35 Things I Love About Dean Winchester - A Birthday Tribute.

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His heart. Dean Winchester has a beautiful heart. He’s caring, even when he doesn’t mean to be and he’s softer than he wants anyone to know… but everyone still does.

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 His epic one-liners. Dean Winchester has a smart mouth and a quick wit.

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He’s great with kids. He knows how to talk to them. He’s patient and he’s gentle.

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His deep, gravelly voice. His voice has got sexier as he’s got older. Now, he almost growls!

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His flirty nature. He can flirt like no one else and he knows when to use it. He’s absolutely aware of his charms.

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His explosive anger. I love Dean when he’s cranky. It’s super hot.

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The way he wears flannel/t-shirts/henleys/no shirt/jeans. He’s basically a clothes horse.

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He can be silly and playful. He has a goofy side that’s super endearing.

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His passion for the ladies. He loves women and he’s not afraid to show it or say it.

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He loves classic rock. Any man who loves AC/DC is good with me.

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He’s brave and badassed. He takes no shit and will stand and fight until the end. 

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His love of porn and how he's not shy about loving porn. There's a kind of joy to that.

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His fear of flying. He owns it and that’s kind of cool.

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He’s a gentle lover. The way he never lost eye contact with Anna as he pulled off her jeans… 

Hot damn.

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He’s not afraid to show his feelings. He will tell you how he feels when he needs to, or wants to and that includes telling you how much he cares for you and how important you are to him.

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He secretly loves to hug. The guy's a hugger. He gives good hug.

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His mind. Dean’s whip smart. He can assess a situation quickly and he can figure out most anything. Even when you think he’s being fooled, he’s on to it.

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He’s loyal. Sometimes to a fault and sometimes to his own detriment. But he will always fight for those he loves no matter what.

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He's deeply damaged. He’s so broken inside, but something about that makes him even more beautiful because all you want to do is hold him and protect him.

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He rolls with the punches. It's like you can't shock him. He just goes, "Okay" and goes with it.

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His love of the magic fingers. Dean’s a pleasure machine. He loves feeling good. Though he doesn't often get a chance to.

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His inner strength. He keeps getting up to face each day. How he can do that, sometimes baffles me.

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His future thigh holster. That is quite possibly the hottest thing ever.

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He doesn’t quit, even when he wants to. He will keep going, even if he’s desperate to stop. Dean will never, ever stop fighting.

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He’s adaptable. Put him in 1944 or 1861 or prison and Dean will fit in.

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His bowlegs. They are perfection. Long walking shots of Dean are a thing of beauty.

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His tattoo. It’s just hot. I wish we'd see it more.

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He’s sassy. He can be about to get his heart ripped out, literally and he can still sass. He even back talked Lucifer.

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His flaws. I think his flaws make him beautiful and I love each and every one of them. He's far from perfect, which weirdly makes him perfect.

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His love of the Impala. Damn, he loves that car and he takes real good care of her.

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He’s a hero without even thinking about it. It's just who he is.

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His one perfect tear. Breaks my damn heart every time.

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His face. His face is so stunning it's like looking into the sun. The freckles... The green eyes... The lashes... The lips. When he smiles he lights up the world. When he cries we all cry with him.

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His love of family. Family means everything to Dean and he accepts people as family whether they’re blood or not.

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How he loves Sam.

He loves his brother so completely. He loves him more than anything in the world. Sam is Dean's heart and soul. 

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Happy 35th birthday baby 

I love you to the moon and back

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I could have gone on and on...hard to stop at 35! What are the things you love most about Dean?

-sweetondean

RATINGS BABIES! Supernatural rocks it!

Well, hey. I don't usually do ratings posts...though I LOVE me some ratings.

In case you don't know I work in promos in network television so ratings are a part of my everyday. Like every morning...I check the ratings. Sometimes the nature of my day and how stressful it will be hangs off those pesky numbers! New show launches....NERVOUS NEXT MORNING!

So ratings babies! Yeah.

Last night's Supernatural - episode 9.11 "First Born" - was a CRACKER and our ratings showed it. Actually what our ratings have shown this season is an increase in audience - regardless of the move to Tuesday - and a holding steady of audience numbers, implying a viewer satisfaction and engagement with the show.

I'd also add, that week to week our numbers are higher than The Originals - which is also doing great. So our numbers increase from our lead in show. Last year with our lead in being Arrow, our numbers dropped slightly. Arrow's numbers were very strong. It's a lead in show's job to keep the audience "flow" (sorry Priestly) through to the next show, that's why having the lead in show match with the show it precedes, having similar target audiences, is so important. Both Arrow and The Originals have show to be an excellent lead in, BUT this season we have more people tuning in when Supernatural starts, than tuning out. WHICH IS EXCITING! 

So what were last night's numbers?

