Sunday, 16 October 2016

Sweetondean's Review: Supernatural Season 12 Premiere - Keep Calm and Carry On

It’s always such a relief to get our show back. It’s a long hiatus, and though this year we were treated to slew of amazing articles and photos during our 5 month dearth, nothing takes the place of the show and brand new episodes - time spent with our favourite characters in brand new situations.

The fact that Supernatural has made it to season 12, is one hell of an achievement; the fact that it can still turn out season premiere episode like Keep Calm and Carry On is why it has made it to 12 seasons!

Written by our new show runner, Andrew Dabb, Keep Calm and Carry on deftly juggled 3 storylines, changing from scene to scene with perfect pacing and allowing us to understand what was happening, and what was being set up for the future, with minimal exposition.

With an episode so rooted in the Winchester family mythology, Dabb brought into focus series and character history through Sam’s hallucinations, and introduced us to new history, stories we hadn’t heard about John and Mary, giving us tantalising snippets for our imaginations to run wild with, while filling out the Winchester family lore. it was beyond perfect.

I freely admit I sobbed in the opening scene with Dean and Mary, I know I’m not the only one, because you all told me you did too! The idea of John telling his boys how he met their mum was equal parts heart lifting and heart breaking. I pictured, as most did, Sam and Dean as children, pestering their dad to tell them the story one more time. Maybe to fill long drives, maybe as a comforting bedtime story. Keeping them in touch with their mother, making sure she stayed alive in their minds, “Tell us how you met mum, dad, please, just one more time.” Can’t you just hear it? Can’t you just see it? John acquiescing and relaying the, much told, story to his young sons. Sam and Dean hanging on every word, even though they knew the words by heart. The picture Andrew Dabb painted in that small scene was incredibly vivid, and it totally hit me right in the feels. 

As did Dean repeating those stories to Mary, like a wide eyed child, words almost tumbling over each other. Then telling Mary how long she’d been gone, “33 years”, without hesitation, not even a beat, like that number is on his mind every day, like the death of his mum and the length of time he has had to live without her, is a constant he endures. It was an incredibly moving and telling scene. 

I honestly can’t think of a more perfect way for that scene to have played out. Dean looked so small as he stared at Mary. Standing in front of his mum as a grown man, but still so much the little boy who lost her so many years ago. Every emotion danced across Dean’s awe-struck face. His eyes filling up as he relayed the stories of Mary and John. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen Dean as a son, but in this moment, that was who he was. Even just hearing him say, “Dad told me” was like a punch to the gut, and he seemed to, at every opportunity, say ‘Mum”, like he’s been waiting to do that for 33 years. I felt the loss that Sam and Dean suffered so profoundly in these moments. 

I wasn’t sure how the whole reintroduction of Mary was going to play out, but certainly this first taste was beyond wonderful. Samantha Smith did such a amazing job of portraying Mary’s confusion, her fear… Realising that this grown man standing in front of her was her 4 year old son! I kept thinking, wait until she sees Sam! I can not wait for that moment. Lord, she even remembered burning on the ceiling, as her final moments came flooding back to her. The sadness. 

As Mary said “Dean” and Dean said “Hi mum”, his voice so small, the beautiful Winchester theme accompanying them as they hugged, Dean’s face framed by his mother, I was completely lost to this episode - and that was just the teaser! Argh. I loved it so much.

Yep, I totally loved Keep Calm and Carry on. It was one of those episodes where I suddenly realised it was nearly over and I wanted to cry, because I didn’t want it to end, ever! Every element, from all of Dean and Mary’s heart wrenching interactions, to Cas, to Crowley and the sassy (now dead), demons, to Sam displaying that Sam “fucking” Winchester strength of mind, body and soul, to Dean’s contained intensity as he searched for clues to his brother’s whereabouts, to Mary’s separateness as she tried to understand this world she’d been pulled back into. The pace built beautifully, slowly ratcheting up until I was on the edge of my seat screaming violent instructions at the television! Amazing storytelling from a show that can tell the big biblical stories as easily as the small personal stories; characters as comfortable in quiet, personal moments as they are kicking asses all across the screen.

