will not lie, I didn’t quite get the reverse polarity thing going on with Lucifer and Crowley, but I am super glad that got wrapped up! I was a little done with them evil monologuing at each other! I like Lucifer best when he’s scary…not campy/snarky. He gets a bit too cheesy for my liking. (Unpopular opinion time, I really still dig Rick Springfield’s Lucifer!) I love that we keep seeing Lucifer’s wings! They are not tattered, because he didn't fall when Metatron locked down Heaven. It made me wonder if any other angels were on earth at the time, because they’d have intact wings too! 

Why am I not shocked that Crowley has a deal with Hess and the BMoL? Of course he does! Lord...there is a lot that the boys are going to be seriously pissed with him about when all this stuff comes out! 

I don’t think for one-second that Crowley is dead. No demon flashes. It’s the same situation as when Cas stabbed him when Cas was all rabid Cas, but instead of Crowley’s essence whizzing down a drain, I’m pretty sure Crowley zipped into that conveniently located rat, that then happened  to follow the Crowley meatsuit out of the room! I wonder if we’ll see him back this week, or if we won’t see him again until season 13 - I can’t remember when Mark S shot up to? Was he shooting in that final week?

Like I said, I enjoyed this episode, as punishing as it was at times. A hell of a lot happened and even though it was chocker block, I found it moved really well and kept me right on the edge from those opening scenes to the very end.

So the boys are now locked in the bunker with Lady Bevell, with whom I assume they will have to work in order to get out. It won’t be the first time they’ve had to put everything aside to work with their enemy. Unless they just lock her up somewhere while they try to figure it out between them. I’d like that! They should do that!

And now we facedown the season finale, and whatever the hell that’s going to mean. Everyone keeps telling us it’s basically going to kill us…though don’t they always say that? Doesn’t stop me being terrified! I'm worried and excited. Worcited!

The writers headed back to work today to start preparing season 13! Can you believe? This thing never stops! Supernatural is the gift that just keeps giving!

Thanks guys for reading, for always reading, and for always being here with me to celebrating this fuckin’ awesome show.

Love you all.



  1. I so agree! It had to be Eileen, or no emotion would be involved. I remember when "Mans Best Friend" came out, that was everyone's complaint, that we didn't know the character. Therefore, we didn't care about him. I definitely cared about her. (Some of their best episodes are the ones that make me cry 😭).
    And Mary! I might be wrong, but I got the whole "control" issue. I think that's been her problem all a long. She came back to a world where everything was different, and she felt she has no control over anything! Especially Sam and Dean being adult hunters. For someone like her, I can't imagine what that was like.
    Smart and bad-ass Sam and Dean. YES!! I felt like they were at the top of their game right up until the end. I love episodes where they are smart, and in sync. And Dean getting the best of Ketch! I LOVED THAT! It was everything it needed to be at the end of the season
    I am on the edge of my seat for Thursday's Finale, as it should be!

  2. I completely agree. I was soooo upset about the hate directed at the writers, and very disappointed. I'm also really glad you've decided to continue your write-ups. You never fail to say what I'm thinking! So thanks for sticking it out. :)

    1. Yes that all was deeply troubling. Thank you so much for sticking with me!

  3. Couldn't agree more, especially about the fandom. I've blocked more people than I follow now. Just don't understand all the viciousness. That's why I read your reviews and listen to your podcast. Please don't stop. Enjoy the season finale.

    1. Thanks so much! I'm really looking forward to the finale, even though it's going to hurt and so is hellatus!

  4. AGREE 110% with EVERYTHING you said.
    You can't let a few negative, haters determine HOW you feel.
    Besides, no Family gets along perfectly, all the time.
    I am Offically TOTALLY TERRIFIED, especially after Jared said the script twenty even somewhere even he didn't expect!!
    2 more days and all will be reveiled....
    God bless our little show.

  5. Ditto love! On all of it!! You know I'm always going to live it with you!

  6. I really appreciate your willingness to continue to love this show even when it's not perfect...I have seen so many vitriolic complaints about how so much is wrong this season--but the writers aren't writing to our specifications (how could they possibly please everyone anyway?!) so let's just accept where they take us, and appreciate that we have Jensen and Jared taking us there because I'm sure the writers are giving their all to the story they want to tell!

