Review - Supernatural 8.06 "Southern Comfort"

Ouch. That smarts. This episode made my stomach hurt. Then I realised I’d eaten a whole box of Anzac cookies out of nerves! So maybe the tummy ache was too much sugar. But the heartache was certainly Winchestery.

I’m not much of a fan of Adam Glass, he’s a patchy writer whom for me, has seldom delivered and consequently, I have little faith in him. Garth is a character that I've not been enamoured with. He's been too clownish and two-dimensional. He's been comic relief and I wasn’t interested in him in any way in either of the episodes he was featured in (neither of which I particularly liked). But, both of these things changed with “Southern Comfort”.

For once I think Adam Glass got a good deal right. It wasn’t perfect, there was a little too much procedural goings on for my liking, the spectre story at the centre was a little….meh and rather heavy handed in its parallel between the Winchester brothers and the two waring brothers on opposing sides of the civil war, but then, the spectre story wasn’t the real story was it? The brother stuff, which I feel Glass has failed abysmally at in the past, was what elevated this episode and had me, well, eating too many cookies out of angst! I found the brother stuff to be right on the money.

Garth. Garth was a little breath of fresh air. I liked his sincere attempts to emulate a man he obviously loved and respected. That he stepped in to fill a roll, left empty by the death of Bobby, in support of his hunter community. He got a lot wrong. I laughed every time Dean corrected him. That’s not how you wear the hat, say balls, use idjit. But in the end, I think Dean saw that where Garth was coming from, was honest and heartfelt and he wasn’t trying to replace a man that Sam and Dean care about and miss deeply. This Garth can come back, not too often, but I’d be cool if we saw him again this season. He’s smart and sensible, sweet and perceptive, gives good advice and is so trouble free that he could pick up that penny. That was my very favourite part. Oh, and he’s a hugger. Naww.

So yeah, I enjoyed this episode a lot more than I expected to. I was very pleasantly surprised to say the least. For me it continued what I think is an epically good run of strong episodes and a rocking start to season 8. It was as painful as hell in parts, but it was that good pain that I kind of like, because I’m weird like that.

So let’s get to it huh? Those ghost hunting bros….

It makes my proud of this show that 8 seasons in, I can still get so upset over the emotional struggles of Sam and Dean Winchester. That I’m that invested. That I’m still there with them, exploring their relationship, their issues past and present, their individual characters and the differences between them. That they can still infuriate me to the point of very bad language, but that I can still see through my frustrations to their love and to my love of them. Both of them. It’s got to a point that they pretty much need a Sherpa to carry their baggage, but I’m willing to help them lug it and hopefully watch them unpack it and toss some stuff out as the season progresses. Geesh, I think I over did that analogy!

I’ve been waiting for this blow-up…for a few seasons actually. It was TIME! There’s been so much unsaid and shoved down deep between the brothers. There’s so much they haven’t dealt with and all of that crap is affecting what’s happening in their world right now. Neither has told the other much about their year apart, even if they think they have, so they’re both in the dark and muddling their way through this latest murky emotional terrain and doing a piss poor job of it I might add!

Sam says to Dean that he’s been straight up with him from the jump and told him why he didn’t look for him. But has he? Has he really? No. He told Dean he found something, something he's never had before, which to Dean means I found something better and I chose that over you. I’m not saying in any way that’s how Sam feels, you all know my ideas around Sam this season, lord knows I’ve pontificated enough on the matter, but Dean is a bundle of insecurity who has always felt like everyone leaves him and that he’s not worthy of love. John Winchester has a lot to answer for (I really must get on that new thread about him). Even right back in “Skin”, the shifter inhabiting Dean’s fine form said, “Sooner or later everybody’s gonna leave me.” I don’t think Dean’s thinking on this has changed. I think he’s still terrified Sam will leave him. So Sam saying, “I found something” doesn’t cut the mustard. What he should be saying is what he said to Amelia, “It felt like my world imploded and came raining down on me and I ran.” This is what Dean needs to hear. This and more. I applaud Sam for reminding Dean of Amelia’s name, I think that was all about stopping Dean calling her, "a girl", she was more important to Sam than just "a girl" and I'm glad that he told Dean that they'd lived together. Good. That’s a start. But that’s still not letting Dean know that HE was missed and that it messed with Sam’s head. That’s what Dean needs right now. He needs that reassurance that he’s still important to Sam and that he wasn’t forgotten, simply left behind or replaced.

I’m not just picking on Sam. Dean hasn’t told Sam anything about his year either, so how’s Sam supposed to understand. It’s bitchy to say “I highly doubt you get anything about Purgatory” when you haven’t offered anything. But I get that, it’s Hell all over again and who wants to rehash that kind of pain, but Benny is another issue. He hasn’t told Sam why he’s friends with Benny. He hasn’t told him Benny saved his skin more than once, or that he also saved Castiel. He’s said he wouldn’t be topside without Benny, but he hasn’t explained the hows and whys. Sam’s been open to monsters being friendlies before, right back to season 2’s Lenore, so it’s not like if it was all lain out for him, he wouldn’t be open to it.

Dean’s tirade under the influence of the spectre lacked resonance for me because it was just that, under the influence of the spectre. Bummer. The spectre caused white-hot rage, so we don’t know to what level his feelings were enhanced. I don’t doubt that Dean still has issues around the whole Ruby thing and Sam being back for a year without telling him thing…though I think any anger over anything Sam did when soulless needs to be let go of immediately, even if the hurt can’t be. I think these are things we all know he's hung on to, but do I think that he believes what he said about Benny being a better brother than Sam ever was? Absolutely not, he's just super mad now at Sam for the whole not looking for him thing and this is how that's coming out. He's seeing Benny as having his back for the past year and Sam not and those feelings were released under the influence of the spectre. I think Sam has proven his love for Dean, just as Dean has proven his love for Sam and I think they're still proving it. In the past, they've both been there for each other over and over. The fact that Dean is so hurt by Sam’s actions while Dean was in Purgatory, proves how important Sam and Sam’s love is to him. This kind of anger is born of love. The worst and truly hurtful arguments are ones you have with those you love most. I don’t think Dean would say any of that stuff if he wasn’t possessed by a spirit or something – whether that’s good or bad I can’t decide. It’s a bit sad that he needs to have that kind of push to open up I guess. But then as I said, we can’t be sure to the level of amplification of those emotions. Obviously they're there, but are they there to that extent? I mean, Mrs Lew was pretty surprised her husband's highschool fling was brought up all these years down the track. I'm not sure that the feelings that made her kill her husband were feelings she was even aware of. Are we to believe that her resentment of Ms Allcott outweighs the love she feels for her husband after 34 years of marriage? Hmmm. The spectre grabbed on to your resentment, obliterating everything else. The resentments are there, but so is the love and other feelings, it's just under the spectre's influences only the resentment can be felt. At least that's my take on it. So though there's truth to the feelings, they're not the only feelings, just the only one's that can be felt while possessed. It's the big, a penny for your thoughts thing right? And I guess maybe, the penny dropped. 

Next time Dean get's a chance to lay it on the line, I’m hoping it just comes from inside him with all his emotions intact, so he can at least say his piece rationally and not because of some supernatural influence that highlights just one side.

So, though all sorts of other crappy issues were raised up by that damn penny, the two that are at the heart of the matter are the two from this season and it’s the brother’s lack of sharing of their individual experiences that has got them to this point. I think, when you look at both of these issues, it may boil down to one thing for both brothers, Sam feels Dean is choosing Benny over Sam, Dean feels Sam chose a girl over Dean. Dean has issues around abandonment and his own self worth and Sam’s always worried his brother couldn’t love him and would only see him as a monster because of his demon blood. It’s not about jealousy it’s about insecurities and I think both the brothers are currently playing into each other’s dysfunctions astoundingly well. Nice job boys.