The season 12 opener, brought the story of the Winchesters out of the lofty realms of heaven and hell and back down to earth. Family has always been the corner stone of Supernatural, and no one is more important to the roots of that story than Mary Winchester, the jumping off point of the mythology of the Winchester boys; the reason for all that followed. She’s pretty much a myth to them - a story told by their dad - a photo by the bed. Dean barely remembers her, Sam has no memory of her at all. They have created her in their minds through 33 years of loss, and longing. Bringing her back forces Sam and Dean into a long forgotten role - that of son. We will get to see them in a new light, and through the eyes of an outsider (which, regardless of her connection, Mary currently is and surely feels), showing us a different side to the brothers, as well as reflecting them back on themselves. The promise of all this is fascinating, from how the reintroduction of their mother in their lives affects the dynamic between Sam and Dean, as well as their individual relationships with their mum, to having her in the mix of a hunt - an additional worry of another person to care about and endeavour keep alive - another Achilles heel. How will all this impact Sam and Dean? 

This is all outside of the story of Mary herself, and her struggle to fit into a world 33 years further along than when she left it, without the husband she loved and with two very large, self sufficient, capable, hunter sons, regardless of how long she is a physical part of the story.

The promise of all of this was deftly set up by the season opener…we’re in for a good ride!

I loved seeing the aftermath of the angel banishing spell. Who hasn’t wondered where the hell the angels went when they’re zapped off like that. Apparently they don’t go all that far and apparently they get there at a great rate of knots! Cas (Castiroid - as Kevin Parks dubbed him), landed like a meteor in a field some 300 miles from Lebanon, Kansas, burning through a Mystery Spot billboard, crashing to earth in front of a gob smacked local, and promptly steeling his car - well I guess he learnt from the best, though the Winchester’s way is more hot wire than send to sleep! I laughed out loud! Poor dude!

We’ve been promised a Cas more in line with the badass we met in season 4. Cas back then, though sympathetic to humanity had a dangerous edge to him that we really haven’t seen for a long while. As he became more like people, that I’ll smite you at a moment’s notice attitude, gave way to the more confused, fish out of water Cas we’ve come to know and love, and though that Cas is adorable, I’ve always loved it when he’s kicked some ass. 

Cas is on a mission - he promised Dean he’d look after Sam, those were his parting words to his friend, and Sam got taken, and Cas is pissed off! I really love pissed off Cas! I also loved Cas practically yelling at Dean when he realised his friend was alive, "WHAT ABOUT THE BOMB, AND THE DARKNESS?", and glomping him, because that was a powerful glomp not a hug! A big, wide eyed, over excited, glomp!

Crowley is also on a mission, to regain hell, regain respect - or maybe fear might be the appropriate word - kill Lucifer or lock him up or whatever he needs to do to become the King of Hell again, and though we didn’t see a lot of him, we know what his fight is going to be. I hope he gets all that back, like Cas, I prefer my Crowley as badass!

Then there was Sam and Dean.

The two worst things you can do to Dean is hurt his brother and hurt his Baby! The British Men of Letters have really got off on the wrong foot with the elder Winchester, because they’ve done both those things!

In the midst of the weirdness of having his mother back, of having to tell her that her husband, his father, died to ensure Dean lived, of having to tell his mother that her husband, his father raised her sons as hunters, that their life was everything she didn’t want for them… in the midst of all that Dean must have been feeling in those moments, his little brother had disappeared, and he was thrown into a search for Sam. 

Driving back to the Bunker with his mum in tow, Dean was expecting to be reunited with his brother, instead he found pools of blood. I was impressed with the way Dean kept it all together, with so much craziness going on, he, dare I say, kept calm and carried on! He reminded me of Sam. Don’t panic, work the case, work out the answers, track down the clues - methodically but rapidly - because he had that traffic camera and car details sorted in a matter of minutes! I love when we see Dean do stuff like that, I love it when we see how damn smart he is. 

It wasn’t until Dean spoke to Lady Toni and his fury was released, Hulk smashing the phone with his bare hands (a real, solid, not pre-broken phone by the way…H-O-T), that we saw what we knew was burning through his insides. She took Sam, she hurt Sam (or worse), and she was going to pay for that. Dean can be terrifying. That quiet, seething threat of violence that permeates his body language and tone of voice, is equal parts scary and super hot! I wondered if, before this moment, he was keeping his ferocity in check around his mum - who's already pretty freaked out, I wondered if it was just him and Cas how his temperament may have differed, I wondered if he’s already protecting his mother. I remember Jensen saying that Dean worries that Mary could become another weakness for him, another chink in his armour, another tool to be used against him and Sam by those who want to destroy them. The cascade of emotions he must have been feeling, dealing with the confusion and wonderment of having his mother standing beside him, and the anger and fear of the unknown in regards to Sam. Man, I bet all he wanted to do was have Sam meet their mum…share that moment with his little brother… Yep, they’ve both gotta get put through the ringer first! Heaven forbid they have nice things!

