Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Supernatural And Me - A Supernatural Day Celebration

My first memory of Supernatural was seeing this promo on Channel 10. 

The day before the show kicked off in Australia, in January 2006, I had coffee with my friend Bettina. We’re both big TV watchers and we talked about the show and watching it the next night. We both checked it out and then compared notes. Bettina found it a bit too scary....I was hooked from the get go. I don't know what it was exactly, but something in this show struck a chord deep inside me and I instantly loved it. 

I watched Supernatural from that day on...on my own. never knew anyone who watched it! I patiently put up with Channel 10 starting a season, taking it off for few months, bringing it back again, changing the time before having it disappear for weeks on end. I kept an eye out and never missed it - no matter how much the network bumped it around! When the DVDs were released, I rushed to get them, so I could watch the show with some kind of consistency!

I became a Dean girl, before I even knew what a Dean girl was! But in truth, it was the Winchester brothers that bonded me heart and soul to this show. I love them. Everything about them. I simply loved Sam and Dean.

When Jensen came out here for the first ever All Hell Breaks Loose in 2009, someone I worked with was going to a Warner Bros function that Jensen was attending.  I was the only person at work who knew who Jensen Ackles was! In fact, I was the only person who knew what Supernatural was! I was like WHAT??????? 1. I didn't know Jensen - and Jared and Misha - was coming out. 2. It was Jensen Ackles! JENSEN ACKLES….who I was already silently lost to….

I asked my work colleague if he could get me an autograph. I quickly went online and printed out a photo on a piece of A4 paper and shoved it at him! “PLEASE GET JENSEN TO SIGN THIS FOR ME!!” He got me the autograph. That was my first autograph from Jensen. I still have it.

Tragically I couldn't go to that first All Hell Breaks Loose convention, and I was heartbroken; I was going up to visit family in Queensland, so that was that. But I was determined, if there was another one, I’d be there! 

Meanwhile, I kept on watching the show...without knowing anyone else who watched it! 

It was about this time, out of a hunger to share my passion, that I discovered the CW forums. I discovered that there were loads of people who watched the show and were as dedicated as me! That there were people who also wanted to talk about the show, that they had theories and ideas - just like me! The CW forums were a bit of an odd place to be honest - but it was my first foray into reading other fan's thoughts on Supernatural, and though I didn’t usually join in, I did lurk and read and absorb, and I started to feel part of something bigger.

About this time, I also started playing in the old Supernatural Facebook group, and it was there that I made my first fandom friends. 

One boring Saturday night I was playing guess that Dean quote in the group, when the few of us that were online realised we were all Aussies! We started chatting and eventually got kicked off the site for having a massive conversation in the middle of the quiz! We all made friends on Facebook and started chatting there. Then more friends were made, some from Australia, some from the U.S.. I’d found people to talk to about this thing I loved more and more each day! It was amazeballs! Then, someone suggested we move to Twitter, as there were more fans there, and one of the cast members - Misha Collins - was now on Twitter and apparently he was pretty funny!

It was on Twitter that my world exploded.

On Twitter I not only found fellow Supernatural fans, but fellow TV fans, fellow movie fans, fellow horror fans, genre fans, people who actually dug the same things I did! I’d always loved SciFi and horror. I was raised on Doctor Who. I loved ghost stories and scary movies and Star Wars! But I was pretty much the only person I knew who did! Until Twitter. Until I met what would eventually become, my Supernatural family. 

On Twitter I met friends who wrote about the show and I started following their blogs. I started writing comments each week, voicing my ideas and theories. My comments got longer and longer, and in the end two of my friends, Tiny and Kara, convinced to start my own blog. So on the day before the 100th episode of Supernatural went to air,  sweetondean was born. 

I’d forgotten how much I loved writing. I used to do a lot of it, but as life got in the way, I’d stopped. Now because of the show, I was writing again. 

I started writing up the episodes each week - I think like 10 people read what I was writing! But I was getting my thoughts down and out, and being creatively stimulated all at the same time. It was a revelation!

In 2010 there was a second All Hell Breaks Loose Supernatural convention in Sydney, and I went. The Js didn’t come out and I was desperately disappointed… But I met Misha, Jim, Rob, Julie and Sam Ferris - and a whole bunch of new friends - all of whom are still my friends! This was my first con, and it was fantastic! I couldn't believe how fun it was, and how fun it was to share in something with a whole lot of people that loved it too!

One of my Aussie friends, Jo, went to LACon in 2010 and told me how awesome it was. So when it became clear that I was never going to meet Jensen and Jared in Australia, I decided to go to LACon in 2011. It was going to be a one off. Just once. Just so I could see the boys. Just so I could see Jensen. A one time thing. I booked a Gold ticket. I watched vids online. I read convention reports to prepare for my one and only U.S. con. Pfft!

When I heard that there were meet and greets, I decided to go for Jensen’s. I put my bid on, and watched it obsessively. In the day before the auction ended, it just kept going up and up and up! I kept increasing my bid. I thought I was covered. At 4am I woke up to watch it end….and watched my dream disappear…because of $1. That year Jensen’s meet and greet went for $801. My bid was $800. I. Was. Devastated.