For me the only bit that really irked me was right at the end of the brother’s fight outside. Sam had every right to tell Dean to stop rubbing his face in “the year off” and get off his “high and mighty.” Dean was continually getting in his little jibes and that can get old real quick, but Dean said, “Ok, I hear you” and it should have ended there. But Sam had to say that line about Benny and flare the whole fight right back up again. I literally yelled at my TV. I know he was hurt and over it and drawing a line in the sand and all, but It was just…ugh. If he really needed to say it, he probably could have framed it better. Dean said he killed Amy because he knew Sam couldn’t. Whether that’s true or not, I’ve long ago stopped caring. Amy had killed, four times that they know of and Dean put her down and he says it’s because Sam couldn’t. Fine. If Sam had not phrased his statement about killing Benny through narky anger, maybe it would have been taken in a different way. He could have said, “Ok I get it, if he messes up, you won’t be able to kill him, so if it comes to it, I will.”  But you know what, no, because in reality, he should have just left that one at Dean’s “Ok, I hear you” and given Dean a chance to prove that maybe he did hear Sam instead of throwing Benny all up in Dean’s face again. It was like; I gotta get in the final word. I don’t care how frustrated he is with his brother, to me that undermined everything Sam said to Dean prior to that. I think Sam’s way more of an emotional mess than Dean at this point and he’s way more angry. To be honest, outside of Dean's rehashing of stuff while being inhabited by the spectre, I'm kind of at a loss why Sam is quite as angry as he is. I get why Dean is up in arms, but surely the Benny friendship is not the worst thing that Dean's ever done. It seems odd for Sam to not at least have a little leeway with that one. He just seems angrier about it than he should be. I guess it's more about the lie, I think that's why he was angry about Amy, more the lie than the act, or maybe Dean was right, maybe he does blame Dean for dragging him back to the life…if not the first time around, maybe he does this time around. 

This fracking Amy thing man. When will it end. The only good thing about it is that at the end of all this, I’ll be able edit together all the uses of the name Amy and make it into my ringtone! Silver lining.

Neither of the brothers is a saint and neither is sin free. I don’t point the blame at either of them for past choices and by the way, I loved that that word was used in this episode, “Choices.” They live in an extreme world and they can’t always make the right call. They are very different individuals who have always approached things from different angles and who have always wanted different things. Their flaws, of which they both have plenty, is what makes them so very beautiful. It’s because of their flaws we love them more right? 

The bottom line here is about communication and they’ve always been shite at it. Obviously nothing’s changed but then, how much do we really change once we get to a certain age and who ever really tells the complete truth to family members, or is that just me? Who amongst us hasn’t omitted something because we know someone isn’t going to like it, or it’s going to hurt them, or change how they see us, so we bury it? These guys are like everyone else as far as I can see, it’s just, this is a TV show, so it's amped up!

I don’t mind the conflict if I feel it can help them move forward. I wish Dean had remembered what he said, but then, he could always get Garth on the blower and ask him, though Dean being Dean, I think he’d rather forget. I don’t think this is the last of this kind of ‘conversation’ they’ll have, I don’t think it’s going to be put on the back burner, I think this is the first step in bringing these guys to a more healthy, grown up place, towards accepting each other’s choices, mistakes and differences. I think we’ll see more of this before it gets better. It feels like it’s just the start. It feels like this is the first chapter. Let’s just keep airing those grievances boys, though I better make sure I’m stocked up on cookies!

If I could sit these two in a room, this is what I’d say…

Dean, you need to let this stuff go. Yes, you’ve been hurt, yes you’ve been disappointed in the past by Sam’s actions, but your brother is still here by your side and he obviously loves you, so why don’t you look at that, instead of everything else.

If you want to know why he took a year off, why he didn’t look for you and he’s not opening up, damn well make him. Say, “Ok Sam, explain it to me, tell me what happened.” Then…LISTEN. If Sam doesn’t want to tell you, well then, you have every right to be pissed, but instead of just feeling abandoned and angry, ask him….maybe you’ll understand, maybe you won’t, but you’ll never have a hope in hell of understanding unless you hear the story and if Sam’s not going to offer more than he has off his own bat, then you’re going to have to ask him to open up. 

While you’re at it, tell Sam about Purgatory, tell him all the stuff he doesn’t know. That you were alone and on the run from every monster in the place until you met Benny. That the vampire saved your hide more than once, that you might not have survived without him, that you’d never have made it out without his help. But beyond that, he proved to be loyal to you, even looking out for Castiel. That Benny was a friend to you when you were in desperate need of one. That yeah, it’s weird that you’re pals with a vampire, you get why Sam’s baffled and mad, that it seems like double standards, but Benny opened your eyes to the possibility that not all monsters are evil, everything isn’t black and white and that Sam should be happy that you’re learning that lesson. If Sam still doesn’t understand or still won’t try to understand, you have every right to shut down on the subject….but if you don’t at least try and explain it, well you don’t have a leg to stand on against Sam’s confusion and fury. Maybe you’ll get through to him….you won’t know unless you try and he won’t understand unless you explain it. (PS....you're smokin' hot...whatchya doing later).

Sam, I know you were devastated by the loss of your brother, but Dean doesn’t. All you’ve told him is that you found something and it was a girl. All he’s hearing is you found something better. You know your brother. You know his insecurities. You know he fears that everyone will leave him. You know that that’s how he’s seeing this. Right or wrong, that’s who he is and after all this time, you should know that. So, don’t just tell your girlfriend, tell your brother that your world imploded on itself and rained down on you when you lost him. Tell him how you felt, tell him you ran, you were lost, you didn’t know what to do. Tell him about how meeting a kindred spirit helped you find your way back to the world, that with her, you no longer felt scared every day. That you understand Dean’s hurt, but you just couldn’t see the hand in front of your face for a good long while. Dean loves you above anything else, maybe he’ll see the pain that his disappearance caused and it’ll help him understand your state of mind and the choice you made. But you HAVE TO TELL HIM. You haven’t. 

And stop threatening to walk away, because that’s just freaking Dean out even more. You have every right to want something else and I get that you want Dean to understand and appreciate that and be prepared for the possibility that you won’t always be riding shotgun with him, but by threatening to leave him out of anger, you just exasperate an already volatile situation. Those threats just validate Dean’s fears of not being loved enough, of not being needed enough. You’re a bright and empathetic boy; use that big brain of yours. (PS...do you think I've got a shot with your brother).

Sam and Dean, you boys, you’ve been through more than should be asked of any human being and you’ve been through it TOGETHER. You obviously love each other deeply; otherwise you wouldn’t be able to push each other’s buttons so effectively. But you’ve never, ever been able to really talk. Here and there, little pieces have leaked out and been shared, but by and large, you bury everything until it explodes outward. You can’t expect your brother to understand how you’re feeling if you don’t tell him. You can just say, “He’s my friend” or “I found something” and expect your brother to understand unless you give these statements context, history and reason. Just….be the amazing men I know you to be, be the brothers I know you are. Tell each other the full story, because only then can you be justified in having any expectations that your brother should or could give you some slack and empathy. But above all, stop the lip service when it comes to each other’s choices. If you don’t “get it” don’t say it, if you don’t forgive, don’t say it. Everything rings hollow when you say one thing, then say another in anger. Stop it. And please, truly forgive each other, you both deserve it. 

Now get out of here and go be awesome. Idjits.

I’m confusing reality with “Supernatural” again aren’t I?

