SUPERNATURAL VILLAIN SPOTLIGHT: AZAZEL

- by Melissa

Guest Writer Melissa has started a series on the Supernatural villains. She's started with one of my favourites, Azazel! Let's encourage her to write some more in the series! Let her know your thoughts in the comments.

-sweetondean

Our very first villain ever introduced to us on Supernatural was a demon known as Azazel, first glimpsed upon in the pilot episode where he is ominously visiting the infant Sam. Unidentified for over two entire seasons, for several episodes we in the audience would alternate between nicknames for the fiend, such as the Ceiling Demon or the Yellow-Eyed Demon. With such prestige being our first actual adversary in the show, we owe him the respect of looking deeper into his character and possibly uncovering interesting tidbits from his historical background.

We know, in accordance with the show’s mythology, that Azazel was a high-ranking demon who earned the favor of Satan, so much so that he was bequeathed with the honor of leaving hell in pursuit of the entrance to Lucifer’s cage. Doorway to that cage was located in 1972, when he took possession of a priest and slaughtered all the nuns inside for the inauguration of some satanic ritual. Massacre resulted in his ability to then communicate with Lucifer himself via one of the dead nuns, where he learned in order to break open the cage, they must first release Lilith. Only a chosen child can release her, so Azazel sets out on an arduous task of bargaining with particular women, waiting ten years for the birth of one of their children, and systematically bleeding into their mouths to properly taint and empower their future warriors. Upon coming of age, these anointed children would be faced off in a Battle Royale style melee, after which the lone survivor will use the colt to unlock the gates of hell, thereby releasing the demon, Lilith. Only once this child has killed Lilith, will the final seal be broken and Lucifer can roam free on the earth.

Successful in all these multifarious and intricate ordeals, Azazel was denied his chance to celebrate his accomplishments, instead being shot with the colt by Dean. Hurray for Dean! Despite perishing, no one can argue that Azazel performed his tasks magnificently and managed to set off such an epic chain of events, that to this day the Winchester family is still dealing with some of the repercussions. In fact we wouldn’t even have a show if it weren’t for Azazel, as he was the one who provided John Winchester with the motivation of hunting all that is unnatural and wicked in pursuit of avenging his wife, consequently also raising his sons, Dean and Sam, in the life. But is there more to the demon?

Older translations of the Bible do include the word Azazel in its vocabulary, meaning something equivalent to a scapegoat. Yes, a scapegoat. Yeah, not all that terrifying. Further research into Judaism tells us that the term scapegoat pretty much emerged from the tradition of serving God a goat and offering it as a sacrifice. By slaughtering the goat in God’s name, we are then forgiven our sins, thus turning the sacrifice into a scapegoat. Perhaps we could then interpret the killing of Azazel as a means for redemption for the Winchester legacy, as it was Mary’s choice (admittedly out of the love for her boyfriend) to deal with the demon that cursed her offspring in the first place. Sure, I’m reaching here, but I see Dean killing Azazel as him righting the wrongs done to his family.

Then there are the teachings of Islam, which also reference Azazel. In their religion, Azazel is the name of an entity who disobeyed Allah by tempting Adam to eat the apple and become the world’s very first sinner. Might sound familiar for those fans of Gadreel. Much like how the Azazel in that story lured Adam to the transgression of eating the apple, it was our Yellow-Eyed Dmon in the show who persuaded Mary to bargain with him and seal the fate of her family, in exchange for John’s life. Had it not been for that original transaction, the Winchester family would never have been harmed, Mary’s noble intentions notwithstanding.  

Skip ahead to the Book of Enoch, where you will find a handful of references to Azazel. Depending on the translation and edition, some versions depict him as a fallen angel who copulated with human women. These forbidden relations led to the birth of the Nephilim, which are angel/human hybrids. Look to some other passages and you will see that Azazel is described, not as a fallen angel, but as a mere human being who enticed people to sin. Scriptures specify that Azazel taught mankind the art of war, while also tutoring women in the ways of witchcraft. Between the warfare and sorcery and the abomination of the Nephilim (all of these atrocities influenced entirely by Azazel himself), God flooded the earth and wiped out the majority of mankind. So in a way, you can attribute a certain past apocalypse to Azazel himself. If we were to attach this piece of theology to the character in the show, it would make sense why Azazel was deemed so valuable in the underworld, given his reputation for having been such a contributing factor to the eradication of past generations relating to the biblical flood.

 If we were to cross out the depictions of him as a fallen angel, and take into consideration the opposing passages that portray him as human molding others into the perfect sinners, we could then imagine his subsequent damnation, leading to the eventual demonization of his soul down in hell. Or perhaps, within the constructs of the show, it is possible that he was once an angel, who was then cast out of heaven and reborn as a human, much like Anna. Should an angel lose their grace and be reborn as a human, could they then earn a place in hell in death and thus be turned into a demon? For all we know, Azazel’s grace could be buried away in some tree, just waiting to be excavated.

Time to reveal my true nerdiness, as we now turn to the X-Men mutant of the same name. Summarizing this long and convoluted story the best I can, there was once this army of demons from another dimension who breached earth and raided. Before the demonic soldiers could be pulled back in and sealed forever, their leader, Azazel, used his powers of teleportation to remain on the planet. From there he sired a number of children with only the most unique (basically mutated) women, one of his sons being the popular Nightcrawler.