    1. Yes me too. And we won't have this show forever, in fact we know that the end is closing in on us. I just want to appreciate the gift we've been given. Thanks so much for your comment and support :)

  7. Yes!! I agree with just about everything you say. I certainly identify with everything emotionally.

    The only difference is that I do like Mary. I can understand, to a large degree, why she has made the choices she has. Not always the right ones, but when I put it in to perspective that she is dealing with a world she feels alien in, boys that are her sons but she doesn't know them at all, and it's a terrifying prospect to her to find out how she fits in. Has she made the right choices? Hell no. She should have trusted her boys and stayed with them, but then we would have a show that was more Huxtible than Supernatural.

    This episode has set us up for another amazing finale. I'm glad we are getting a double episode, waiting an extra week would probably just about kill me!!

    1. It's not that I don't like Mary, I do enjoy her character, but I don't feel connect to her. I also don't want the Huxtibles, and to be honest, I only want Dean behind the wheel and Sam riding shotgun - full time, other characters I enjoy, but I don't what anyone with them full time!

      Thanks for your comment, Kim and your support.

  8. Love your reviews please do not let anyone make you stop!

  9. Amy, thank you so much for not giving in to the vitriol from last week and ending your positive, energetic, fangirl prose. I would miss it sooooooo much. But I'm not here to comment on more of that! Ugh. I want to squee and relish in all things good about this episode.

    I feel like I'm in the minority as well, regarding Mary. Maybe because I'm a mother who, would Mary have lived, would be about my age. And I have grown sons. Not quite as old as Sam and Dean, but I started late. LOL. Anyways....

    For some reason Mary has ALWAYS been my softspot with this show. Any episode where she was mentioned by the boys, where Dean looked at her picture, when there was a flashback, or time travel I was wrapped in a cocoon of warmth. When she came back I was over the moon. But I was curious how it would play out. And it definitely did NOT go anywhere that I expected or maybe wanted it to. This show is always full of surprises.

    From the first episode of the season I could empathize with Mary,but could also see both her and the boys' perspective. For so many reasons, not the least of which was the fact I experienced a recent huge personal change in my life this past year. I won't go in to specifics, but let's just say it has had an impact on my grown sons and how they see me. I made some decisions that I had to for my own health and happiness that has changed our relationship. But I'm sure there have been some moments where they looked at me and thought, "who is this woman we have always called mom" Children have perception of their parent that can definitely change when they become an empty nester. Like mama Bane said, "Parents are just people too."

    Because of this I could see where Mary was coming from in many ways. Not that I liked all of her decisions, but let's face it, she was in a totally foreign world on top of meeting her grown children. She was a woman with a specific life at one time. That woman was still in there. And there is no way there could be an instant connection or relationship with these strangers.

    I also could empathize with Sam and Dean. Especially Dean, who had actual memories of her. Although over time those memories most likely morphed into a fantasy Mary. So understandable as I also had a parent leave my life and was pretty much not in my life for over 15 years. Our memories can definitely warp over time. The true memories start to get confused with the 'wishful' memories of what could've been. And although we have reconnected, there is definitely not a 'normal' parent/child relationship there. Too much time had passed.

    Sorry if my thoughts got discunbobulated as I just got a phone call and my comment was interrupted. Basically I am trying to say I think the show created a very interesting arc with Mary. Very unexpected, but definitely NOT boring. Of course I would've liked to know Mary better, but I'm hoping she sticks around for another season for that to happen. (sobs uncontrollably at the thought she will die).

    I too am terrified of 22&23. I haven't even slept well the last two nights and I think that's why. I hope I don't need therapy Friday.

    Keep writing Amy, keep loving your show and I will keep reading ANYTHING you write.

    Thanks for listening.

    1. I love hearing other views on Mary, I know many relate to her, I enjoy the complexity of the character, I just don't feel that emotional about her! But I don't want anything to happen to her - because that would hurt her boys.