(By the way, I love that photo of them in the diner. Look at their elbows. They're touching. Now, I know logicially this is because Jensen and Jared are big units and they need to squish in close to both fit in frame, but the forgetting that part of me goes, if I was hating on my brother, I wouldn't be sitting that close to him! Reality/Supernatural.... yeah I know).

We really are in a spot of bother with these two aren't we…but I kind of like it. Don’t hate!

I guess my biggest fear is where this is going, that both boys will be forced to make a choice, though me being me, I’m confident that they'll choose each other. It might look a bit touch and go for a while, but ultimately Dean will always choose Sam and Sam will always choose Dean. Just call me sweetondean, the eternal optimist.

So I dug this episode a lot more than I thought I would. It was hurty goodness. I enjoyed, if that’s the right word, all the brother’s angsty scenes. I’m glad they’re starting to get some stuff out. Sam has finally lain out how pissed off he is to Dean. Dean, unknowingly, let Sam know that his choices have affected and continue to affect Dean. Maybe something clicked in one of them, even in just one, that’d be a step in the right direction. I even got a bit more of a sense of what drew Sam to Amelia. It was the conflict scenes that had me though. The final scenes of the last two episodes have been absolute corkers. It’s good stuff.

So what did you think? What’s next?

Until next time just remember, we’re “Supernatural” fans, we’re Tonka Tough!

Now hurry up next episode!

Thanks for reading!
-sweetondean

sweetondean is Chief Editor and Staff Writer for The Winchester Family Business

My Dean Winchester bust!

So here’s my Dean bust that I bought as part of the Winchester Bros charity auction.

Jensen signed it to me and then it was sent to me here in Australia from set, with the sender address being Clif Kosterman c/- Supernatural Films.

The money from this auction purchase went to Team Levi.

I think it’s pretty cool! Plus it’s the first thing I have signed from Jensen where he’s actually written my name! Which makes me happier than is probably rational…..

The bust with Jensen's signature

My name in Jensen's handwriting!

From a different angle - it's pretty cool and even has the crease in his bottom lip!

Here's a shot of Jensen signing the items.

You can see the Dean bust - plus a stick-it with my name (circled in red!)

-sweetondean

Review - Supernatural 8.05 "Blood Brother"

I have a confession…I’m as much a fan of Ben Edlund as I am anyone else associated with this show. This is not to say I have pictures of him around my room, I don’t…but I’m not adverse to the idea. Would I like to meet him? Yes. Have a photo with him? Yes. Spend some time in a panel with him? Hellz yes! Have my favourite quote from my favourite episode of his tattooed on my arm…erm…yes, actually, that one’s done and dusted. Ben is a creative individual. A writer and an artist with a mind that darts and leaps from one idea to the next, sometimes making it back to finish a thought, sometimes not. He inspires me in my creative endeavours and makes me want to be better at what I do. Whether it’s trying to write a novel, writing these reviews, writing a 30 second script or telling a story with pictures to try and get an audience to tune into a movie or a show. Creative people inspire my creativity and Ben is one hell of a creative. So yeah, I like his scripts. If we add into that Guy Bee, who as a seasoned TV director is very good at story telling, accompanied with inventive yet unobtrusive camera work and a knack for action, you have a duo that seldom misses a beat. And that’s just what we got with “Blood Brother”. The other wonderful thing about these two is their understanding that you can tell a story without words, that not everything has to be laid out in dialogue and a lot of what isn’t said fills the gaps for what is. They also have an innate appreciation of the talent of the actors performing their scenes and their ability to deliver. They simply let them do the work.

“Blood Brother” was an excellent example of a finely tuned “Supernatural” episode. A story that never stopped moving, developed the arc central to the key relationships and gave us a nuanced character study that informed us of the headspace these characters are currently living in.

We got quite a few flashbacks in “Blood Brother” and for me these have been the most seamlessly integrated of the season so far. The first flashback to Purgatory was simply stunning. The ramping of the slomos, the black and white flash transitions, the eerie whistling. It felt like a fractured memory. It was nicely shot and beautifully edited. The edit on that initial Purgatory flashback was masterful.

These flashbacks to Dean’s time in Purgatory helped us to understand his relationship with Benny and why he stands by him so steadfast. Benny proved himself in battle, not just by looking out for Dean’s back, but also Dean’s friend Castiel. He saved Castiel and I suspect that happened more than once and this was even though he knew the Angel drew the monsters and even though he knew Dean and his chances of making it out alive, were lessened by the presence of the Angel. This would have gone a long way with Dean. Loyalty is very important to him. He’s not leaving his Angel friend behind and now he’s seen a monster, which you could tell he was still treading somewhat carefully around, also pledging his loyalty to Dean by this act of friendship to Castiel.

One of my favourite moments in the Purgatory scenes was when Dean, exasperated, tried to make peace between Benny and Cass. Who else found themselves thinking of a similar moment when Dean tried to make peace between Sam and John? It seems no matter what Dean goes through and no matter where he finds himself those traits remain. I’ve always got the sense that he simply can’t handle it when the people he cares about don’t get on. It all boils down to his need for a family, in whatever form that takes. He doesn’t want them to fight, he has so few people, he needs them all to get on, because he wants them to be around him. It was an amusing scene but it kind of made me sad, because I thought, geesh this never ends for him.

It was great to see Cass being Cass once again. Smiting like a ninja, making off the wall (yet relevant) comments about the metaphysics of Purgatory and not getting the Aunt joke. I’m thankful that crazy, comic relief Castiel seems to be a thing of the past. He was always most amusing and endearing when he was funny in spite of himself. Not because he was saying or doing something funny, but because he wasn’t and yet still was. He’s an Angel. I feel like he should be treated with a degree of respect. I never liked the drinking a liquour store or the kissing Meg…it just seemed, forced. By simply not understanding the reference, you’re reminded who he is and what he is without making him seem less, if you know what I mean. I hope that when he’s back in the land of the living again, this Cass remains. I liked Purgatory Cass. I’m looking forward to finding out why he never made it out with Benny and Dean.

Benny of course was right, Dean could have dumped his soul in any grave, or in a bin, or a river, or a drain or whatever really, but that wouldn’t be Dean. Monster or otherwise, he made a promise to someone who became a friend and he loyally followed through on it. Like Benny said “You and that whole friend thing, man.” It’s one of my favourite Dean traits, that loyalty, that heart and I’m so happy to see, no matter what he goes through, no matter how much he’s hurting, that remains intact.

His friend needed him and he went to his side. Should he have told Sam? Yeah of course. Would he? No, of course not! The brothers are great at keeping secrets from each other. Let’s not forget, they were raised to keep secrets. But it’s more about knowing each other so well that they know the other will be pissed and they don’t want to face that or deal with that. It’s true for both of them, not just Dean. Both are guilty of sweeping something under a rug rather than bring it out into the open. It’s easier to do that, than face the ire of your brother and probably the fact that you’re definitely wrong and have to slog it out with someone who knows you better than you know yourself. As hair-pulingly frustrating as that is for us, it always amuses me because avoiding confrontation is such a human thing to do and the brothers are experts at it, even though it always bites them in the ass.

I liked seeing Dean’s friendship with Benny. That there really is a sense of camaraderie and not just duty when it comes to this unlikely ally. Benny doesn’t get Dean’s humour anymore than anyone else. The whole Vampirates thing was fantastic. “It’s like the third thing you say.” “No…it isn’t.” Dean’s face! No one gets Dean’s humour! (It’s ok Dean we get it and love you for it). I also thought, Dean is spouting off stuff about the Zone Diet and Fabio and I’m quite sure Benny has no idea about any of that either, but he didn’t flinch, that made me like him even more. Everyone just kind of tolerates Dean’s bizarre pop culture references. Oh and Dean pocketing the money…looking over his shoulder. Bless! Little moments like that were priceless. And I need to say…Dean in the vampire's nest, was BAD ASS! Oh gosh….I know he has issues and I know part of his gruffness and inability to deal with anything is all part and parcel of his time in Purgatory and it’s not healthy and all that, but give me this Dean any old day. Sure he needs balance….but oh my, Dean wielding that knife is one sexy mo-fo.