Years later his legion of children were summoned to an island, where they, including Nightcrawler, were to sacrifice themselves for the sake of opening the portal to Azazel’s dimension and unleashing an army of demons. Needles to say our heroic X-Men team saved the day and prevented the demons from crossing over from their dimension, in the end trapping the malicious Azazel back in his own world. Obviously much of this story arch would remind us of Yellow-Eyed Demon gathering his special children and preparing them to unleash his own army by opening the Devil’s Gate in All Hell Breaks Loose.

All these different parallels remind me of just how well researched this show truly is, in how it’s able to pull from all sorts of source material and give the foundation of these characters true gravitas. As for why his eyes are yellow . . . ? Well, I don’t rightly know. Any theories out there? Although if you do notice the pictures of Azazel in the X-Men comics, he is sometimes illustrated with yellow eyes as well. Connection? 

Lastly I’d also like to mention just how wonderfully this character is portrayed by the assortment of actors they’ve had playing him. We’ve had Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Lindsey McKeon, and Rob LaBelle all play him, yet no matter how many different performances I see, I always believe it’s the same character. Two performances in particular I love would be Mitch Pileggi, who was memorably creepy in that scene with Dean during the death of his grandparents, and my absolute favorite, Fredric Lehne. Check out Firefly if you care to see Lehne play another standout villain in a kickass show. There is certainly a lot of history behind Azazel, which makes him all the richer. Whether or not Azazel is your favorite villain, he will always be remembered as our first in Supernatural.

A Walk In Your Shoes: A Lesson In Understanding, Acceptance and Triumph - Part Two

-by Anna

Here's part two of Anna's wonderful reflection on how the brothers' walking in each other's shoes, is leading them to a better place of understanding and acceptance of themselves and each other.

Enjoy, and please let Anna know your thoughts in the comments.

Part 1 is here

-sweetondean

Sam Winchester, as Bobby so eloquently pointed out, is one deep son of a bitch. 

Sam is very much like his brother and yet they are so very completely different. Sam was tainted with demon blood at the age of 6 months old because his mother inadvertently traded her son for her husband when she made a demon deal. In an effort to save her son, she died and Sam has had to live with the burden of guilt for the loss of his mother ever since. Sam, like Dean, loves his brother more than he loves his own life. As with his older brother, Sam has his own issues of low self esteem and low self worth. Sam has always felt like an outcast in his own family. He longed for safety and a normal life, fearing the loss of his own life as well as the lives of his brother and father. He never got to experience a normal family, had no memories of his mother and his father was never around. Sam’s parent was his brother. So it stands to reason that Sam always wanted more, that deep down he wanted a life that didn’t involve monsters, demons and things that go bump in the night. 

Sam also confessed to always feeling unclean, even as a small child, believing that he could never go on a quest such as Sir Galahad had done with King Arthur. Sam’s life was always being manipulated and controlled by outside dark forces. When Sam found out what was done to him as a child, he strived to be good, because he had to, because he couldn’t scrub his disease clean or rip it out. He had to take what was done to him and make the best of it. Sam spent his life battling the darkness within and with that Sam has become empathetic and patient and kind. He has an unwavering faith in both God and most of all in his brother and a perseverance and inner strength that has gotten him through the worst that this life has thrown at him. Still, Sam’s lack of worth has been his bane as it has for his brother. His belief that he is a failure and disappointment to Dean has led to his misperception that his brother sees him as such. This belief has driven Sam to the extremes he goes to for his brother, as much Dean does for him.

Sam has always shown his love for his brother in a different way than Dean has. Dean shows his love by breaking pacts/promises, Sam shows his love by keeping them. It’s still love folks. Sam was haunted by guilt when he couldn’t stop Dean from going to hell. He abided Dean’s wishes by not using his abilities and for that Dean suffered in hell. Sam further couldn’t get Dean out of hell, which exacerbated his guilt even further, breaking Sam to the point where he had fallen prey to Ruby. She gave Sam what he needed, a new purpose. If Sam can get to Lilith, perhaps he can save Dean. Even when Dean came back, Sam’s need to make it right for Dean didn’t dissipate. He still needed to atone for not saving his brother and in the end, he inadvertently raised Lucifer, and even worse, lost his brother’s trust. Sam spent all of Season 5 trying to earn that trust back and jumped in the pit, not only to save the world, but to atone to Dean for failing him.

When Sam found out he came back without a soul and learned what he did to innocents, Bobby and most of all to Dean, Sam was fraught with guilt once again. He did everything he could to try to atone, most especially putting his broken psyche together for his brother, because he wasn’t going to leave him alone. He was not going to disappoint his brother yet again. Sam was both emotionally and mentally unstable after Cas broke his wall, but Sam stayed strong, he kept it together and the reason he was able to do it was because of his brother. He did it for Dean. So when Dean was taken from him, Sam lost it. He broke. His every reason for being was taken from him and because he kept a promise he made to his brother, he spent a year grieving and running. He found solace in someone as broken has he was and put all his focus into saving her because he failed to save his brother. He lived in a fantasy because he couldn’t deal with his reality. When time has passed and he gathered the strength to face his life, he left the person who helped him through it, giving her a chance to reunite with her lost loved one. Sam might not have known what he would do next, but he went back to the one place where he felt at home, because it’s where his memories of his brother were...he returned to the cabin.