It was about this time that my one and only con idea went out the window!

I booked Chicago con for later in the year with one of my online friends, Sue. I was going to damn well get that meet and greet!

A few weeks out from LACon, Creation announced that Jensen would be doing a jam session with his friend Jason Manns. I had already acquired a CD copy of Crazy Love from Jason (who sent me a bunch of other CDs because he’s lovely), and I’d seen Jensen singing online - The Weight at JIB, and with Jason at Asylum online, and. I really, really wanted to go to the jam session…so bad!

All of a sudden, people were messaging me and saying that if I need a loan, if I needed help to buy a ticket they would lend me the money. People I barely knew, people I only knew online, offering to help me because they knew how heartbroken I’d been over missing out on Jensen's meet and greet! This was the first time I experienced the generous and caring nature of the Supernatural Family. I would soon learn, this was who they were.

As it was, because I didn’t get the meet and greet, I could afford the jam session. I guess it was kismet after all. It was an auction. 30 tickets. I bid…using my learnings from my last foray into the world of the Creation auction, and I won a ticket!

That jam session would totally and utterly transform my world.

I went to LACon in 2011. I met a whole lot of friends there that I knew from online. Like my friend Bianca, who was my Rhino Challenge team mate. My friend Jo’s (who couldn’t go last minute), friends Terri and Paige, who are now two of my best friends, a whole mob of Aussies, and…my sister from another mister, Hazel.

Hazel and I had connected on the LACon Facebook site about 2 weeks out from the con when we both found we had tickets to Jensen’s jam. We met the night before the con started and became instant friends. When we had to draw seat numbers out of a lucky dip for the jam session, we actually drew out seats next to each other! Can you believe it?! It was meant to be. 

We became firm friends. She ended up coming to Chicago con too, and over the last 5 years we've travelled the States, chasing Js hugs and R2 hug and good times and frozen cocktails and tattoos and adventures, all via the Supernatural convention circuit.

LACon was amazing and completely transformative. From Pizza with fangirls - watching the show in our hotel room on the Friday night, to the concert with Brian Buckley - where I first clapped eyes on Jared and realised he’s a damn golden god! Holy cow! To the dessert party and teasing Misha and waiting forever for Mark to get to our table as we ate chocolate moose at midnight. Every second was brilliant…all made even more brilliant because of my new friends.

Then came the Sunday. 

When Jensen walked into that breakfast room on the Sunday morning, it was all over for me. I was forever lost. I could barely breath…. Years….years of sitting at home falling in love with Dean Winchester, and then Jensen Ackles…quietly...on my own…no one to share my love with. Now here I was with Jensen right in front of me! I had to try real hard not to cry. There was nothing I could do about the shaking!

My first photo op with Jensen, I could barely get any words out - but he was so sweet, and gracious, and so damn beautiful, my gosh he was beautiful. More beautiful than I could have ever imagined. I later came to understand, that beauty shone out from his beautiful heart, and that this man would become one of the most important people in my life.

I think I floated that Sunday - I don’t think my feet hit the ground once! I remember having a photo op with my friend Tiny - and we literally did a jump for joy as we left the room!

It was a day full of the most wonderful moments with Jensen and Jared and Jim and Misha and Rich and all the cast members I shared the day with, and all the friends I shared photos and precious memories with. 

Then then whole thing culminated in the jam session. 

It was sitting in that room, next to Hazel, listening to Jensen sing, that I realised, something had shifted in me that weekend… 

I remember walking out of Jensen’s jam, with Hazel and Terri and all of us just crying. It was raw and intimate  and truly amazing…but it was more than that…I felt happier than I had in a really long time - I felt like I was me, and it was okay to be me, because I was amongst people who got me. No more trying to be who I thought everyone wanted me to be, who I thought everyone thought I should be…I could be myself in this place with these people, and it was cool.

I never looked back. After LACon, I was a different person...and I liked me better for it.

This show, these conventions, Jensen and Jared, the friends I've made and the people I've met, have changed my life forever.

My one off Supernatural convention has turned into 13 Creation conventions and counting, plus every Australian Supernatural convention, and multi-fandom convention that feature Supernatural guests.

My lone Supernatural watching has morphed into watching the show with a whole family from all over the world. Passionately sharing our excitement as this magnificent story unfolds and takes us on this crazy ride.

My passion for Sam and Dean has turned into a love for Jared and Jensen, built on incredible memories, and respect, and understanding, and hugs and fun, and a feeling that they are more than just actors in my favourite show, they are my family.

My overly long comments transformed into previews, reviews, theory pieces, convention reports, thousands and thousands and thousands of words written about this show I love. I have written up the show since season 5 episode 18. I have helped run Winchester Daily, I have been a writer and an admin for The Winchester Family Business, and now I have my own website, sweetondean where I share writing duties with the talented Anna, and guest writers who continue to share their stories and passion with us all.

My love of creative writing was rediscovered through fan fiction. 

My love of photography was rediscovered through the conventions. 