Mary never wanted the life Sam and Dean have, for her sons. She fought against being a hunter, rebelled against the family business and got out, marrying a civilian (of course we now know John was actually a Men of Letters legacy), raising her family in what she hoped would be safely away from the supernatural. But Sam and Dean have, through years of grappling with their destiny, embraced their life’s purpose. They’ve embraced that this was what they were meant to do, to help people, to help the world. They've come to a place beyond purely acceptance, to a place of some pride in the work that they do - it’s been a struggle to get to there - for all of us (!) - but there is a peace within Sam and Dean now. This is their road, and as long as they’re travelling it together, they’re okay with it. Still, hearing Dean articulate this to his mother was deeply moving. To hear Dean utter belief in his worth in the grand scheme of things completely choked me up. It’s taken a long time for him to believe in himself like that and to believe him and Sam do more good than they do bad. A long time. I’m so proud of who this man has become.

Mary - “I spent my life running from this, from hunting. And I got out. I never wanted this for you and Sam.”

Dean - “Mom, I get it. I do. If I had kids, I wouldn't want them in this. But, Sam and me. Saving people and hunting things, this is our life. I think we make the world a better place. I know that we do.”

I think this harmony between the brothers, their belief in what they do, is also what helped Sam deal with what he was going through while being tortured by Lady Toni and Ms Watt…well that and he thought his brother was dead, what could they possibly do to him that would hurt him more than the loss of Dean...

Sam’s strength is one of his most amazing assets, and I’m not just talking about his physical strength, but his mental strength and the strength of his soul. Yep, he’s been tortured by the devil himself and is still standing, in fact, he was willing to go down that road again last season, rather than bow to Lucifer’s demands. If Sam believes in it, he will stand firm no matter what. His resilience is breathtaking. I’m not sure Sam Winchester is breakable anymore. Not mentally anyway.

When Lady Toni decided to attack Sam’s mind and release in him all the things that he’s felt guilt over in the past, well once upon a time that would have worked much better for her, but this is a different Sam. Like Dean, Sam is far more assured of his place in the world and the good that he and his brother do. He has accepted hunting as his life, and has even said that he likes his life as a hunter. Last season his brother told him he held no grudges, that the past is the past, all that matters is the they’re still together - that’s all that’s ever mattered. A fresh breeze blew through Sam and Dean’s relationship, and each openly supported the other with no judgement or finger pointing. They are stronger because of it, both as brothers and as individuals. The guilt that Sam once felt for just about everything, though probably not gone completely, is no longer as crippling as it once was. It’s baggage he can carry more easily these days. He could recognise when it was the Darkness making him say untruths to Dean in the penultimate (who says penultimate) episode of last season, just as he could recognise what he was seeing while being tortured, was not the truth of his life; that he’s not responsible for every bad thing that’s ever happened ever. His understanding of this helped him overcome those inner demons flashing before his eyes, and fight back. Sam is stronger than he’s ever been.

But he’s so alone - or at least he thinks he is - as he sat on the stairs, trapped, injured, angry…seriously, with Black Sabbath’s Solitude playing, that was one of the saddest images the show has ever jabbed into my heart! I can not wait until Sam sees Dean. Can not wait.

I think we’re going to find there is more to Lady Toni than meets the eye. She’s being set up as a potential rebel, and shown to have a softer side as a mum - which also parallels to Mary. She didn’t necessarily agree with the old men preventing the Men of Letters from getting involved in the first round of the Apocalypse, she watched Sam on the monitor with a mix of curiosity and what looked like admiration, she seemed genuinely horrified when she thought her drugging him had cost him his life, thought that might have just been because she wasn't finished with him - and of course, she now knows, given the opportunity, Sam did not in fact kill her as he had promised he would, he let her live. I think she could be being positioned to come around and become an ally in whatever is coming. Maybe. Currently though, the accent in a pantsuit is enemy number 1. You do not shoot, water torture, burn, or in anyway hurt Sammy and not pay for it. She’s got a lot of looking over her shoulder in her future!