1.1 and 2.70 million viewers! 

Not only that, Supernatural had its most watched episode since 2010! Statistically a drama in its 9th season would have lower ratings, or at least flat ratings. It's beyond unusual for a drama with this lifespan to grow an audience!

MOST WATCHED EPISODE SINCE 2010!

Oh yeah baby!

Here's the press release.

Last night's Supernatural was the series' most watched episode (2.7M) in more than three years (10/15/10).

Week to week, Supernatural was up 22% in total viewers and up 10% in both W18-34 (1.1/3) and in A18-49 (1.1/3), and flat in A18-34 (0.9/3).

Supernatural outrated original episodes of ABC's comedies in the 9pm hour in A18-34, and W18-34, and outrated Trophy Wife in the 9:30-10pm half hour in A18-49.

Well shit! So awesome! 

Now - 2 things. Apparently in some markets (2.4%) the show was pre-empted for Basketball, so these numbers may be adjusted up a little bit when the final numbers come through for the episode. Also, it'll be interesting to see where the numbers end up sitting once the LIVE+7days DVR numbers come in. 

Here's a little chart that shows our increase year on year to date. This is via TVSeriesFinal.com and reflects the all important 18-49 demographic (the demo most illusive and therefore most attractive to advertisers). These numbers do include the LIVE+7days DVR ratings, though as this was posted today - 22 January 2104 - it will not include the most recent DVR ratings. 

Supernatural is the only returning series on the CW to grow in audience numbers!

It was a fantastic episode. It's been an amazingly consistent and intriguing season. 

Congratulations to everyone at Supernatural. 

YOU GUYS! YOU ROCK!

Can anyone say early pickup?

-sweetondean

Dean Winchester and the Bunny Slippers Fanart competition... And The Winner Is!

We have a winner!

I wrote a little story about Dean Winchester getting stuck in a pair of bunny slippers and it just screamed for some fanart to accompany it!

So I decided to run a competition, giving away a banner signed by Jared, Jensen and Misha.

I sent out the call and got some great entries. They were all so awesome. I love them all! 

But... I only have one banner, which meant I had to choose!

So...

*DRUM ROLL*



And the winning entry comes from...

SIV!


Siv @Kiwisplasj created this brilliant piece, complete with Dean Winchester Chibi!

I love Sam laughing his ass off as Dean scowls and love the detail of the swords on the shelf and that bunny poking his head over one of the photos!

Well done Siv! This banner which I got signed by Jared, Jensen and Misha at Vegascon 2013 is now yours! Congratulations! Your fanart is awesome!

All the pieces entered were fantastic and I want to thank everyone for being part of this really fun project! 

I had so much trouble picking a winner, I decided to give a runner-up prize!

And the runner-up is Aggie!

Aggie, I'm going to be sending you a TV Guide magazine featuring the Supernatural Fan Favourite winning cover and a print of a couple of my personal photos from Vegascon. One of Jensen and one of Jared. I hope you enjoy them.

I think Aggie's drawing is so cute. I love the way Dean's feet are propped up on the table and the insert with the photo pinned to the Impala, complete with bandy legs is a great touch. So fun! And the fluffy pink bunny slippers are adorable!

This is how it looks as a book cover!

While Aggie was working on her piece she sent me this one too!

Here are the rest of the fantastic entries.
I loved them all so much I'll be popping a couple of prints of my personal photos of the guys from Vegascon into the mail to everyone. I hope you all like them!


Here's Sophie's entry @ SophieHopkinsX 

I love that the slippers look like they're magical, because they were! Sophie really caught a familiar picture of Dean too. Great work Sophie!

The next one is from Jilly @jillyrulz

Jilly managed to get a couple of Sam and Dean dolls to actually pose for her! Adorable! I really love the Allen's bunny slippers box and Sam's knife! Nice touch, Jilly!
(By the way, is that Jensen's signature I see poking out of Dean's sleeve?)

Roxy patchworkcas.tumblr.com sent in a couple versions. Dean's face is hilarious. He's so proud of himself and so happy with his slippers! Look at him! I adore the "You love them". So cute!

And Sue @suenash19 sent in this wonderful drawing.

Don't you love Sam's laugh and well, Dean in a singlet. I'm not complaining!

Pop me an email, guys with postal addresses and I'll get your prizes to you!

Please join me in congratulating everyone on their epic skills!

Thank you so much for reading the story and liking it enough to want to contribute some of your brilliant art!

You guys ROCK!

-sweetondean

The Light on Spoilers Heavy on Squee Preview of Supernatural 9.11 "First Born"

It seems like only yesterday that we were desperately waiting for the season to start back up again and here we are at 9.11 already! Where'd that week go?