I think it was no coincidence that the conversation about Benny’s history happened in the Impala. It’s also no coincidence that Benny’s story parallels Sam’s as well as Sam and Dean’s. ‘Born’ into a family where you didn’t question the life, with a father who ran the ship with an iron fist, who kept his family together but apart from the rest of the world.  Who does that sound like? Benny was part of this life until he met a woman, until he found “it”. This could be Sam’s story with Jess, but it could also as easily be Sam’s story with Amelia. In the Impala is probably where Dean hears the best. Whether it’s the familiar surrounds or what, but that car has experienced some of the most profound conversations of Sam and Dean’s life, so to have Benny relay this very familiar story in this environment, hopefully will spark something in Dean to make him think. Dean can be a great listener, but only when it’s something he wants to hear, because if it’s too painful for him to think about, like Sam wanting to move on, which to Dean means Sam not wanting him, he’s just not going to hear it until he’s made to hear it.

Of course the other possible parallel to Sam was Benny’s memory of Andrea. He remembered their love; he remembered their romance, who they were together. He had romanticised her and it helped him get through Purgatory. He thought she was dead, but she wasn’t. She was a monster now too. Those sunny memories of happiness and love were just that, memories. He couldn’t go back, that life didn’t exist anymore. I wonder if this is foreshadowing what’s to come for Sam, what he must face and what he’ll eventually realise? I wonder if this is why Sam’s flashbacks are golden and shiny.

I adored Sam’s flashbacks in this episode. I loved to see how he was trying to get by, being a handyman and even though he was so alone, he was still Sam, paying attention to people, making a point of getting to know the kid at the hotel. He’s always been great with people. Where his brother is the slightly abrasive one, Sam’s the empathetic one, the one who connects…though Dean’s pretty good when it comes to connecting with a chick. He knows how to work it then.

I've read that some people think Sam is being written unsympathetically this season, but I don't see it like that. This is probably the most sympathetic I’ve felt for Sam in a long time. Now, before you rip me a new one, I’m not saying I haven’t been sympathetic towards Sam in the past, I have, as much as you all see me as a rampant Dean girl, I love Sam too, but this is the first time in a long time that the Sam we’re dealing with is a very human Sam, enduring very human emotions. There’s no visions, demon blood, Lucifer, soullessness, broken wall crazy hanging over his head. Sam, for the first time since season 3 is simply Sam and he’s dealing with everything that’s passed, with no supernatural intrusions.

I said a couple of weeks ago that the detachment we’re seeing in his character towards his brother and their life together, for me, felt like fear. He’s scared to get close, scared to completely let Dean in, scared to fall back into their old ways because he’s terrified of losing his brother, terrified to go through losing everything and everyone again and all the pain that brings.

This is a man who saw his brother ripped to shreds by invisible dogs, shot in the chest, hit by a car, he cradled Dean as he died in his arms at least 4 times that we saw. We often talk about how Sam means everything to Dean. Dean has said it himself, “Watching out for you... it's kinda been my job, you know? But more than that, it's... it's kinda who I am”. We’ve accepted that Sam is Dean’s number one. No matter who else may cross Dean’s path, his brother is an intrinsic part of his physiology and that will never change. But what we forget and often don’t discuss is that for Sam, Dean is all he knows. Sam was at loggerheads with an absent father whom he wound up being estranged from. For Sam, the one person, the one constant in his life, has always been Dean. His older brother raised him and was there for him, loving him ferociously from before Sam could even remember. Sam may not have the outward franticness to his love that Dean sometimes appears to have, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel his love as deeply. He even said in “The French Mistake” when Dean, tentatively suggested that the fake world of Jared Padalecki was better than Sam’s reality, no, “We’re not even brothers here man.”

Now picture this, the one person whom you’ve spent your whole life looking up to, trusting and relying on, is killed over and over in front of your eyes. Then, just as you’re getting your wits back together, after the latest supernatural abomination perpetrated against you, that person disappears to parts unknown and you’re left alone, well and truly alone. Surely that would traumatise Sam. I imagine him spending the ensuing days, weeks, months, reliving that and every other nightmare him and his brother suffered through, agonising over every dreadful scenario that Dean may now be experiencing. Then, after a year, when he’s obviously still struggling to find his feet in this strange, new world, poof…his brother miraculously returns and wants to hit the road. Go back to their old life, the life which has caused Sam untold pain and which could once again mean death and loss.

The Sam we saw looking for Amelia on the bridge, the Sam we saw raging at Dean, angry with his brother for keeping secrets and taking risks, racing to his brother’s aid with his foot pressed hard against the accelerator, is a Sam unhinged by fear. I look at him and think, oh man; he’s scared out of his wits, he’s scared he’s going to have to relive all that torment again. Sam is breaking my heart in two. I want to sit next to him and hold his hand and tell him, everything is going to be all right. I no longer see detachment; in fact I see the opposite. I see a love so powerful that it’s making him frantic at the thought of losing it again, of the pain of losing that one constant in his life, the pain of losing Dean. Sam, you make me hurt. Unsympathetic? I don't see it.

All of this is also why I don’t have an issue with the whole not looking for Dean thing, even if Dean does…which obviously, being Dean, he would. Sam has seen the consequences of their continual need to sacrifice themselves for each other and the world. He’s seen the catastrophic ramifications both cosmically and personally. He’s lived through it. Even if he had a clear idea of where Dean was and how to bring him back, who’s to say that wouldn’t start some crazy new cycle like the Apocalypse part-deux, who’s to say that Dean wouldn’t come back damaged…like you know, soulless or worse, who’s to say that retrieving Dean wouldn’t be part of some bigger evil scheme that the brothers have been unwittingly sucked into and more importantly, who’s to say Dean wasn’t in Heaven and pulling Dean back would rip him away from somewhere he’d finally found peace? Sam didn’t know. So in amongst dealing with the sudden loss of the person that’s anchored him his whole life, in amongst dealing with a mental clarity that he’s not had for a while, that allows him to think about all the tragedy that’s befallen him and his brother because of this life they were raised in, he’s also got the possible weight of the world and all it’s inhabitants crushing him and the possibility that dragging his brother back to earth wouldn’t be the best option for Dean or maybe even humanity. 

There is a natural order, the brother’s have said, “Screw it” over and over and have been smacked in the face for their troubles. When do you learn? When do you look at the big picture and go, um, I gotta stop messing with this stuff because every time I do, something worse happens. I’m not seeing anything here that doesn’t feel like Sam and quite frankly, I’m falling head over heels in love with Sam all over again this season. I love me nothing more than a damaged, flawed hero (hence the whole Dean thing), and this Sam, with all his humanity is just so beautiful to me. It’s a problem I have, I know….but this is a 100% human Sam, dealing with human emotions and showing, once again, how achingly human he is. Sam is going through a deep emotional struggle and I’m there with him every step of the way. 

I know none of this has been openly discussed by Sam, but I think it's being subtly revealed bit by bit. It's a slow burn mystery that I'm enjoying.

I even warmed a little to Amelia in this episode. When Sam astutely pointed out she was alone, you saw that guard drop. You realised that bitchy front was to keep people like him at bay. Incredibly tall, handsome, serial killer types! In that one moment you saw how they came together, out of a common pain. Like people who find each other through shared trauma. Kind of like Benny and Dean. I’m pretty sure I said this a couple of weeks ago too, there’s a symmetry between the relationships that the brothers worked into their lives in each other’s absence.