      Thanks so much for your continuing support, Kathy :)

  10. Almost forgot. The Eileen assault was so scary and hard to watch. Will miss her. And of course the J's were incredible in the bunker and their response to Mary. Sam Smith is my idol! What a performance. I cried so much during her pleas.

    And lastly, seeing Dean in full on crying mode. Not just OPT scares the s.... out of me!

  11. I was at Asylum 18 when the episode aired and therefore couodnt watch it (only a few snippets that were hellishly confusing). It was almost scary to hear so many "wtf's" around from those who had seen it though.
    Back home, of course it was first things first- I watched rhe episode. And watched it again, and a third and fourth time. Because I actually liked it more each time.
    I can understand that people are very upset about Eileen's death. Show got us invested in her character (and within only two episodes of her appearance, which is pretty good I'd say). I also understand perfectly that her death (or that of any hunter Sam&Dean have strong emotional bonds with) was necessary in the sense of character evolvement (for Sam) and pushing the story forward as fast as possible atvthe end of the season. I actually write my thesis about the "broken hero" in crime and thriller literature. The loss of a beloved person is more or less a must in stating the hero character's motivation to seek justice. Sam, who's been eerily zen all season, sure looked motivated after seeing Eileen's battered corpse and reading her letter (and wow, what a performance! Chapeau, Jared...).
    The rest of the episode was deliciously choreographed and acted out fight scenes, super smart Winchesters (finally!), a first row seat to psychological torture/brainwashing and its result that made me cringe (even if I too didnt get invested emotionally in Mary much), a scene between Ketch and Mary that was as tough to watch as it was a joy (kudos, David and Sam!).
    I never liked the whole Crowley/Lucifer storyline much, too much blahblah in their powerplay (and the whole SM innuendo started to get old for me). The technical side of the reverse power thingie I dont even TTY to understand 😉. And I must say that last scene with Lucifer staring over "his" land in the evening/morning sun looked downright kitschy to me (it made me laugh, which probably wasn't the intent I guess).
    I'm looking forward to the Finale, even if it eill crash my heart (as always). And here's what Kim Rhodes said in her and Briana's m&g at Asylum:
    "Don't lose faith. There'll be things happening in the finale you wont like and that will devastate you- but don't lose faith! That's all I can zell you..."
    And Briana added :" there should be s hashtag saying #RememberWhatKimSaid"...
    So... let's see what she was talking about in two (2!!!!) days!

    1. OH GOD! THAT SOUNDS TERRIFYING!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh man. You know we haven't really had a gut wrenching, terrifying finale since season 9...we are due some horrific pain!

      Thanks so much for you comment :)

    2. I'm already stocking up on chocolate... I have an inkling I'll need lots of comfort food 😬

    3. I'm so frightened! I may need more than chocolate!

    4. Oh sweet Jesus. If they kill Jody I will have a total come apart. So many people think it's Cas, but I fear it's Jody. She's in 22. And Misha's recent comment about the fan melt down. I mean EVERYONE loves Jody. All factions of fandom.

    5. I have dreaded this from as soon as I knew she was back, I desperately hope they do not kill Jody. After last week's outpouring of rage about Eileen, I can't even imagine what would happen if the show did that, let alone how personally I would be devastated I would be. I love her! And Kim! But I guess what ever happens we have to take solace in, and remember that Kim said DON'T LOSE FAITH!

    6. Exactly. Dhe also said - as people were obviously really upset about Eileen's death- "believe me, the writers hear you". She also hinted at the fact that the producers started to get that people are invested in female characters too (duh....). And that the network politics behind something like a tv show are... I think she didnt even say it out loud, but her face was very telling...

    7. Very interesting! Thanks for sharing all this stuff. If you fancy writing up a report, I'd be happy to host it here at sweetondean? I'm super excited for this finale, but I do feel like we've been let off kinda easy the last couple of years, so I'm also super scared!

    8. If I had been so smart as to take notes or at least write down what Kim and Briana said immediately after the M&g, I'd happily give y'all a report- but as it is, my head is one big tangled mess of post-Asylum chaos and pre-JiBcon nerves. Should the mess sort itself out and my memory find the information.... then I might write down something more accurate.
      And you're right, the last two years I didnt feel as emotionally crashed and burned as the years before either... so I guess the writers have pulled the Grenade Launcher out of Baby's trunk this year- and it's not gonna be pretty!