I’m so fascinated by whatever lies ahead in relation to Mary, and how long she'll be part of the season. Samantha Smith did an amazing job at portraying Mary’s sense of bewilderment at the world she’d been thrown back into. The astonishment of Dean, the overwhelming information crashing down upon her, the isolation and strangeness that she felt. She looked so lost in the back of the Impala, as Dean drove; he tried to say something, but at that point, what was to be said. She must have been reeling, husband dead, grown up sons hunters, an alien world, and she’s back on this earth less than a day and already dragged into the life she fought so hard to leave; her first kill as tough to stomach as it should have been - even if it was to save her son’s life. Mary is obviously a kickass, accomplished, savvy hunter, but that’s not who she wants to be. Or at least it wasn’t. So it’ll be super interesting to find out who she becomes now, and how she fits in - if she indeed does. I’m looking forward to not just her interactions with her sons, but also with Castiel - they connected over the strangeness of a world that neither really belongs in. I’m looking forward to discovering how Mary chooses to use this second chance. 

For the most part, Keep Calm and Carry On was pretty serious stuff, there was some very serious shit going down, what with the torture and heavy family discussions, and phone rage and all, but like Supernatural does so well, Andrew Dabb in particular, there were still some light moments. 

I’m pretty sure we found out that Dean was conceived in the back seat of his precious Baby! That look Mary had, as she reminisced over whatever took place back there, and Dean’s face as he realised what his MUM was thinking about… SCARRED FOR LIFE - let’s face it, no one wants to think about that stuff about their parents - and Cas’ confused face as he tried to figure out what the hell just went on… It was all delightful! It makes perfect sense to me that Dean would have been conceived in that car, perfect sense! That car’s backseat has seen a lot of Winchester action!

I loved Dean’s pride when his mum said that John’s car was still beautiful, “Hell yeah she is”, I loved the whole moment with Mary gently running her fingers over Baby’s body, as she remembered her husband. I loved that she said, “Hey sweetheart, remember me?”, just like when Dean came back from hell; “Hey, sweetheart, did you miss me?” The synergy was beautiful. There was just so much history in this episode - which was sooooo perfect!

Yep…I loved Keep Calm and Carry On, can you tell? It was a particularly strong season opener. It felt fresh and exciting, a mean feat for a show starting its 12th season. Jensen was amazing, Jared was amazing, Samantha was amazing - their performances were all so powerful. I’m so excited for them all to be together and see how that pans out! Andrew Dabb wrote a script that pack an emotional punch, and was rich in the family ties that make this series so special. He touched on so much history, he set up teases for the season, without hitting us over the head with it, and gave us enough little treats to set our over imaginative minds racing. I cried, I laughed, I cried again, I screamed expletives - all signs of a damn good ep! I’m excited for what’s to come.

I’m so sorry this was so long, I know I rambled a bit - but I had a lot to say…and you know, 5 months of waiting to say it! Let me know your thoughts in the comments. As always, thanks for reading! WE’RE BACK!



  1. Don't ever apologize for the length of your review. I could read your stuff for hours! This episode was beautiful, gut-wrenching, sad, scary, solemn, breathtaking and every other glowing adjective I can't think of right now.

    Ditto to EVERYTHING you said. I was getting tears the minute Dean saw Mary. Just in anticipation. As a mother of grown sons, Mary's place in this show has always been very special and meaningful to me. Every time either boy looked at pics of her I would well up. When they went back in time and spoke to her I was a wreck. I think Mary coming back tops even Bobby coming back for me. Because Mary is where it started and like I said, I have a super soft spot for her. Which grew even bigger when I met Samantha Smith for a photo-op in Vegas 3 years ago. Sometimes I scare myself when I forget these are characters in a TV show. They are all so real to me. And their relationships.

    I too immediately thought Dean was conceived in Baby in that scene. Afterwards I said to my friend I"m glad I got a bit of comedy relief as my stomach was in knots over the previous scenes. Jensen and Sam Smith were beyond wonderful and believable. Jensen is just so great at projecting emotion with a look it kills me.

    And Jared, OMG! That he kept fighting thinking Dean was dead was incredible. No, this is NOT the Sam of old. That last scene had me jumping off of the couch yelling, 'Sammy, mama's gonna be there soon!'. Again, mom of grown sons here. Alone on those steps, I could hardly take it.

    Okay, my turn. Sorry this is so long of a comment. I could talk about this episode for hours. I am SOOOOOO excited for this season. The feels are gonna break me in a good way, but oh the agony enduring it all sometimes. Love this show, this cast, crew and just ALL of it.