And those brothers were my absolute favourite part of this episode. Their bickering was fantastic. I’m weird I guess, because I don’t look at them and see them drifting apart, I look at them and see them desperately trying to cling to being together.

You don’t bicker at each other that much if you no longer care. You don’t question where someone is going if you don’t care if they go. You don’t go to text them because they’re the first person you think of, if they’re no longer important to you – even if you don’t go through with it. You don’t freak out all over the place and rush to their side; because you think they’re in trouble if you don’t want to have a relationship with them. You don’t ring them when you need help, even though it means facing a situation you know is going turn ugly, if you didn’t trust them above everyone else and in fact, if you didn’t want them to know your secret. Dean nearly text Sam he wasn’t alone but changed his mind, but in the long run, he made the call even though he knew the outcome. I think it was his way of bringing Sam in, without having to tell him.

I loved every single conversation Sam and Dean had. From the Kevin Tran bitchiness from Sam, which was epic, “Well he was in advanced placement” to the phone conversations; “You don’t know him, he’s a friend,” “A friend? Dean you don’t have any, all your friends are dead” “It’s not what I called to talk about!” And then the, “I get the separate lives thing, but this is a hunting thing.” “Oh God, stop talking.” Each moment was beautifully written and beautifully performed and felt like a true and honest representation of a couple of siblings driving each other crazy. I know they’re frustrated with each other, not the first time, I know they’re hiding stuff, not the first time, but nothing in this episode made me think they’re drifting apart or trying to get away from each other, just that they’re trying to figure it out, figure themselves out, each other out, their duoness out, in amongst all the damaged, because let’s not forget the most obvious thing here, they’re damaged, both of them, deeply, by what they’ve gone through over the past year. There’s going to be emotional fallout.

Then there was that final scene. I replayed it over and over and over. The brothers don’t have to speak. One look and they both know what the other is thinking. Dean was stoic, because he knew Sam would figure it out, he just stood firm and watched. Sam figured it out and his first move was that of a hunter. He may have been out of the life for a year, he may say he doesn’t want it anymore, but there he was, at his brother’s side with his hand reaching for his knife because he knew there was a monster standing in front of him. But one small head shake from Dean and he stopped. He gave his brother the benefit of the doubt, even though a mask of anger clouded his face. It was beautiful. Beautifully written, shot, edited and performed. This scene was made by a group of people at the top of their game. As is this show. This no longer feels like a genre show about a couple of ghost hunting bros, that’s housed on a small youth skewed network, this feels like a grown up drama that would be able to sit on any network. It’s mature and gritty and challenging and heartbreaking and I LOVE IT. I’m sorry; I know I sound like a broken record, but season 8 man, its some good TV.

Of course I want Sam and Dean to find some happiness together, I want them to be cool with sitting next to each other in the Impala riding the backstreets, joking and teasing, enjoying being brothers, but I also recognise them to be men in their thirties who have changed and grown together and I’m good with that, in fact I’m enjoying it. I’m enjoying seeing them traverse each other’s emotional minefield to try to get back what they, in reality, haven’t had for a very long time. That's the thing about Sam and Dean, they never stop trying, they never give up on each other, they never give up on being brothers. No matter how much they fight, no matter often they walk away from each other; they find their way back, because they want to. At their core, they want to be together. No matter what Sam is saying, look at what he’s doing. No matter who Dean is friends with, look at who he stays with.

Next week, I’d say Sam and Dean are going to deal with the aftermath of the Benny thing. Hey, at least they’re talking.

Until next time Supernatural family.
-sweetondean

sweetondean is Chief Editor and a Staff Writer for The Winchester Family Business

Review - "Supernatural" 8.04 "Bitten"

Well, I think we all knew from the outset that this was an episode that would polarise “Supernatural” fans. It was a different kind of “Supernatural” episode not just in the way it was shot, all on hand held or CTV style cameras, which many don’t like and find difficult to watch, but also in the way it focused on characters outside of the norm, as in, the focus wasn’t on Sam and Dean or any of the secondary leads like Bobby or Castiel in past episodes “Weekend at Bobby’s” and “The Man Who Would Be King” and this wasn’t going to be like “Ghostfacers” because Sam and Dean were well and truly in that episode. This was something different altogether, a different story told a different way. For some of us it worked and for some of us it didn't. 

I went into “Bitten” as I do with any episode, wide open with expectations set to neutral and I have to say, this was one hell of an enjoyable hour of television for me. So I guess, put me in the "it worked" camp. When it finished, I felt proud as punch of this show and the people who make this show. That they have the cojones to give something like this a whirl and pull it off so spectacularly and that they have the cojones to make the show they want to make.

This last bit makes me particularly happy, because I always worry that the creators of this show may be influenced by the likes of me, or you or whomever comment and offer dialogue on “Supernatural.” That they may read some of the commentary on whether Sam is being written this way or that or whether we feel Dean is being all out of character and allow our insights and opinions as viewers to colour and skew the way they choose to tell their story. It’s arrogance on my behalf to think they would of course, but it does give me pause for concern sometimes. Obviously they feel the need to listen to some degree, because if we rampantly hate something, that’s going to reflect badly on the future of the show, but even at this level, it makes me somewhat uncomfortable. I remember Edlund being asked, do they have to listen to the fans and he thought for a moment and said, “No”. His implication as I took it in the context of the question, that they may listen, but they don’t feel they have to. I felt relieved to hear that.

I’ve said this many times, I want the creators of “Supernatural” to be allowed to tell the story they want to tell. They know the end game, I don’t. They know where the mid-season finale is going, where the season is going, how far this arc is going, where these characters need to be and who they need to be for the pay off, I don’t. They’re working to a big picture plan of which I have absolutely no concept. I’m not there with them, working through the structure of a 23-episode season and beyond, so I don’t know. I have to have faith that they know more than I do about their story and about their characters and where all their ducks need to be for everything to unfold and for that reason I give them the time and the respect to allow them to unfold their story as they see fit, even when I find it challenging or disappointing. I think the last couple of seasons have dragged us from pillar to post and it’s made some of us gun-shy. I read it over and over in the comments and I get it, I’m often in the same boat. Some disappointments are hard to let go of, even if you enjoyed the bulk of seasons 6 and 7, which I did. I love this show with a passion, in case you haven’t noticed, so some knocks hit hard. But this is a new season, a fresh start and personally, I’m loving how it’s playing out so far and so I’m happily offering up my trust to allow this, highly creative and talented bunch of people, the time they need to tell their story. After only 4 episodes of a 23-episode season, I think that’s only fair and reasonable. So that’s what I’m choosing to do and crossing my fingers my faith pays off. It usually does. So far, so good.

I thought “Bitten” was a lovely piece of story telling. I found myself sitting up leaning all the way forward at one point and I had one of those moments where you go, “Man, I’m seriously digging this.” By the end, I was dreading seeing what played out in the opening scene. I felt for these kids. I liked them. Michael was adorable and sweet (and a looker), Kate was smart and had a life plan, Brian was insecure and trying to find his place. I liked how normal they all seemed.

I enjoyed seeing the birth of these monsters from their point of view. Their struggle to come to terms with what was happening to their friend and then, inevitably, to all of them. We’ve seen this from the Winchester’s perspective before, when they’ve come across monsters who don’t want to embrace or don’t realise they’re embracing their monster form, like the Rugaru in “Metamorphosis” and Madison in “Heart”. We know that the Winchesters have come across monsters with families; that have been living in society and attempting to curb their monstery ways, but it was good to see this from the inside out, get the monster-eye-view if you will. They were just your average college kids who got caught up in this horrific situation. I’m kind of shocked we haven’t seen this before.