  12. It's funny but what happened between Lucifer and Crowley and that transfer of power/control thing reminded me of something that happened in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I don't know if you've ever read the book but there is a scene where Harry and Voldemort cast their spells against each other and their wands become connected. It happened due to the fact that their wands shared a wand core - a feather from the same phoenix. Once connected, the power along their wands began to shift from one to another. At first, Voldemort was directing his power towards Harry. But when Harry felt that his wand was about to shatter he began to direct his power towards Voldemort instead. Kind of similar transfer of power/control. I think it all comes down to the shared core thing - or in Lucifer and Crowley's case to the fact that the device is cemented into both their DNAs - thus connecting them together and feeding off of each other. The major difference, however, is that here the transfer seemed to happen out of its own accord rather than due to Lucifer's direct involvement, which means that he could have probably got out much sooner if he had only put his mind to it. In any case, that's how I explained what happened to myself :D

    I really liked this episode. It gave us a lot to consider and to discuss, provided us with new information we didn't know before as well as an interesting set-up before the finale. I can't wait to see how it's all going to pan out.

    1. THAT IS AN AWESOME WAY OF EXPLAINING IT! By the way...yes I have read the book...bit of a fan...have 3 Harry Potter tattoos and wore my full Gryffindor robes to Harry Potter world! :D

      Thanks so much for your comment!

    2. Wow! That's awesome. I'm a Harry Potter fan myself - though, alas, no tattoos or robes :D

  13. That makes sense... thanks for pointing it out! I still wonder how Crowley couldnot anticipate something like that happening, but well- hubris comes before the fall And all that 😉

    1. Exactly!:D He should have - but! he was too intoxicated with his so-called triumph over Lucifer to see beyond... or maybe even to care...

    2. It's unlike Crowley to make such a big error of judgement - I think he was blinded by his ego and his need for revenge!

    3. In that, the Winchesters have surpassed him this season, what with being so forgiving or at least open to others' POVs and needs and struggles...

  14. I'm glad you're continuing with your reviews Amy. You know that I'm always on the same page as you and I enjoy (love) every episode. Last week, I found myself getting drawn into that negativity and it was so draining. I will never understand why some people keep watching, when it's clear the show no longer brings them any happiness. I guess what upset me the most was that I thought the episode by Buckner/Leming was strong. Unfortunately, I think that the bashing of these two writers has become something of a sport with a small vocal section of the fandom. Whenever I see their names on an episode, I don't dread their episode because I've personally liked most of their episodes, but I dread the inevitable insanity that follows. They don't deserve it ... and especially in this latest episode (and the episode with Charlie) when it wouldn't have been their decision to kill off a particular character. That would be the show-runner - or a collaborative decision.

    Anyhow, enough of that. I, too, am reading 'Family Don't End With Blood' and there are elements in almost every chapter that resonate with me. I love this show and I love the fandom (mostly) and what it has contributed to my life.

    Onto something more interesting (SPOILER ALERT!!):

    At AHBL, I did the meet and greet with Jared and Jensen and they talked a lot about episode 22. I had asked them about a recent episode, where their characters talked about their legacy and carved their initials in the table. They agreed that the scene made them feel nostalgic for their characters and the show. But Jensen said that there is a scene in episode 22 that is even more emotional and nostalgic than that one. And, he said, that it was one of those scenes when they went to that emotional place unexpectedly. After filming, he and Jared looked at one another and did one of their little fist-bumps, because they knew it was good. So now I'm wondering if that's the scene where Dean is crying. Get those tissues ready.

    My question had a second part to it, as I had likened that 'legacy' scene between Sam and Dean to the legacy that Jared and Jensen have created with the SPNFamily - and all the good that has come from it. I don't think they really heard that part of the question because they mostly talked about Sam and Dean. But Jared did say 'thanks for saying that' when he realised what I was talking about. There is no doubt in my mind that these guys are the catalyst for what has become a very unique community. There is so much love at a Supernatural convention – between the actors, between the fans, and between the actors and fans. And it's even more special because of the state of the world right now - to be part of such a beautiful (mostly loving and generous) community is really something special.