    Okay, better quit. You had me teary eyed reading your review, and now I can barely see to type.
    Thanks AMY!!!

    1. Haha! It's hard to be brief with this one! it was so good :)

  2. Hey Amy, as always your review's are the best!! I loved the episode, but had maybe one issue with it. Jensen and Sam at the beginning had me in tears, damn Jensen kills me with those eyes! Jared was amazing, Misha amazing and I so adore Mark's snarky Crowley. The issue I have and I know I may be overreacting is the fight scene. I know the Wol thug had enchanted knuckle dusters(something I never thought I'd say,lol) but it seem's to me that since S11, Dean seem's to have lost the ability to fight! It's only, Dean is a seasoned hunter and badass so how was he and Castiel, who's an angel taken down so easily! As I say, it was my only glaring issue, other than that I love the episode! Also Dean breaking that phone in half and the glare after, damn boy... is it hot in here!! Loved defiant, sassy Sam, that's the Sam I love, poor baby!! All in all, an amazing start to S12, roll on next week!! Sorry, I know I ramble sometimes but it happen's when I talk about the show I love, ciao!! :)

  3. Those knuckle dusters had sigils that gave them extra power - and certainly enough power to take down an angel. If they can take down Castiel, they can certainly take down Dean - good fighter or otherwise. I think the fact that they glowed, made their power obvious. Dean is amazing, but he's not super human! That's my take on it - and that he fought back hard regardless of their strength! I certainly don't think there's any shade on Dean's skills.

    1. Also, I sure hope Dean took them with him!!

    2. Hey Amy, thanks for your reply. I agree that the knuckledusters had extra power thus making her stronger but it's just the way the fight went down. Dean had a gun but didn't use it straight away? I know he was most likely pissed and wanted to get her face but still... And I know he fought back hard but I was just a bit disappointed. Sorry, I don't want to sound like I'm shading Dean's skills because I adore Dean!! I still loved the episode and yes, I hope Dean took those with him, lol!!

  4. It's late so I'll be reading your review tomorrow as they are always a joy to read and I need to be on full alert. I did start reading the beginning though, and forgive me as I don't mean to destroy your head canon...but there's a bit of a glitch in your fantasy. I don't believe Sam got any storytelling from Dad regarding his Mom. I don't think he got any stories from Dean either. Remember what Sam said in the Pilot?....He said to Dean....if it weren't for a few pictures he wouldn't even know what his mom looked like. That to me was an indication that Sam only knew he even had a mom because of her pic. I didn't get the sense that he had any other knowledge about her, other than she died in a fire. In AVSC, when wee Sam asked about his Mom and how she died, little Dean screamed at Sam telling him never to talk about mom, ever. So that led me to believe that Dean didn't discuss his mom either. Ever since show began Sam always gave me the impression that he knew very very little about his mom because neither his dad or Dean would talk about her. It was only when Sam was an adult that Dean would throw in a little fact about in houses of the holy when dean told Sam that his mom had faith like Sam did. I do however think that as a little boy Dean begged his father to tell him about his mom and I could see john telling dean ....but I imagined Dean learned a lot of it when his mom was still alive.

    1. Dean was 4 when his mum died, he sure wouldn't have remembered those stories from then, neither would they have meant anything to a 4 year old - only later would it mean anything to him, so those stories were definitely later. Any addition to the Winchester history is a plus in my eyes - we know so little, so I never make calls on that stuff - just enjoy it!! The stories were wonderful! I know I wasn't alone picture that scenario - absolutely everyone on my twitter let their mind go there too!

    2. I kind of imagine that these stories were told to Dean when John was on a bender and Dean was busy putting him to bed, with John muttering stories of his beloved Mary - probably around the time of the anniversary of her death. I can also imagine that maybe these stories flowed more easily after Sam left for college.

  5. Ditto on Kathy's quote “Don't ever apologize for the length of your review”. You always just nail my every thought and feeling when I watch it and then I so look forward to your review.

    I cannot tell you how many rewatches I have had already of this episode. It was a long 5 month hiatus but this made it so worth the wait.

    Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, and Sam Smith were stellar in their performances. Words were not needed to feel the feels that they were feeling. (Sorry that almost turned into a Crowley tongue twister.)

    I love that Sam got some epic lines that showed how kickass tough he is. I am also loving kickass Mary and cannot wait to see her open up that can of whoop-ass on the chick that is responsible for inflicting all the pain and torture on her boy Sammy.