Upon Sam’s return he’s shocked and overjoyed to find his brother there alive. He still can’t believe his brother is standing in front of him. Then Sam learns the truth and the joy is overcome with sadness. Dean asks if Sam looked for him and when he explains to Dean that he thought he was dead, that he ran away from the life that took his family, that he kept a promise that they made to each other, Sam is utterly overcome with guilt and horror at the notion that Dean thinks Sam didn’t look for him, he left him in purgatory for a girl. In one flash Sam’s world is shattered by Dean’s total disregard of everything that Sam just told him. He once again feels a failure and a disappointment to his brother. So Sam can only do what he could think to do to atone to his brother for failing him, he takes on the trials and promises to show Dean the light at the end of the tunnel. Even when faced with the knowledge that he would die if he completed the trials, Sam’s heartbreaking “so” and his confession to dying being more preferable than disappointing his brother once again, was a clear indication that his inner monster was ready to take Sam down once and for all. It was Dean’s love that saved Sam.

In Season 9 Sam’s monster reared its ugly head once again. Exacerbated by Sam’s guilt and nightmares over killing Kevin, Sam questioned Dean’s motives for saving him and when Dean didn’t give Sam the answer he needed to hear, he misconstrued Dean’s answer as the reason Dean saved him was because he was afraid to be alone, and while that is in part the truth, it isn’t the only reason. Sam of course, due to his lack of self worth, believed that Dean only saved Sam so he wouldn’t be alone and for that reason only. This of course led to Sam’s proclamation that he wouldn’t have saved Dean in the same manner in the same circumstance. Sam would never go against Dean’s wishes. Of course, as I mentioned in pt 1, Dean misconstrued what Sam said and believed Sam wouldn’t save him at all.

Where is the lesson in acceptance, understanding and triumph? Well here we get to the part of the story where the brother’s get to walk in each other’s shoes. Due to the MOC, Dean can no longer run away from his issues. The mark is forcing Dean to face his demons. He has admitted to the fact that he’s always avoided his true fears through drinking or sheer denial. He’s more honest with himself and his brother. He’s confronting his monster head on. For the first time he’s coming to understand what it’s been like for Sam, having to live with this darkness inside of him and being forced to battle it every single day. He’s beginning to understand the choices Sam has made and coming to respect them for now he’s facing them too.

Sam too is walking in his brother’s shoes. He is starting to understand what it’s like to be the one who has to stand by watching, a witness to his brother’s disease, unable to fight it for him. He understands the need to do whatever it takes to save his brother, damned what he brother might say or think, because he can now comprehend Dean’s inability to accept his brother’s death while Dean now understands Sam’s acceptance of it. Oh the sweet Winchester irony.

The walk in each other’s shoes has given the brother’s an understanding of each other that they never had before. They each can see the other’s perspective and it’s brought them closer together as brothers. They are more honest with each other now and they are more honest with themselves. They can finally accept each other as they are both together and individually and they will have finally faced their inner demons head on and conquered them. They have forgone the relationship they’ve had as boys and now relate as the men they have become, triumphant against the worst monster they’ve ever had to face.....their monster within.

-End-

A Walk In Your Shoes: A Lesson In Understanding, Acceptance and Triumph - Part One

- by Anna

Here is a piece from Guest writer, Anna. Anna has been a long time commenter on my articles and always has excellent insight. I asked her if she'd be interested in doing an article for sweetondean, and she wrote a 2 part piece about a subject she and I have discussed quite a lot, the notion of season 10 showing that the brothers are walking in each other's shoes and how that will help them gain understanding and acceptance of themselves and each other.

You can find out more about Anna on our Team sweetondean page.

Here's part one, I hope you enjoy Anna's theories. Please let her know your thoughts in the comments.

-sweetondean

Dean Winchester is complicated. Heroism is very important to Dean. The life he chose to accept, that of a hunter, is a prime example of that. Dean has a need in him to save people. Dean also has his issues and it’s these issues that have been both a blessing and a curse. Dean’s issue of abandonment has made family very important to him. There is no doubt that he loves his brother more than he loves anyone or anything, but as with all siblings, it’s never all lollipops and candy canes. Dean’s fear of abandonment has affected his relationship with his brother in negative ways too. Dean also has issues of self loathing and self-doubt. All of Dean’s issues combined has created Dean’s personal monster, his belief that he is nothing more than a mere killer and it is Dean’s fear and inability to face this monster that nearly destroyed his relationship with his brother and has led to the current situation he’s in now.

Let’s revisit when Dean’s personal monster emerges in an effort to destroy him.

At the end of Season 7, Dean and Cas in an attempt to kill Dick Roman vanished in a sea of black goo. An emotionally unstable Sam, who had been through the psychological ringer since he returned from hell and got his soul back, was left in total shock after what he truly believed to be the death of his touchstone, his reason for putting his broken psyche back together in the first place, his best friend....his brother. He had just lost Bobby twice and now he lost Dean. Sam had no one left. He had no family. He had nobody truly close to him. He lost everything and everyone in that moment, including himself. As Sam so eloquently put it to Amelia, he imploded and ran. He ran away from the life that killed everyone he ever loved. He ran away from himself. Not too hard to understand given what he’s been through since he saved the world by jumping into the pit.