I really dug seeing how the Winchesters appear to the outside world. We’re usually alongside them in the trenches and we’re so used to them and what they do, so this was a fun way to see the brothers. I often think to myself, when they’re having some bizarre conversation in a diner about their latest case, shush, someone's going to hear you and call the cops on your asses! I mean, it’s not like they whisper and they’re always just stepping off to the side and going into some horrific detail about some case with people RIGHT THERE! I remember in the commentary for “In The Beginning” Kripke noting that Dean and Young Mary only walk two steps away from the kid who accidentally sold his soul to the YED and that the kid would be able to hear them talking about demons and the like and he’d be freaking out! Kripke was laughing his ass off! And it’s true! So I was giggling like an idiot when they got caught on camera talking about the Mayan God.

I don’t have a problem with shaky-cam, I quite enjoy it as a film making technique. The only problem I have with it is that it's very rarely perfect. There’s always going to be a moment when you go, umm, where’s that shot coming from? Having said that, I thought “Bitten” as a whole, did a pretty good job on the hand held POV camera concept. It was smart to have Brian install stationary cameras around the rooms to give the director and editors more to play with. There were a couple of times I thought, put the damn camera down, this is getting serious, but then I remembered the people who film themselves caught up in all sorts of terrible disasters and well, some people do that sort of stuff for real! With this style of filmmaking, I think there has to be a degree of suspension of disbelief and I was willing to do that.

What I do think is that this form of story telling allows a fair bit of intimacy. You’re with the characters all the time instead of moving off to different points of action. In that way, I felt like I had a better grasp on these characters than most of the one off characters we meet in “Supernatural” and I appreciated that. The performances were pretty good. I thought Michael and Kate in particular had nice chemistry and I believed in their relationship and I could see that Michael was a good guy and was Brian’s only friend and I could get a vibe on Brian’s dissatisfaction with always being the third wheel. The episode hinged on them being able to carry off the piece and for me, they did. I must admit I really didn’t like when Brian forcibly bit Kate, I know where it was coming from, desperation, misplaced love, fear, anger, but it was way harsh how it went down and I was incredibly pleased she took him out for it. He embraced the monster, he welcomed it inside him and he let it take hold….he had to go.

Which brings me to the Winchesters letting Kate walk. Having to sit through that video, see what they do and the creatures they do it to from the other side, must have been edifying. Monsters have told them, they’ve said that they’re not bad, don’t want to be monsters, that it’s not their fault, not their choice, but seeing it laid out in front of them, seeing these kids getting dragged into their world through no fault of their own, the confusion, the fear and the outcome, had to shift something inside the brothers. They’ve had their doubts before about whether every monster deserves to die, they’ve argued over it many times, but this gave them another perspective.

Is that the reason they let Kate walk? Hmm, I have a feeling Dean was thinking about his association with a certain vampire he brought back from Purgatory when faced with this question. How could he go after Kate, when she says she’s going to keep her nose clean and not do the same with Benny? Dean seemed to mull the whole thing over. Once upon a time, he’d probably shelve the Benny thing, compartmentalise it and still go after Kate, finding some way to rationalise the double standard later. But I think Dean’s changed, Purgatory, his new association, whatever, I saw this as nice growth. Glad to see it Winchester. I’d expect Sam to give her a chance, so his reaction didn’t surprise me. I did notice how quickly he packed up. It was like he wanted to get out of there before his brother changed his mind. Of course, it could've been that Dean was simply moved by the story of these kids, but seeing as where we’re about to go in next week’s episode, I’m pretty sure he was thinking of his toothy friend and this scene was all about setting up a certain meeting and the quandary Dean’s about to find himself in. 

One could sit here and go into the parallels of the story of the three kids having this life of a monster forced upon them and the story of Sam and Dean and the life that they were raised in. Their Apocalyptic destinies, Sam’s demon blood running through his veins and the brother's ongoing struggle to reconcile themselves with their lives, just as Michael and Kate, not so much Brian, were faced with a similar dilemma. Destiny versus free will, freedom to choose your own path and all that. We could look at the song choice, Milo Greene's "What's the Matter" and ponder over the lyric, which seemed to be purposeful in its intent, not just to illustrate what was happening in the relationship between the friends but also what's currently happening in Sam and Dean's relationship, "Do you ever wonder why, We go on and on and on… What's the matter? What's the matter with you lately?" But you know what……I’m just going to take the episode for what it was and enjoy it as a one off. We all need a break from my overly thinky thoughts anyway and I have a feeling next week my thinky thoughts will be in overdrive!           

I must admit, I was a little hesitant to write my review this week, because I’ve seen how vehemently some have disliked this episode, but as I said last week, the wonderful thing about this show is that we all come at it from different angles and take different things away with us. I liked “Bitten”. Actually I liked it a lot. I understand it didn’t blow everyone’s hair back, but that’s because we’re all individuals and like different things. I’m really happy to be a fan of a show that takes risks, that creates such great dialogue, that we feel compelled to discuss for good and bad. I’m so happy that this show exists for me to feel so passionate about it, you know?

Would I want to see this kind of episode regularly, hell no, you know me, I’m a Winchester lovin’ girl and I adore the story of those two men and I am literally champing at the bit for next week’s episode to see more of their story unfold…and because Mr Edlund wrote it….and because I saw some of it being shot! OH MY GOSH! I am so excited for next week’s episode. So no, I don’t want a plethora of episodes like “Bitten” but this was good, I enjoyed it and I praise the team behind this show for pushing the boundaries and our buttons.

Now bring on that Winchester angst!

Thanks for reading… let me know what you think.

Until next time you AWESOME people! Come on, you think I wasn’t going to get an awesome gag in there. Oh Dean….
-sweetondean 

sweetondean is Chief Editor and Staff Writer for The Winchester Family Business

Review of "Supernatural" 8.03 "Heartache"

You know what I love about this show? Everything. The end. No, really…well that, but really, I love how we all come at this show differently. I love how we all see different things, feel different things. Sometimes some of us don’t like an episode that others really dig. I think that’s kind of great, because I think that this demonstrates that “Supernatural” has many layers and as individuals we experience these layers, this story from different angels, just like life itself.

I enjoyed “Heartache”, even if it left me with one! I loved the dynamic between the brothers. I’m really digging that so far this season. Even though they’re at odds, I’m enjoying watching them work through it. I can’t remember the last time they spoke so honestly to each other. It’s been a couple of seasons! I heard this episode called a filler, but I felt it was far from that. “Heartache” focused on the other arc of the season, not the mythology arc about the Word of God and the gates of Hell, but the arc running concurrent to that one, the one that’s been the centre of this show from the very beginning, the one we all care about, sometimes a little too much. For me, “Heartache” was all about Sam and Dean’s arc, the monster story and the title, being a metaphor for where the brothers are, both as individuals and as partners.

I like a story that unravels slowly. I’ve never been someone who needs all the answers right now. In life yes, but not in books or movies or TV. I like the sense that I’m not sure how this is going to play, what’s going to happen next. I love being left with the urge that I just have to turn the page. “Supernatural” season 8 makes me want to turn the page like a crazy woman! For the first time in a while, I feel like I have absolutely no clue as to how this whole Sam and Dean thing is going to pan out. I mean, Sam’s obviously not going to walk away. Say, even if he does for an episode or two, he won’t walk away forever; the obvious reason being this is a show about two hunting brothers! Something’s going to have to bring him back into the fold, make him happy to be riding shotgun with Dean again. But I have no idea what. I don’t want something horrible to happen to him or anyone he cares for, to force him back into the life, I want him to get there by his own volition, because he wants to be there, wants to be fighting alongside Dean. But I just can’t see how that’s going to happen and it’s driving me crazy! And by the way, I love it!