I'm so excited for this episode because:

1. I want to know what happens next between Sam and Dean! A lot. Like NOW.
2. Crowley and Dean. 'Nuff said.
3. Sam and Castiel. I have a feeling their interactions are going to be great!
4. Cain. What will the first born son bring to the mythology of the Winchesters. We know that they trace back to Cain and Abel, so what will it all mean?
5. Dean fighting all over the furniture. YES!

Just to refresh your memory, here's the synopsis.

TIM OMUNDSON ("PSYCH") GUEST STARS AS CAIN --- Looking to reclaim his place as King of Hell, Crowley (Mark Sheppard) asks Dean (Jensen Ackles) for help finding "The First Blade," the only blade that can kill Abbadon (guest star Alaina Huffman). Knowing he owes Crowley a favour for helping Sam (Jared Padalecki), and also wanting Abaddon dead himself, Dean reluctantly agrees and the two set off on a road trip. However, Dean and Crowley are completely unprepared when they find out who has the blade - Cain (guest star Omundson), the first son. Meanwhile, Sam is back at the bunker with Castiel (Misha Collins) who notices there is some leftover grace inside Sam. If they can extract it, they can use the grace to track Gadreel. The only problem is the procedure may do permanent damage to Sam. John Badham directed the episode written by Robbie Thompson (911).

It all sounds soooo good. Plus Robbie Thompson AND John Badham who directed War Games, Saturday Night Fever, Short Circuit...just to name a few classic movies! So excited about John Badham directing. Gosh we get talent on this show.

Timothy Omundson said that he watched Jensen fight for 9 hours this day. It's going to be a good fight! Bet the poor thing was saw the day after! Badass Dean. Mmmmmm.

Let's look at the promo

Oh this is going to be sooooo interesting. I absolutely love this. I love the idea of Crowley and Dean working together. At some stage Crowley is going to have to become the enemy again, but for now, I'm enjoying his interactions with the Winchesters on a frenemy level.

Dean looks so scruffy too. Which is awesome. Though of course sad. Of course. Sad. Of course. (Hot). I'm interested to see if Crowley offers any pearls of wisdom that might make Dean think twice about his decision to go it alone. I hope so.

What about the sneak peek?

I like this clip. I like seeing Sam and Castiel interacting like this. I really, really, really like that they're in the bunker and Sam's popped out for supplies. I keep saying this all over the place, but even though he let his brother walk away, Sam went home. I think that's awesome. I hope his intent is to stay there. P-lease Sammy. *insert puppy eyes here*

I'm hoping that Cas will get through to Sam and make him realise why Dean did what he did and help him to see that the brothers need each other. I'm hoping that it'll be Sam that reaches out to Dean. Tells him to come home. Use that specific word. Yeah, yeah, I know... not gonna happen except of fanfic.net!

Of course we know that Cas says, "You and Dean chose each other" to Sam (from that season 9 promo). Let's hope the angel get's through to Sam. Please. Guys, you're better together...remember? Geesh.

We got a little bit more informaion on this episode via Clariss at Screenfad

About Dean and Crowley:

”Dean and Crowley have an especially juicy relationship in terms of being two foes who are constantly butting heads with each other and getting one-up on each other. To see them, for lack of a better term, being in a buddy cop episode, we really play into all the fun there of these two opposites being forced to work together, which also turns into something quite interesting and unique when it comes to their relationship.”

About Sam and Cas:

"...what we’re going to see are two guys who are, if not rediscovering, are aware of the parallels in their journeys and I think that’s part of their experience together in [this] episode. I think you’ll see both dealing with each other in a way that directly corresponds to the journeys they’ve taken so far this season, as you were saying. It’s impossible for them not to do what they’re setting out to do in that episode without being affected by what’s happened so far with this season. They’re dealing with a lot of issues together.”

You can read the whole interview with Jeremy Carver here

I'm praying to whom ever will listen that by the end of this episode we see the brothers making their way back to each other, if not emotionally at least physically. They've only ever spent one whole episode apart - "Free To Be You And Me", though it feels like there's been more! If they don't reunite in 9.11, at least we know they do in 9.12. Is it the plight of a pal that brings them together?

We shall find out!

If you want to see the rest of the promo pics from this episode, they are here.

I'm so happy our show is back!
-sweetondean

STOP THE PRESS!

Here's the CHCH promo!

"Where's your brother now then?" A-hem. Dean? I think I'm going to like this Cain guy!

Oooooooo! Can't wait for this ep! CAN'T WAIT!

tiny voice *hurry*

Spoilers Sweeties! What's next for Sam and Dean?

So... they broke up. Again. This time, it was Dean who walked away, deciding he was too poisonous to be around, even for Sam. *sigh*

Well, what's next? Will they find their way back to each other (yes, d'uh). Jared talked to Vlada Gleman at TV|Line.