When Dean got out of purgatory, he was angry with Sam for not looking for him. Dean totally disregarded Sam when he told him that he thought he was dead and he couldn’t stay in the life that took everyone away from him. Dean accused Sam of leaving him in purgatory for a girl, a ludicrous notion that isn’t or ever could be true. Sam simply kept a promise. With all that these boys have experienced with demon deals and the consequences that resulted from it, they made a pact, that if either should die, to leave them dead. No more deals. No more trying to get the other back. This was a promise made by two brothers and Sam kept to his word. When he believed with all his heart that his brother died, Sam didn’t try to bring him back or make deals. He instead did what Dean wanted, and as such Sam grieved and broke and lived a life that wasn’t truly his, all to escape the loss of the one he loved most. Sam tried as best he could to let his brother go, because he loved him that much and it’s what Dean said he wanted.

So why then was Dean really angry? Dean jumped to the wrong conclusion not based on what Sam did, but based on his own issues and anger with himself. Firstly, Sam didn’t leave Dean in purgatory, but Cas did. Cas was the one who took off on Dean and left him alone to fend for himself. Dean spent his time in purgatory looking for Cas only to find out from Cas that he abandoned him. Cas had his reason, he was trying to protect Dean from the Levis as Cas believed himself to be a beacon, but I don’t believe that Dean saw that as anything more than Cas ditching him, leaving Dean to fight the monsters alone.

Secondly, Dean believed he left Cas in purgatory. He brought a vampire out with him, but he left Cas behind. He not only left Cas behind, but when he got out he told Sam Cas was dead. Dean never did anything to try to rescue Cas once topside.

Thirdly, Dean appreciated purgatory, even found contentment and a peace there. Sam wasn’t around to keep Dean human, so in essence, he became the killer he always believed himself to be. It wasn’t that he killed to survive, that was of course a necessity, but it was the fact that he enjoyed the kill, he found a freedom in it and an inner calm.

Dean’s resentment towards Sam isn’t because he left him in purgatory and Dean suffered down there, his resentment lies in the fact that he didn’t suffer down there. His anger at Sam stems from the fact that Sam wasn’t with him to keep him human and because of that Dean became the killer he always believed himself to be.

Finally, we have Dean’s friendship with Benny. The origin of their bond came from blackmail. If Dean wasn’t Benny’s ticket out of purgatory, Benny would’ve drank Dean on the spot. They used each other as a means for survival, if you think about it, that’s not unlike the relationship between Sam and Amelia. Dean and Benny were a kindred spirit. Benny is nothing like Sam. Where Sam would’ve kept Dean’s humanity intact, with Benny, Dean can kill without remorse, or guilt. He was free. There was a bond between the two. When Dean was topside, he needed to believe that Benny was more than he truly was. Dean needed to believe Benny was the exception to Dean’s very own monster rule, because if Benny wasn’t, then Dean would have to face his own dark self. He needed to believe that Benny who was a human, still had humanity left otherwise Dean would be nothing more than a monster himself.

Dean nearly destroyed his relationship with his brother in his attempt to deny the truth. When Sam couldn’t take Dean’s emotional abuse anymore, and when Dean, in his effort to keep Sam and Benny apart for fear that Sam would learn the real truth about what happened in purgatory, Dean sent Sam that despicable text, ultimately causing Sam to give Dean an ultimatum. Dean had to choose what valued most to him and of course he chose his brother. This ultimatum of course angered Dean, not so much because he had to let Benny go, but because he was forced to face the truth, a truth he has spent the first half of the season avoiding.

Dean’s inability to face his own demons has led to his current situation. Dean left Sam on that bridge and sought to punish himself rather than face his fear head on. Sure he knew Sam would be angry, but he never dreamed Kevin would die by Sam’s hands. The trickery and deception to keep Sam with him has completely gotten out of his control. The consequences of his actions were more than he can take and with that Dean ran. He ran from his brother, he was once again running from the truth. Instead of dealing with his fears, he punished himself for them and took on the Mark of Cain and the burden that comes with it.

Sam asked Dean in The Purge what the upside to his being alive was. Dean answered that it was the two of them fighting the good fight. Nowhere in that answer did Dean give Sam what he needed to hear. Sam needed to know that Dean kept him alive because he mattered to Dean. Dean’s answer made it seem like Dean only wanted Sam around because he feared being alone. This of course is in part the truth. Dean’s fear of what he would become without Sam in his life is one of the main reasons why Dean goes to the extremes he does. What Dean failed to let Sam understand was that it’s not the only reason. Sam does in fact matter to Dean more than anything, because he loves him more than he loves anything. Sam’s hurt leads him to telling Dean that he wouldn’t save Dean the same way in the same circumstances. Sam would never go against Dean’s wishes. Dean’s low self esteem misconstrues Sam’s words and has Dean believing Sam wouldn’t save him at all. Dean is so blinded by guilt and self pity, that he doesn’t notice that contrary to what Sam said, Sam’s actions illustrates the complete opposite. What happens to Dean next is his worst nightmare come true. He becomes the very thing he’s always feared himself to be. He’s become the very thing he’s always fought against being. He became the very monster that killed his parents. The thing is, had Dean been able to face his fear, to deal with his monster head on, to stay on that bridge and talk to his brother, to admit to Sam what and why he did what he did, he wouldn’t be in the precarious situation he is in now.