The brothers are in very different headspaces from each other right now and both have got to where they are because of the experiences, of not just the last year, but the last seven years.

Let’s talk about Dean…because, well…you know why! Dean! I love post Purgatory Dean, both in his flights of fury and his zealous and overly enthusiastic approach to the job. I love that he has a spark back under his pretty backside. Of course he broke my heart in this episode. He may have been all perky, but we all see right through you Dean. We see his fear of being alone. His fear of being abandoned. His comments to Sam in the car; “Things are really coming together man, you and me, it’s all good…..I know where I’m at my best, right here, driving down crazy street, next to you” made me literally say out loud, to no one in particular, “Oh Dean….” Ouch. My Dean-lovin’ heart. I just felt so damn sad for him. There’s no place he’d rather be and no person he’d rather be with than Sam and Sam just ain’t feelin’ it. Which makes me want to weep for both of them.

I mean, for the first time in a long, long time, Dean actually seems reasonably happy. He looks great (redundant comment), he's off the booze or at least off slamming down all the booze in the world, I bet he's as fit as a fiddle after chasing monsters around Purgatory for a year. He feels good. He feels happy to be back in the game. All he needs is his brother back on board. Wibble.

You know what he reminded me of? Do you ever get overly enthusiastic about something because you really want a friend to enjoy it? Or you want them to feel good when it looks like they’re feeling bad? So you’re all up and positive and jazzed to try and get them up and positive and jazzed too. That’s what it looked like Dean was doing to me. Not that I think he doesn’t believe what he’s saying or doesn’t genuinely feel this verve for life, but I think he’s over compensating, because he can see, Sam doesn’t feel the same way.

One thing about Dean that impressed me (apart from everything) was that he never lost his cool with Sam. He got sarcastic, poking his brother for walking away from the family business and he gave Sam a bitchface at the farmer’s market that rivalled anything the younger Winchester had thrown his way over the years, but he never got narky with Sam. I think, partly because he doesn’t believe Sam can or will give up the life and partly because he thinks if he just lets this play itself out, Sam will come around to Dean’s way of thinking. Dean would never consider walking away from Sam. Even when Dean briefly entertained the idea while with Lisa, it didn’t take much for Dean to hit the road again with his brother. Even when he was so depressed he could barely face each day, he stayed in the game because of his brother. Dean’s never been very good at understanding that people may feel a bit different about a situation than he does, so if he feels that him and Sam are back on track, he’s assuming that Sam will eventually feel the same way too. Dean's in denial. I’m calling it, Dean-ial.

If Sam left hunting, Dean would see it as Sam walking away from him. Even though I'm sure Sam wouldn't be removing himself from Dean's life, Dean would see it as his brother leaving HIM, not leaving hunting. I thought Sam’s comment “Maybe you don’t need me. Maybe you’re at your best hacking and slicing your way through all the world’s crap alone, not having to explain yourself to anybody” was one of two things; 1. Sam trying to talk himself into that being a realistic option and 2. WHAT? Really…if there’s one thing we know about Dean, he does not want to be on his own. Sam found that out right back in season one when Dean said, “I can’t do this alone” “Yes you can” “Yeah…well I don’t want to.” When Dean said he couldn’t do this alone I never thought he meant hunting, I always thought, Dean couldn’t do this alone, emotionally. He can’t. He needs Sam, not just because he loves him but because Sam keeps Dean grounded, Sam is his touch stone, Sam is the one person who understands Dean and understands everything Dean’s been through. Sam keeps Dean human. And visa versa because Sam without Dean has not been a pretty picture in the past. There’s a reason these two were soul mates in Heaven.

I have a feeling Sam without Dean in his “happy” gap year, was not entirely what he’s making it out to be. If you’re truly happy, you don’t slip away to some old cabin spasmodically, to do whatever amongst the ghosts of those you love and you sure don’t slide out in the middle of the night on a girl that you see in golden, glowing tones in your memory. But I can see how, after a year out, Sam might find being his brother’s sole connection to this world, a lot of pressure. I can see how Sam could feel trapped by not only the life, but also Dean’s expectations of who they are and the need for his brother to be as an integral part of his life as he has been for the last seven years. Let’s face it their relationship is a tad on the co-dependent side. Which I personally love! Oh dear… I don’t think this means Sam loves Dean any less. The fact that he’s by his brother’s side, even though he doesn’t want to be doing the job, is evidence of this and speaks volumes.

The way Sam is dealing with Dean, I'm wondering if it stems from fear. That his disconnection is reflective of the trauma he went through after being left alone in that lab. I’m wondering if Sam is too scared to go down this road again with Dean. That losing his brother was so traumatic, that the very real fear that Dean could “die” again, is making him keep Dean at arms length. He’s obviously happy his brother is alive, he obviously loves Dean enough and is loyal enough to see this last case through, but he seems disconnected and I’m reading that as an side affect of the trauma of losing his brother and not wanting to get hurt to that level ever again. He’s watched his brother die over and over. Enough. His panicked reaction to hitting the dog, his panicked reaction to trying to find Amelia in his flashback scene. He’s scared. He’s scared of losing the people he loves and he’s scared of ending up alone. Kinda like Dean really… Right now, I see Sam as full of fear and if we ever get to see him immediately after the disappearance of Dean, which I really hope we do at some stage, I think we’ll see how bad it was for him and have a greater understanding and empathy for the Sam of the last three episodes.

I get how Sam and Dean have got to the place that we find them now as individuals. How they’ve sort of both come full circle. I heard someone on a podcast I listen to call this repetitive story telling, blaming eight seasons and running out of plot for revisiting something initially raised in the very first episode. But I disagree and I think this is overly simplistic analysis. This theme of Sam and Dean’s different perspective on their lives and their jobs has always been an ongoing theme and has never gone away. It’s at the centre of who they are and what makes them and their relationship so interesting.

It’s no surprise to me that Sam would revisit this “normal life” mindset when left alone. He hasn’t really had time to do that in the past. He was searching for the YED while dealing with visions, he was trying to save his brother, he was under the spell of the Demon Ruby and her blood, he was facing his destiny of being Lucifer’s vessel and wondering how to save the world, he was soulless, he was broken….then….he was alone. With everything and everyone stripped away from him, no wonder he had a good, long look at where he’s been and what he wants. No wonder he decided he didn’t want any of that, because who would! He had time to think and I think, he realised, those things that he wanted, way back when, he still wanted them, because seriously, that’s better than being tortured in Hell! He just hadn’t had a moment to draw breath and consider it before now. Sam’s always wanted to be normal. Yet he had demon blood dripped into his mouth and demons manipulating his life and he was born to be Lucifer’s partner in the Apocalypse and he fought his way, alongside his brother, out of each and every one of these things and came through the other side, but only after paying a price too painful to bear, losing Dean. That’s why he snapped at Dean about free will in the season opener. Sam is fighting his destiny one more time. Sam is trying to be who he always wanted to be. I think somewhere inside him, he probably knows he’s fighting a losing battle. I never believed the Sam who said all he wanted was Lilith’s head on a plate, bloody. This Sam who wants to be normal, feels like Sam to me.