My love of painting was rediscovered through fan art.

My desperate need to talk about the show became a podcast.

I have friends in every corner of the globe. People who reached out to me in my saddest time and lifted me up, helping me through the sorrow and bringing me out the other side a stronger person.

I have a whole family of people who understand me and who accept me for who I am.

I have a better acceptance of myself.

My life is bigger and crazier and weirder and wilder and more creative than I could ever have thought it would be.

All because of Supernatural....

I love this little show that could. I love this amazing story. I love Sam and Dean. I love Jensen and Jared and Misha and this beautiful cast who embrace us like friends. I love our wonderful crew who share their work with us. And I love my Supernatural family who offer me friendship and somehow make me a better person.

Happy Supernatural Day guys - thanks for making my world awesome 



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  2. ..and of course I teared up.
    Happy Supernatural Day to you too, Amy

  3. What a cool story! Love your blog and your reviews. Cant wait for the new season :-)

  4. I follow you on Twitter, and I read every article you write. It's because of people like you and Lynn from Fangasm, that I can experience a little bit of what it is like to go to a convention. I might never go in person, but I have a real understanding of what goes on there, because you take the time to share it with me. I just wanted to say thanks.

  5. This made me cry, it is such a tribute to the transformative power of one little show and the family it spawned!

  6. "I could be myself in this place with these people, and it was cool."
    Amen to that, Amy....
    That's probably the change so, so many of us have experienced through this show. I know it happened for me and many of the people I come to think of as my chosen family now.
    Happy Supernatural Day!

  7. Thank you Amy for sharing your story ♡

  8. Thank you Amy for sharing your story ♡

  9. I know I'm a bit late but Happy Supernatural Day Amy!! I have watched Supernatural from the start and I never miss an episode! I originally noticed Supernatural because of Jensen, I had watched and loved him on Dark Angel and Smallville! So when I started watching I was drawn in by the amazing acting chemistry between Jensen and Jared, who I didn't know. From that day on I have loved these amazing brothers and this amazing show. My brother jokes that I'm obsessed and I only talk about Supernatural and the boys but as I say these guys are my happy place. As a Aussie girl, I love to read your reviews and reports and your page is the only one I will post on. Thank you Amy for all that you do!!

  10. Thanks for sharing Amy.

    I too was hooked to this show by a promo during Smallville these 12 years ago. It totally explained why Jensen's character Jason went from being such a nice guy to an evil d-bag....Jensen was headed for bigger & better. Admittedly I started watching because I found the boys utterly gorgeous during the promo...I don't even think I remember what the show was about...all I remember was how beautiful these two were and that was enough for me.

    It was the love these boys have for each other that kept me watching all these years. It's this love that has become an inspiration as well. I too was a lurker way back when. I had joined the site. I just mostly read people's thoughts...til one day I took the plunge myself. Of course my posts weren't just posts, they were insights & theories into the Winchester boys...and then to even what I always believed to be the bigger I would connect each season & see one big story. What was incredible to me was that whether they thought I was off my nut or interested in what I had to say, people actually took their precious time out of their day to read my thoughts....this made me feel connected...part of something...I felt proud to be part of this not so private club, especially given I didn't really participate in anything during my school years.

    I started out & still am bi bro...Love the boys...our boys...but I will admit that Jared and thus Sam truly stole my heart. It happened when I went to the first Chi Con back in the day. Sam Ferris was there. Fred Lehne was there and of course Jared & Jensen. Jared & Jensen are gorgeous in person. Jared is so tall and so damn stunning. Jensen is so much more dainty then Dean. I remember thinking how much smaller he seemed....not shorter, he's tall, but smaller....and oh so pretty.

    It was different then. First there was the Jared Panel. Then the Jensen Panel. Then there was the J2 panel. Jared went first. He was Magic. He was bubbly and chatty and talked to us as though he knew us all personally for years. He laughed & joked and was honest and funny. My mouth hurt from smiling during his panel & I felt like part of a family. It was such an amazing feeling.

    Jensen was next. He was very nice, but so nervous. He was stiff when he stood and answered the questions politely but kind of like he was in an interview. I felt so bad for him, like he so needed a hug. He wasn't know when you have to go to your grandma's house and there's a certain way you have to behave...not like you can at felt like Jensen felt like he was at his grandma's house.

    Then something incredible happened and I promise you this aint no exaggeration. Towards the end of Jensen's panel, Jared came out...and that's when the magic happened. Jensen smiled from ear to ear. His body totally relaxed and he just opened up like a faucet....because he was no longer talking to us at this point, he was talking and reacting to Jared. It was so beautiful. It was the moment I became a Jared/Sam girl in my heart.

    It was at that moment I witnessed the true brotherly bond between these two boys. This bond that has grown along with them. This bond that has not only made this show what it is, but that has helped to form a family that simply don't end in blood.

    1. Jensen did seem shy and reserved in early appearances. The first commentary J&J did on the season 1 DVD, Phantom Traveller, I believe, Jared talks and talks. I kept waiting for Jensen to finally say something.