To be continued in part two

SPOILERS SWEETIES! Promotional Photos Supernatural 10x18 "Book of the Damned"

The next episode might be over a week away, but we have pictures and we have a lot of them! 

Look at all of them! Because they are...

1. Glorious!

2. Interesting!

3. Very worrying!

4. Funny!

5. Still very worrying! 

6. Really, really worrying,

7, Meep!

I'm really loving Sam's little satchel that he's been sporting of late. I guess it's a laptop bag, but it's super cute what ever it is. I bet he found it all dusty in the Men of Letters somewhere and thought it would be handy to stash his computer, and maybe a knife or gun or two. He looks like a gigantic schoolboy!

Yay Charlie! She went off on her quest and found the book!

Who's cabin is this? Do we know? Is it one of Charlie's hideouts? 

Or does it belong to the owner of the book? 

Dean looks ridiculously young in this photo and Sam looks ridiculously adorable with is little worried face and Mary Tyler Moore bob! :D

What's in the box! There looks like lots of good reseearch is going on in this episode, but I have a feeling it's not going to go anywhere *wibble*

I love Charlie, I'm looking forward to seeing her again! And I love Dean and Charlie. 

What on earth is this place with the animal on the wall! Ewwwww.

SAMMMMMY DON'T DO WHTEVER YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO!

Don't do it Sam. DON'T DO IT!

Bless. He still can't hold up an ID.

Angel? Cas be holding an angel blade, so my guess is yes.

Nice to see Cas wrapped up Metatron's leg.

Is there blood on that blade... I think there is. I love badassed Cas!

Look at this fantastic diner set. I totally want to go eat there. 

And I totally want to eat whatever the Fraggle is eating!

OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT? I WANT IT!

So we have 6 episodes and 6 weeks left until the end of the season. 

No more breaks.

OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE WE IN FOR?! 

I'M NOT READY!

Give me your theories! The ones that have bunnies and rainbows!

OH WHO AM I KIDDING! IT'S GOING TO BE THIS!

FOLLOWED BY THIS...

-sweetondean

Review - Supernatural 10x17 "Inside Man" - And So It Begins

How wonderful was this episode?! I loved every second of it. “Inside Man”, was such a fabulous character study. I could have watched the interactions between all the characters for hours. And it felt weirdly quiet, in the very best way. There was an overarching tension throughout that kept me feeling anxious, yet the episode was a quiet one, if that even makes any sense! This allowed us to be sucked into what was playing out even more. It was an hour that went by way too fast, and an hour I know I will watch again and again. Wait. I already have!

The road towards, what we’ve been told may be the most intense finale ever, has been a gloriously, torturous slow burn. Though the Winchesters have been on solid footing, this impending doom hangs over the brothers’, and consequently, all our heads. It’s like, we can see it coming, but it’s taking its time, creeping towards this ever-present darkness just waiting to pounce and crush our souls! I’ve enjoyed this pacing a hell of a lot. It’s been perfectly balanced, so well crafted, slowly making my fear escalate. This season has been well and truly about Sam and Dean and though our other characters have also had personal arcs, even their arcs have danced around and now come into full contact with the brothers’ story. I love how the show is always able to bring everything into one place like this, and with the story centring very much on the Winchesters, and something trying to destroy one or both of them, it makes this season feel totally old school. For me, this show is at its best when it focuses on what made this show great in the first place, The Winchester brothers, and then puts everything they are and everything that they hold dear, in peril.

This week, we had a very special guest star, Jim Beaver was back as Bobby Singer. What this did was make me realise how much I miss Bobby, and what he means to the boys. As much as they’re highly capable, grown men, the presence of Bobby in their world as a contemporary, but also as a parental figure, was something I thought Sam and Dean always benefitted from. Especially as their father was often away while they were growing up. I felt like Bobby was a grounding presence, a little bit of history in their world. They’d know and loved him since they were kids. And when he was reintroduced into their world when they were adults, he became a friend, ally and often and ear they could turn to for an outside perspective on their messed up existence, usually offering some sage advice. Sam and Dean both ended up loving him like a father, and his loss to them both was catastrophic. I realised, in seeing Bobby, just how much not having someone who has known them for many years, understands them, understands how they were raised and what that did to them, understands the work they do, understands their commitment to each other, is lacking in their lives. No one, outside of each other, knows them or their story as deeply as Bobby. And no one will ever be as honest with them as he always was. They need him. He could give them an outside view which had a very special lense. No one will every replace him in that regard.

When Bobby was killed off, I kind of understood what the Show was trying to do with the story, but I never really understood why it needed to happen, and I’ve always thought that, in the long run, it was a mistake. Like they weren’t looking at the long game. They weren’t seeing the possible benefits in the future of this character. What followed was even worse, with the vengeful spirit stuff. That always seemed disrespectful to not only the character of Bobby, but also his memory. Thankfully, in the Supernatural Universe, there is that ‘get out of dead free’ card, so we’ve seen Bobby a couple of times, in various incarnations, post being despatched by his boys. But he’s not and can never be alive – I assume – and that feels like a travesty, especially after spending a little time with him this week.