    1. Thanks for sharing that, Karen!

    2. Thanks Karen! The love that was going back and forth at AHBL was one of the most I've felt. That was one loved up con. It really is so special what we have with this cast and our fellow fans - I'll be forever thankful for it. I'm so ready for this finale! Even though I'm terrified!

    3. I'm so terrified too - especially after reading Kim's comment above! What does she mean that 'there will be things that will devastate' us? I don't want to be devastated, lol :p

    4. I KNOW!! I am officially freaking out!

  15. Hey Amy, I have to say on first viewing, the episode was good and provided the shock factor needed for this time in the season. On rewatch I have to say I really loved it. Episode 21 is always going to be a hard episode to write as you are setting up the board for the finale episodes, I don't envy anyone having to do that! I loved Sam's reactions to Eileen's death and Dean silent support, love my boys! The gun fight in the bunker, awesome! Damn Jensen makes action scenes look amazing and effortless, also loved that behind the back shot and also the pout, lol! I also struggle with Mary, I just don't connect with her and I really don't know why. I think maybe I'm too protective of Dean and Sam, lol! Nobody hurts my boys and gets forgiven easily!
    I was amazed at the amount of hate and disgusting comments I saw online. I'm so sorry if some of those so called fans came after you, you are amazing with your always positive view of this amazing show we all love, please know so many of us love that!! This is the reason why I only comment on your site, people can comment and discuss without hate and name calling. Love your reviews, never change Amy!!
    As for the finale, that teaser has me officially terrified!! I can't wait but know my heart will ripped out and I will go through a box of tissues for sure, lol!! Amazing that after 12 seasons, this little show I love and have watched from the very first episode, can still do that to me. That is what it is to be a fan!! Until next time, stay awesome Amy, luv ya!! :)

  16. Thank you for your review. You expressed everything I was feeling, including the 'happy when I'm sad' type feelings (which happened most recently at AHBL8. It was a rollercoaster weekend.). I read another review today; one full of harsh critique about all the bad writing in the last few seasons. While there were some decent points, and the reviewer is fully entitled to their opinion, I don't see the show like that. Yeah, sure, some episodes are slight fizzlers (apart from the bugs in Bugs, that ep had some good scenes. Another time.) but I'm kind of an escapist viewer. I like to take in as much as possible but I don't deliberately watch it to nitpick. 99% of the time, I'm just glad we get to watch a brand new episode every week and know they're coming back next year to do it all over again. I'll be so lost when it is ov...well, that thing that must not be named.
    I also don't read reviews anymore from the aforementioned reviewer because I feel like they're trying to destroy the pleasure I get by just watching. The only reason I read the one earlier was because I didn't know why everyone had their knickers in a knot about the ep.
    I'll read yours, instead.

    1. Thank you. Yes, I'm not a nitpicker, I'm an enjoyer and I'm a valuer and I value this show and feel blessed it's still in our lives! Thanks so much for sharing your views :)

  17. Hi Amy,

    Your blog is the first place I go every morning, having followed you from a certain other space. The negativity out there just amazes me, as to WHY do people still watch something if it upsets them so much. Don't understand it. Nope, not at all. I love our show, and I guess I just take things at face value and enjoy every episode as it is. Really don't expect a horror genre show to be PC, so I'm not sure why some people expect it to be a respecter of delicate sensibilities. It's not supposed to be. So please continue with your wonderful reviews and ESPECIALLY your previews. Woman, you literally make me embarrass myself at my desk at work while reading them, the squeeing gets so uncontrollable.
    Looking forward to reading said preview tomorrow, while deciding how many boxes of tissues/cases of beer will get me through the season finale. Dean's face in some of those preview pictures. OMG! Thanks for writing.

  18. Hahahaha you're totally right about the previews (and the rest of course)! I happen to crack up right in the middle of my workplace, sniggering uncontrollably, while reading it (and hopefully making other peoples' day by making them smile when waiting for their dentist's appointment ��)