    I too cannot wait until next week when Sam finally sees that Dean is not dead but then also that either is mom. I could not believe the episode was over so quickly. I yelled no I'm not ready for it to be over. I want more, much more right now, not 7 days from now. Sooooo greedy, I know.

    I don't think it is possible to love a show and its actors more than I do. Andrew Dabb is starting out Season 12 with a bang but I had no doubts that he could handle it with style and charm and awesome stories.

    Thanks again Amy for an inspiring and as always heartfelt review.

  6. I really enjoyed the rest of your review. I realized that at four dean might not have asked or remembered, after all he didn't remember the trip to the grand canyon. I still don't think Sam was around for any discussion about his Mom though. I agree that if John did speak of Mary it was probably when he was drinking. Since we now that Sam was left behind as a kid on most of the hunts, if Dad were to tell stories about how he met Mary, it was with Dean alone. Sam has never given any indication that he knows anything personal about his mom. It was made absolutely clear in the Pilot that if it weren't for pictures, he wouldn't know what she looked like. That statement alone screams to me that neither Dean or Dad talked about Mom, as it was likely too painful. I do however picture Dean learning about his Mom when Sam was off in college and Dean & his Dad were hunting alone. Whether or not Sam learned from Dean more recently offscreen about his Mom, I'd like to think so, now that brotherly moment does make perfect sense....but there's no way I can even fathom John having warm cozy moments telling his kids about their mom.....either way, your head canon or mine, a cherished moment was shared and that's all that counts.

    can't wait for next week's read....enjoy the torture of the next four days.....

    1. Argh I'm going to be at a wedding! The torture of waiting is going to kill me!

  7. It's just that the scene on the bridge back in the Pilot...Dean was going on about it being their responsibility...and Sam had what, to Dad's quest...if it weren't for a few pictures, I wouldn't even know what Mom looks like....besides even if we find the thing that killed her, she's not coming back. Dean followed with, "don't talk about her like that".

    That set the stage. Sam was able to go to college, not feel obligated to search for his mom's killer because he had absolutely no connection to her. He only knew what she looked like because of a picture. It wasn't until Jess was killed that Sam got involved in the hunt, because his connection was with her. I've always felt that his obsession with that and his overwhelming guilt over that, apparently to this day, has a lot to do with his lack of connection to a mother he never knew. What he didn't have with his mom, he put all of it into Jess and then she was taken. Sam has admitted to dreaming about his mother, but it's all a fantasy...a dream of what it could've been like. To this day, other than Sam mentioning the dream about his mom in Baby, and only that one time in AVSC, Sam has never really talked about his mom. He never mentioned any past memories about her, even if it was someone else's memory of her. When he met her when he was young, that's really the only true memory he had of her, that belonged to him. Other than that, sadly, Sam has never given any indication in any way shape or form, that he knows anything about his mom. But Dean has it really makes sense that as an adult, when Sam was off in college and it was just Dean and Dad, I can see Dad sharing those memories of Mary. At this point, Dean was the one who stayed behind, while Sam left, and it's been years since Mary's death, so I can see John opening up to Dean and Dean having the courage to ask. Like I said, I do think that if Sam does know what Dean knows, and I so hope he does, then that info came from Dean...oh now that is a flashback scene I would so love to see....but gratefully it's playing in full technicolor in my head.

    sorry for the ramble, I just wanted to explain where my head canon was long as both of us are smiling about it....that's all that matters.

    1. Except Sam knew where Mary's headstone was and I don't see Dean telling him about it, since he was at that time pretty set against having anything to do with it. Dean didn't seem to like talking about his mom very much in those earlier seasons. In A very Supernatural Christmas, the young Dean was down right mad about Sam talking about his mom. He didn't want to go anywhere near the house in Lawrence in Home because even at 26 that wound was still too raw. It would make more sense to me that Sam would be the one to bring her up to both of them because he didn't know anything about her. He didn't share the same sort of grief they had with them. Dean talked about Sam constantly asking questions when he was little so I can easily imagine him asking John to tell him more, and I don't think John was so self-absorbed that he wouldn't share the story with both his sons of how he met Mary.

    2. I don't for a second believe Sam felt no connection to Mary

    3. I kind of wonder about the headstone thing, because apparently Mary's uncle put up the headstone. I don't see how Sam knowing where his mom's headstone is is connected to him being involved in their dad sharing the story with both boys on how they met.