Seeing Bobby sitting in his Heaven, listening to The Gambler, reading Tori Spelling’s book, instantly felt right and good and it ripped at my heart, whilst making it sore. There’s just something about Jim Beaver and the character of Bobby. I thought I’d gotten over his loss, but just that one scene made me realise I hadn’t.

And to see how both the boys still think of Bobby and hold him in such a special place in their hearts, Sam stating that of course Bobby can do it, he’s Bobby. Dean referring to Bobby as wise, and passing on that wisdom to Crowley, it did my heart good and bad all in one. I dearly wished we’d had interaction between Bobby and the brothers, or at least Sam, as he was the one involved in the Bobby storyline. I wish Sam had been able to see Bobby, not just talk to him via the radio, not just read his words. Sam needs someone like Bobby right now to talk to, to bounce his fears and sadness off. *Sigh* I’m making myself sad!

As Sam knew he would, Bobby came through, as he wandered Heaven letting loose all the surly Bobbys (best.line.ever), trying to find the door to Heaven (number 42 – epic Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy reference – 42 is the answer to life, the Universe and everything.) Bobby was there for his adopted boys even from beyond the grave, and in the end, it looks like he paid a price for that. But you absolutely know, for him it was worth it. His written words to Sam made me cry buckets of tears and I’m so happy he was able to have this moment with Sam, even if he wasn’t technically there. Sam is a good man. He is one of the best. I’m so glad Bobby told him that, and I really hope Sam heard it. I also hope he heard Bobby’s words about coming clean to Dean, because these brothers, they’re stronger when they’re together, they can accomplish anything when they work as one. Bobby knows this; he’s seen it first hand. The Winchesters need Bobby in their world. I dearly hope somehow, we get to see Bobby again, maybe next time in a more substantial way. I would welcome him back in a heartbeat.

I won't lie, there have been times where I’ve struggled with the Rowena storyline, and I know I’m not alone. I’ve felt like her obvious manipulation of her son, Crowley, has been just that, obvious. We’ve known the King of Hell for five years, and we know he wouldn’t fall for her shite. He’s smart and ambitious and a master manipulator himself, so I struggled with why Crowley seemed to put up with her rubbish, though now we know, he was under the delusion that she was family.

I’ve also struggled with how often the Rowena character has seemed cartoonish in nature playing opposite the subtleness of Mark Sheppard. As much as Mark can chew up the scenery with the best of them, he’s a wonderfully understated actor. Sometimes Rowena seemed so big against him, it made her look ridiculous.

Until last week, with the Men of Letters reveal, my interest in her storyline had waned. Not because there wasn’t intrigue there, but more because the character simply wasn’t popping my cork. She was just too ridiculous at times for me to get overly invested.

This week was by far and away the best Rowena episode, and I wished she’d always been more like this. I also thought it showed the actor, Ruth Connell, at her finest. It was a much more underplayed performance and everything about it worked so much better. I'm now interested to see what Rowena's story holds and trouble she's going to cause for the brothers. I feel like it will be big.

Going after Dean, whatever the reason – and I’m kind of fuzzy on it, as I’m not entirely sure of what Rowena’s endgame is – was never going to go well. She said it was for her son, but surely keeping Crowley weak would play in her favour if her motivation were to get her talons on Hell. Maybe the shame of her son’s relationship with the Winchesters was too much for her to bear. Whatever her reasoning, it was foolhardy. Underestimating the Winchesters has killed many a ‘thing’ that has crossed their paths.

What was horrific and terrifyingly interesting was that she couldn’t kill Dean. The Mark of Cain will not let Dean die, or at least not Dean’s body. Which made me think of Jensen’s words at the recent Seattle convention, that Dean is not immortal, but his vessel might be. The Dean we know may ‘die’ but his body won’t and a new form of Dean would then take Dean’s place. It would still be Dean, but not the Dean we know. I thought Jensen was talking in possibilities, hypothetical’s, or maybe referring to Dean’s demon past. But now I’m scared shitless, as a few days later, BAM, Dean can’t be killed. I’m just going to start panicking right now, ‘kay?

Rowena was taught a serious lesson; you don’t get between Crowley and his Moose and Squirrel. And really, if Rowena had been able to kill Dean, Moose would have despatched her and her son in a heartbeat. Crowley knows that only too well. But not only that, no matter how he tries to play it – that he’s got the Winchesters where he wants them – I believe the truth to be, he simply likes those boys. There’s no denying that now. He likes them and begrudgingly respects them and is one of the few ‘things’ that doesn’t consistently underestimate them. Though I truly believe his trust in Dean Winchester will be his undoing – Cain’s prophecy coming to light or otherwise.

So Rowena is now pissed at everyone, and I’m pretty sure that’s not a great thing! But she has information about the Mark of Cain. As a curse, it can be removed, though she doesn’t know how. Figures. But having Dean Winchester well and truly in her sights, and wanting him dead, maybe motivation to try and find out how. Which could work in the brothers’ favour. Though that would be way too easy, and we know that nothing comes easy to the Winchesters. I wonder if Rowena will see out the end of the season? I feel like probably not. 