Dean of course, had a similar experience with Purgatory. When we first met Dean, he was gung-ho about hunting, but as time went on and sacrifice upon sacrifice piled up around his ears, Dean lost his mojo. He’s always wanted family and when he lost his, he tried to find solace with another, only to discover that hunting and his brother were the only things that would ever make him whole. But he struggled through the following years, as Sam and Dean were tested over and over, as they tried to find their place together through all the soullessness and the broken wall and all the other horrors put upon them. I think this is a big reason why Dean drowned so many of his sorrows in the bottle. Yes, he lost Bobby, yes he lost Cass, yes he lost all those that fell before them, but the greatest loss was his brother. From the time Dean went to Hell, nothing was ever quite the same. They never really found their footing again, because so much crap was being constantly flung at them. Then Dean has his year in Purgatory and the experience is pure, it’s a rush, it’s what he does really well, it’s what he can be proud of, it’s simple and black and white and it reignites all those feelings as to why he loves doing the job, including all those feelings about fighting next to Sam. So Dean came out of Purgatory reinvigorated, except this time it’s different, because now he’s doing the job for himself, not out of loyalty to a dead father, but because it’s what he enjoys and it’s what he’s good at and it’s where he wants to be. Thank the Lord! Because I really love this Dean. I hope depressed Dean is gone for all time!

In my opinion, the brothers coming full circle to closer to where they were when we first met them is self awareness, not repetitive story telling or lack of character growth. It’s maturity. It’s only as we grow and mature that we begin to accept ourselves and who we are, even if it’s at odds with who we think we should be or others expect us to be. Sometimes we find that who we are now is closer to who we were when we were younger, but fought against out of expectations from family or society, or out of a belief that we’re supposed to live a certain way. As you get older, those things seem to clear to a better understanding and acceptance of yourself and what makes you happy. I think this is what happened to Sam and Dean. When faced with this time apart to assess their lives as individuals and with no expectations weighing them down, they came back to whom they’ve always really been. A warrior who loves the hunt. A boy who just wants to be normal. Of course, it could also be that without each other keeping the other grounded and in touch with the reality of the Winchester’s world they both reverted to a life that seemed more simple, easier to understand, before all the nightmares of their destinies began to change who they were! Either way, I like it. I feel like this show has really grown up.

I think it’s ok for Sam to pine for a different life. I think he’d not be Sam if he didn’t want more than hacking and slicing through a world of crap. I don't think having a dream of a normal life and enjoying hunting with his brother need to be two opposing positions that can only bring him sadness. Wanting more is human and what Sam is experiencing is probably the first simple human desire he's had the luxury of entertaining for a long time. But I think it’s unrealistic to believe that a normal life can ever be an option for him. He’s Sam Winchester. How he didn’t get hunted down during his “gap” year is baffling! Not only that, he’s just not safe to be around. Dean discovered that the hard way with Lisa. There is no getting out and those around you are in danger because of it. Dean will be there to pick up the pieces when his brother realises this. Man, these poor guys.

One thing I’d like to note and if I could point it out to Sam I would, when Sam was in the throws of the job, he was digging it. He was in to the research. You could see an ember of enthusiasm sparking up as he accessed medical files and whatnot. He may have said, “You want me on board, I’m on board” but it looked more than that to me and I wondered if Dean saw that too and that’s also a part of why he’s holding back and just seeing how this all plays out with his little brother. Dean's a smart cooke. He understands his brother even when they seem worlds apart. Sam’s lack of connection with wanting this life, in my opinion, is not about the work, but about what the work has cost.

All this brother commentary, their back and forth, which was surprisingly honest, was juxtaposed with the case of Brick Holmes and his wife Betsy. Brick was ancient Mayan warrior whose only reason for living was combat, who found his life’s purpose through battle, who couldn’t bear the thought of carrying on the fight without his partner in life, who had made sacrifice after sacrifice to survive, who was so tired he just wanted out. Of course everything here relates directly to Sam and Dean, what they’ve been through and where they find themselves now. Both have been exhausted by sacrifice, both have been so tired they want out, Dean is now invigorated by the combat, but that will not sustain him alone because he can’t face doing it without Sam. Sam is tired of the sacrifices, of being tied to a destiny he wants escape and he just wants to be out.

You know the brothers being at odds about their future and Dean’s response to Sam not looking for him is going to go boom at some point. It’s bound to get worse before it gets better. Angst! I see angst in our future!

I should also mention a couple of things. Jensen directed this episode, as we all know. I always get excited when his name pops up with that director’s credit. I feel weirdly proud of him. Actually, it’s not weird at all, I am proud of him. He’s talented and watching those talents blossom and grow, both in his acting and his directing is a pure joy. His Dean was just wonderful in “Heartache”. Gosh I enjoyed Jensen’s performance. He did a good job directing this episode too. I don’t think you can pick between him and the veterans who work on this show, which says a lot, seeing as this was only his third time in the chair. I noted that he made some interesting composition choices, which for me, seems to be becoming a bit of a trademark. They should just give him the premiere episode next season; I reckon he’s up to it.

I loved seeing Jensen’s daddy, Alan Ackles in the show. I liked his cop a lot. About time a cop gave some sass back to those smart mouthed Winchesters! I couldn’t help but think, that withering look Papa Ackles’ character gave Dean was probably a look Jensen was on the receiving end of numerous occasions when he was growing up! Having Alan in that scene, made it all the more fun.

I’m still enjoying the mystery that is Sam. I was expecting more flashbacks, but I kind of enjoyed just noodling around in Sam’s head instead. Sam’s always been so thoughtful, as in, he’s a thinker, so to me it seems kind of appropriate that he appears to be really thinking things through and we are experiencing that process and not necessarily seeing purely actions indicating his position. It’s almost like; he’s not figured it out yet, so we have to wait too and we're riding the brainwave with him. I thought his flashback was interestingly over romanticised. Apart from his obvious panic in the moment he thought Amelia and then Riot had disappeared, it was all happy and glowy and golden. I guess we have a tendency to up the happy on happy memories. By the way, I don’t think for a minute he’d never had a birthday cake, just that he was relieved to find Amelia and was touched by her surprise cake. I mean, who doesn’t like surprise cake! I’m still waiting to like her more than I do. She kind of spoke to him like he was Riot! Sit. Eat. (Roll over). Well, she is a vet. I guess we’ve not seen much of her so I’ll be quiet now until we do!

The closing scene with the brothers in the car, Dean not wanting to hear Sam, Sam trying to make Dean listen….owwwwwwww. How can this show hurt so much! You know what though, wistful memory, sweet smile, teary puppy-eyes aside…Sam walked out on his normal life in the middle of the night with a car full of weapons and headed to a cabin where he thought no-one would be….. Why?

And, I love having my Dean back.

Oh blimey! I’ve gone long again. Suffice to say, I enjoyed "Heartache". I enjoyed the brother’s interaction. I’m loving the mature and honest dialogue (even though they still both have secrets). I thought the monster was kind of cool and Betsy was kind of sad. I like that Sam is still with Dean, out of loyalty and love, to finish this one last job (yeah right Sam), I LOVE that Dean is bad-assed and happy and didn’t have booze in his hand once. I loved how healthy the boys both looked! Can anyone say hiatus tan? I think JC may have to tell the Js to stay out of the sun a bit before a new season kicks off! It looked like Sam and Dean had been to the beach! Ok…now I’m thinking about Sam and Dean in board shorts frolicking in the surf so it’s time to bug out!

One more thing about Dean….Dean and the strippers “Smell that?” “You’re gross.” Oh Lordy, that was nearly as awesome as when he covered the Winchester family jewels with his hands as he went through the metal detector in last week’s episode. I missed rowdy Dean….. Oh and by the way, I’ve been to that strip club. Wait. On the location tour! On the location tour!

Oh and… Dean got an app! BLESS!

Alrighty, let me know your thoughts. 

Thanks for reading!

-Amy

sweetondean is Chief Editor and writer for The Winchester Family Business