      I never said Sam didn't have a connection to his mother. As a matter of fact, it's clear that Sam has always felt responsible for her death. He admitted so in Salvation. He most certainly has a connection. it's not the same kind that dean has. Sam never experienced a mom. And as he noted in the Pilot, he only knows what she looks like because of a picture. Not because of any personal description. Of course Sam has a connection to Mary. He feels responsible for her death. He ran away and went to school because he knew deep down it's not what his mother would've wanted for them. As a matter of fact, Sam going to school was honoring his mom. Sam also loved his a matter of fact he loved her so much, that he took out all of his anger on his father. Mary is the one who cursed Sam in the first place, but you never once saw Sam show any anger towards Mary about that. Sam didn't feel obligated to be involved in his Dad's quest for revenge though as dean tried to make him feel that way. it was when dean told sam that he had an obligation...that's when sam said what to dad's quest...that's when he told dean if it weren't for a few pictures, I wouldn't even know what she looked wasn't until jess died that sam needed to be involved. that was real to him. she was real. she was someone he experienced first hand. it was his connection to jess that had him embark on the quest to find both her and his mom's killer. do you remember wendigo....I have to find jess' killer, it's all I think about. so while sam totally loved his mom even though he never experienced her, his focus was on jess...his guilt was over her death...just like his guilt was over his mom's ....sam said it to sarah....when people get close to me they get hurt, it's like i'm cursed or something. Sam meeting for his mom the first time, he was totally in awe of her. it was wrong to use the term no connection with wasn't so much that he had absolutely no connection...but what he had compared to what dean actually had was different. Both of the boys initially reacted differently....Dean by staying with his dad to try to find what took his mom, and Sam leaving because he felt that this wouldn't be the life his mom wanted for them.

      Does that make more sense?

      I'm afraid though I just can't imagine John having a heart to heart with his kids about Mary. I don't even see Dean as having the courage to even ask about his mom when they were kids. I can see Dean asking John about Mary while on a hunt during the years Sam was in college...Dean would be in his mid twenties by then, and I think Dean would've been able to muster up the courage to bring up mom. I don't think Sam found out anything from Dad...but I do think Dean shared the story with him...just like he shared bobby's secret about tori spelling and that he got a pedicure. LOL.

      What it really comes down to is Dean....he's the one who's convinced me....cuz when Mary asked Dean how he knew all of that.....his reply was Dad told Me. He didn't say, cuz Dad told us....

      This has been an awesome discussion though...sorry if I didn't make myself more clear....sometimes I need you guys to keep me on my toes when I don't express myself the right way.....thanks for that.

    4. Shit Amy, you can't edit once you write I was going over the post I realized I made a mistake....I couldn't I'll edit down here. I need to take back the I never said there was no connection... I did say that....I do feel that Sam didn't have the connection to Mary that would ultimately put him on Dad's quest. He didn't share live memories of his mom, so in that respect, his connection to his mom is different than that of Dad and Dean. I apologize for not making that clear....

    5. I guess I don't have such a harsh view of John. I'm like his boys - I know he wasn't the best, but under the circumstances, he did what he could. I figure if Sam and Dean can forgive/understand him, even defend him - which over time they both have - then so can I.

      I don't see Dean as an adult asking John those kinds of questions, nup, those would be questions from his childhood, no way 20 something Dean would allow himself to be that vulnerable in front of his father. Look at him when he was 16. No way he'd let that guard down.

      We've only really seen nano seconds of their childhood so I don't write anything off that I don't know.

      Obviously the boys are going to have very different "relationships" with their mum, or the myth of their mum - due to their experiences as children. But Sam dreams of her, when Dean dreams of John. I think that speaks volumes.

      Let's agree to disagree and leave it at that now - because I see all these relationships and characters in a different light in relation to this, and no argument is going to change it! Thanks for he fun back and forth.