I wasn’t surprised that Crowley chose Dean over his mum. He has a much more positive history with Dean (hilariously), and a much more recent one. Their conversation in the bar was a thing to marvel at. I couldn’t help but laugh at what I was watching, but it seemed perfectly right. These two characters have come so far. These days, they’re both all manner of shades of grey. I actually felt proud of Dean and how he’s changed. How he can sit and talk with the King of Hell, if talking is of more benefit, rather than try to kill him. Both the brothers know that having someone running Hell who they have a functioning relationship with is far better than having an out and out enemy in control. Of course, for Dean there’s more to his relationship with Crowley. Crowley and Dean were once friends, in Dean’s early demon days, before he picked a side. They share an intimate history, just as Crowley and Sam do. It’s totally odd, but I totally love it!

To see Dean giving Crowley advise on family was equal parts, WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING, and totally perfect. Of course, it also works in the brothers’ favour to have Rowena out of Crowley’s picture, and I was well aware of this fact as Dean was gently persuading Crowley to kick his mum to the curb. Who’s manipulating whom now?

Whether Crowley is what he’s become because of the human blood or not, I don’t know. I keep thinking back to Meg and how she fell for Castiel and didn’t exactly end up hating the Winchesters. She worked with them, and though as with Crowley, they never entirely trusted her, they tolerated her. Meg also seemed to develop some attachment to the boys. They seemed to soften her edge. I wonder if being in proximity with Sam and Dean’s extreme humanity, reignited a little of her own humanity in Meg, and has now done the same for Crowley. Like how Cas has become more human the longer he’s been around Sam and Dean (and humanity in general).

I do believe Crowley is scared of Dean. He’s seen what the Mark of Cain means. He’s seen what Dean can do. He knows Dean’s vessel can’t be killed. He knows there’s basically nothing he can currently do to stop Dean if Dean wanted to take Crowley out. He’s playing for his future and just like the Winchesters; he’s keeping his enemies close. But still, seeing Crowley and Dean, these two past friends, past adversaries, current frenemies, sitting down to talk, rather than duke it out, was all kinds of wonderful. Over drinks (too many drinks, Dean…and the hard stuff *whimper*), Crowley with his sassy cocktail with the pitchfork swizzle stick. Perfection. Jensen and Mark were a delight to watch. I only wished the scene had gone longer. Like for an hour or so!

While Dean was conversing with Rowena and Crowley, Sam was with Cas trying to save Dean’s bacon. Oh Sam Winchester, you really are Samtastic. Sam’s determination this season to have Dean’s back and to find a way to save his brother gives me the biggest feels. I know it’s going to go somewhere dark for Sam, but I think I’m going to love it anyway, because I love these brothers doing whatever it takes for each other and Sam is so committed to this mission, he practically has blinkers on and I damn well love it. Season ten Sam is a thing of pure beauty, even with the bob.

Sam and Cas together, also give me feels. I adore their friendship. It took a good, long, while to become a thing, way too long really, but now they’re friends and working together, it’s kind of gorgeous. They have a shared empathy for each other’s mistakes, the world in general and a shared love for Dean that supersedes anything else in their lives. I’m pretty sure they’d drop anything for each other too.

I loved their little interaction outside the psychic’s door, when Cas wanted to kick it in and Sam totally judged him! Cas still has a bit of the awkward about him and I still appreciate it! The psychic, himself, was kind of epic too! And Sam’s so badass with his projecting bad things into the psychic’s mind, just so he knew what would happen if he said no! Sam towering over him. Gah! Sam! You magnificent creature.

Getting Metatron out of Heaven’s prison was fraught with danger, and I still reckon it’s going to bite them in the ass. But man, I freakin’ loved the scene where Cas slid into Heaven, damn I love this Cas, and I freakin' love the scene where Sam and Cas had Metatron in the playground. Metatron being the typical, arrogant shit that we’ve grown to love/hate, until Cas whips his Grace right out of him. They should have done that ages ago! And then, BAM! Sam shoots him in the kneecap! No hesitation. No mucking about. Just shoots him! I gasped and then swooned a little (that’s what this show’s done to me). That was seriously hot and seriously awesome and all kinds of other things! Go Sam Winchester! After everything that Metatron has perpetuated on Sam Winchester, that was a gunshot from the heart. Sam deserved that shot. He deserved that moment.

Jared proceeded to break my heart as he played the scene with Sam reading Bobby’s letter. Every single perfect word, from keep fighting, to kick it in the ass. Words Sam needed to hear so desperately. Words so familiar to all of us. Then.... a single man tear slipped down his face… damn these men. I love them to pieces. Sam rocked this episode. ROCKED IT!

One thing that got my heart racing during the Metatron scene was the mention of Lucifer. I threw my hands over my mouth. Would they go there? Was that just a throw away remark from Metatron, as Lucifer is associated with the Mark of Cain, or was that purposefully placed as foreshadowing (or to make us sweat because Show knows we over think this stuff). It got me thinking (see Show is right), the brothers must still have 3 of the Horseman’s rings. Dean picked up the ring combo after Sam went into the pit, but later returned Death’s ring in the deal to get Sam’s soul out of Hell. So the Winchesters have at least three of the rings that create the key that opens Hell’s cage! I know Dean would never allow tampering with Lucifer’s cage in order to be saved, but I’m not so sure that Sam wouldn’t go there! He’s pretty hell bent on saving his brother (pardon the epic pun)! But, to be honest, I think Sam’s dark road may come from another place, maybe witchcraft, maybe an alliance with Rowena. I think the Lucifer thing was probably a slight of hand to send us all off in the wrong direction! But man, did it get my brain going!