    6. Amy,

      You think this is an argument? I just thought we were chatting...I'm sorry you thought we were arguing, I didn't think the posts were harsh in nature to make you think that there was any animosity behind them. I just figured we were going back and forth .....I'm sorry but I thought you knew by my ramblings that when I say something I always try to go back and find proof for my reasons....that's why the back and forth...cuz if i'm called out on something, or I say something the wrong way and you guys call me out on that, i'll come back and explain where i'm coming from...I just don't say something...declare it so....and leave....I always try to make sense out of what i'm saying.....I don't do that to change anyone's opinions or head canon....I do that just to explain where I'm coming from....I guess in that way it feels more like a personal conversation instead of just a post....

      as for joho...I like him and he had his good moments and there is no doubt he did love his boys....but if I were a judge in a child custody case, I would've considered what john did to his children....endangerment. We are talking abandonment, instability, not to mention monsters....but worst of all, the self loathing issues that ea brother suffers from stems from John's treatment of them, most especially Dean's. As much as I know John loved them, as far as parenting went, not a very good one. On the plus side, because of John the boys have the relationship they have....and for that i'll love jw forever. LOL

    7. I didn't mean argument like arguing!! I meant argument like stating a case! Like in court- your were putting forward your argument! No I didn't think we were arguing, I thought we were discussing! I welcome the back and forth, even when we're miles apart.

      John has a lot to answer for with those boys, I don't deny it. But they, as adults who have experienced a very different world, John's world, and have had to make very hard and sometimes bad choices, both for themselves and for each other, have grown to understand John in a different way. I'll never forget Sam's words to young John:

      "He was trying. He died trying. Believe me. I used to be mad at him. I—I mean, I used to... I used to hate the guy. But now I—I... I get it. He was... just doing the best he could. And he was trying to keep it together in—in—in this impossible situation. See... My mom, um... She was amazing, beautiful, and she was the love of his life. And she got killed. And... I think he would have gone crazy if he didn't do something. Truth is, um, my dad died before I got to tell him that I understand why he did what he did. And I forgive him for what it did to us. I do. And I just—I love him."

      I don't agree with the way they were raised, there are times when I watch eps that John makes my blood boil, he damaged Dean in ways that will always be part of who Dean is - but then again, Dean is also magnificent because of those things - he became a better person than his dad because of many of the attributes that were born of what he had to deal with. These days I guess I take my cue from his boys as to how to judge John. I think there are a lot more memories to hear - and I hope that we hear them. I'm just thankful that out of all this tragedy, we were gifted Sam and Dean.

    8. Holy hell..i thought you were angry with me, thought about it at work all day, trying to figure out in what way did it feel like an argument for you cuz in all honesty that thought had never crossed my mind.

      You know what is ironic...sams understanding of john came around the same time dean was becoming more resentful of john. I think the way they think of their dad is dependent of how they are feeling. Sam became more forgiving and understanding after killing lilith and letting dean down..sam was trying to find a way to redeem himself and with that sam became more forgiving..especially of his dad....dean was in a bad place..getting closer and closer to saying yes to lmichael..dean had given up at this point, mostly in himself...this was about the time dean was more resentful when he spoke of his father...referring to him as a deadbeat dad at one the boys,dare i say it, are happy and finally accept who they are and what they now when they think of their dad they do so with less hostility and even with a bit of pride

  8. Ahhh! I'm so happy to have show back and your reviews back! Yay!

    I adore this episode! It had everything I wanted. That first scene with Dean and Mary was perfection even though I was crying right along with everyone else. I think my favorite thing about it was the amazing economy of words. Sam barely had any lines at all, and yet, every emotion, every fear, all the grief, everything he was thinking and feeling told its own story. No words needed. Jared was amazing. The scene with Mary, the car and the big discovery and realization from Dean. No words! Even Cas landing as he did and having a witness - very few words. He was on a mission. He wasn't going to explain anything. Just knock the guy out and take his truck. Boom! This ep was all about acting - showing the raw nerves, conveying it all through expression. It was stunning. It also showed the absolute trust there is between writer and cast. I'm not sure there's another show on tv where that sort of trust exists. We are so lucky! Makes me so happy.

    One of my favorite moments was also a silent one - and a simple one, but showed the significant bond between Dean and his mother - and that's when she walked up the stairs into the library. She's wearing very similar boots to Dean's, and she moved like him, crossing one foot over the other the way he does on so many occasions when he's moving quietly and with stealth. For a second, I even thought it was Dean and it confused me because he'd already gone off and I was all wait, where are we? And it was Mary and I thought oh! Look at that!!! I can't wait for more between the two of them and then when Sam sees her... Not sure I'll live through it, lol.

    It's so great to have our show back. I look forward to your reviews every single week and this one didn't disappoint! Thanks Amy!

    1. Ooooo I'm going to go watch again and check that out!

  9. Thanks for the wonderful review, it really expressed many of my own feelings and opinions about the episode. I was particularly pleased because I had concerns about the direction the show would go without Jeremy Carver and Robbie Thompson; however Andrew Dabb did a really outstanding job.