One of my favourite things about season ten – in fact, my favourite thing – has been the rebirth of the Winchester brothers’ epic bromance. Of course their love has always been there, it never, ever goes away, but this season we’ve seen them return to a place where they’re each other’s stone number one, where they’re turning to each other, relying on each other, trusting in each other, and it’s done my heart, and theirs, mighty good.

I mean, how much did I love seeing Sam tucked up in bed, then waking instantly when he heard Dean yelling his name, charging down the hall bare-foot in protection of his big brother, his glorious mane swishing around his lovely, worried face. And the fact that Dean is calling out for Sam while he’s having night terrors! Argh! The whole thing filled me with the biggest feels. Happy, gleeful feels and heartbroken, desperately sad feels, as only this show can do. Dean screaming out for his brother without even knowing it? I think this is perfection. I will always love when they call for each other for help, and now they’re even doing it without knowing. And I just love seeing the boys’ rooms, and them all snuggled in their beds (and not for the reasons you think). We so rarely see them do routine things like sleeping, and I adore it when we see stuff like this. Plus the fact that they have bedrooms still makes me all squishy inside. And they were sleeping UNDER the covers, which signals to me that there’s a level of comfort in the Bunker that they don’t feel elsewhere. And there were pranks! Sam should know better than to exit with a challenge to Dean, like stay out of my room. Dean's gleeful face as he butt squished Sam's pillow and rubbed Sam's toothbrush under his arm. Bless him, it was lovely to see.

I love everything about seeing Sam and Dean in the Bunker, even if they’re lying to each other – or at least, covering things from each other, which I guess is lying, but it’s seems like lesser lying on the Winchester scale of lies! And I’m hoping Bobby’s note will help to sort this out.

Dean’s nightmares signal to Sam that Dean’s getting worse. No matter how much Dean’s able to control the Mark whilst he’s awake, while asleep he’s reliving what he’s done under its influence and whilst as a demon. Dean is fighting so hard to stay himself. You can see his fight and you can see the toll it’s taking. He’s putting on a huge front for Sam, though whether he knows he’s doing that or not is debatable. Jensen said in his meet and greet in Vegas, that one of the tragedies of Dean’s situation is that while all this is happening to him, while the Mark of Cain is starting to change him, he’s not even aware of it, he’s not seeing it. He thinks he’s got a handle on it all, where it’s obvious that he hasn’t. I feel like we’re starting to see a bit of this developing and starting to seep through into Dean now.

I know a lot of people saw Dean going to the bar on his own as Dean trying to be normal. I must admit I didn’t read it that way. He’s obviously been to that bar a fair bit because he knows that barman and the barman knows his order! I just saw it as Dean was home alone and went to his local for dinner and a beer. But who knows. Either way it ended up turning out badly – in typical Winchester fashion. He probably should have whipped up a sandwich in the Men of Letters kitchen and popped on Braveheart!

I adored seeing Dean hustle pool though. This is something we know the boys have done for many years. This is a way they’ve made money since we first met them. And frankly, those college kids were asses and deserved an education Dean Winchester style! Mussing up his hair, winking and then going and playing his role like a real pro, Dean looked like he was actually enjoying himself! Bless his heart. Once he had them on the hook, they should’ve been able to tell they’d been taken just by the way Dean said, “Rack ‘em”! And watching Jensen shoot pool is never going to get old…

Dean’s black eyes flashing in the bathroom were, unfortunately popped in the promo. Was that a hallucination, or a sign that the Mark of Cain is taking Dean over? I put the sudden glimpse of black eyes in the same basket as the dreams. I saw it as a hallucination that showed how the Mark of Cain is starting to take control of Dean’s subconscious and conscious mind. Starting to play on his thoughts whilst asleep and awake – like his Hell memories did. Jensen played that moment, those few seconds, so deftly, we saw every single one of Dean's emotions flash across his beautiful face. 

But at least for now, Dean can still control the Mark of Cain, as was evidenced when he actively suppressed the urge to kill everyone in the bar for attacking him. Flashing back to past acts of violence stopped Dean perpetuating more violence and showed just how hard Dean’s working to suppress the dark thing rising up inside him. He took the hero road, as Rowena knew he would, to save those men from being destroyed. The Mark is trying to twist Dean back into a demon and Dean’s fighting it at every step. God help us all as we rocket towards the season finale. After last season’s horrors, I am seriously dreading where we’re going. I can’t even imagine what could be worse. Actually yes I can, but I don’t want to. Please don’t make me think about it!

“Inside Man” was definitely one of my favourite episodes in a season that is shaping up to be a favourite of the series. Family was front and centre throughout, this show's ongoing theme. It was beautifully penned by Andrew Dabb, with wonderful insights into every character. The drama was spot on, and the accompanying humour was pitch perfect. It moved along all the character’s arcs and well and truly set us up for the impending doom of the coming episodes. Every story is now interwoven, positioning the story perfectly for the remainder of the season. As usual, all the performances were first rate, and the dialogue popped and zinged as it was expertly delivered. A show in its tenth season, and heading into its eleventh season, just shouldn’t be this sharp, but ours is.

We have a week off before we get the next instalment in this rollercoaster ride we all love so much. I have a feeling there’s no respite from the horrors awaiting us.

I’m not ready! Hold me!

-sweetondean