Jared predicts that, "it’s going to take something big” to bridge the gulf between them.

“They’re handling it as you expect them to,” Padalecki adds of the conflict. “Sam kind of goes introverted and Dean goes forward. Sam is more the kind of guy that thinks something out and says, ‘Well, you know, this is where you messed up [and] this is why I’m upset.’… It’s nice dichotomy to catch on camera and, hopefully, Jensen [Ackles] and I get a chance to do a good job with it.”

Meanwhile, Sam will be dealing with the residual effects from Gadreel’s stint in his body. “It’s more emotional than literal and physical, but he certainly is still feeling the bruises,” admits Padalecki.

Okay. We need something big pronto. It sounds like the brothers are going to be working together eventually, well episode 9.12 for sure, but probably not dealing. Again. 

I want to shake them! They need to talk. They are the worst communicators in the history of communicating, meaning the history of the world! I hope Sam says all the somethings he thinks out in his out loud voice and Dean listens. Dean... listen. 

Both are going to be hurting emotionally. You know who they need to get them through this time... THEIR BROTHER. GAH. Boys. Dumbasses. (I loves them).

Jared goes on to discuss the spinoff and how excited he is. You can read the whole interview here.

Over at Screenfad, Clarissa has more from The Carver about what to expect from this week's episode.

Dean and Crowley are on a mission to find the "first sword" so that Crowley can take on Abaddon. The "first sword" is owned by the first son, Cain, played by Psych star, Timothy Omundson. 

But Crowley and Dean working together?  Dogs and cats living together – mass hysteria...

Here's what Carver had to say.

”Dean and Crowley have an especially juicy relationship in terms of being two foes who are constantly butting heads with each other and getting one-up on each other. To see them, for lack of a better term, being in a buddy cop episode, we really play into all the fun there of these two opposites being forced to work together, which also turns into something quite interesting and unique when it comes to their relationship.”

Awesome! I'm loving this whole idea. LOVING IT!

What about Sam, what will he be up to? Well, he'll be back at the bunker (yay!) recuperating and Castiel will be by his side.

"...what we’re going to see are two guys who are, if not rediscovering, are aware of the parallels in their journeys and I think that’s part of their experience together in [this] episode. I think you’ll see both dealing with each other in a way that directly corresponds to the journeys they’ve taken so far this season, as you were saying. It’s impossible for them not to do what they’re setting out to do in that episode without being affected by what’s happened so far with this season. They’re dealing with a lot of issues together.”

I like the idea of Sam and Cas finally having some time together to talk. I've always thought they'd have an excellent understanding of each other, but they've never had much of a chance to hang out and discover that.

The thing is, what is often so interesting for the brothers is to see themselves and their relationship reflected back at them. It's the outsiders who have a clearer picture of the brothers because the brothers are so close, they can't see the good of who they are and what they have for the trees (or the hurt and lies). 

We've had Jody this season say to Sam that what he has with Dean is something special, the kind of something people search for but that Sam and Dean already have. With Crowley's lingering humanity and obvious, begrudging affection for Moose and Squirrel and with Castiel's understanding of the brothers and deep connection to them, hopefully the boys will be in the company of two people who can shake them up, open their eyes and make them think. I'm sure Cas will be taking this role with Sam and I hope, Dean's time with Crowley will be equally as illuminating.

Jeremy goes on to give some more juicy detail about Cain and what the introduction of this character will mean for the mythology of the Winchester brothers. You can read the whole interview here.

As usual, I choose to go forward with optimism. Optimism that these brothers of ours get to where they need to be emotionally to finally understand what they mean to each other. I mean, they know that of course...they just forget sometimes. 

That conversation that they started in "Sacrifice", that they couldn't continue because of what happened to Sam, they need to continue that conversation. That was simply the start of the healing, now it's time to understand each other and what they have and mend their broken relationship once and for all. It took 4 seasons for them to say those words in "Sacrifice", I don't expect them to be all lollipops and rainbows overnight, or ever probably, but happy together...that's all I want for them because I think it's all they want.

Here's hoping.

-sweetondean

Supernatural News: The week that was. January 19 edition.

What a week! So much good news and awesome gorgeousness! Plus hellatus finished! Yay!

So what were the highlights from this Supernatural week that was?


With the new episode looming and the Television Critics' Association tour happening, it was time for The Carver to spill some beans on what to expect in the back end of the season. Excuse me while I laugh out loud! Jeremy Carver is incapable of spilling beans! He is the spolierphobes of all spoilerphobes. But we did get some interviews and he did talk about Castiel's arc, the upcoming Crowley/Dean episode (this week!), Kevin and the plight of the prophets - we've got an answer to that already, Dean's dark angsty mood and the brothers and Sam's reaction to the Gadreel fiasco. We started to see the beginnings of that at the end of the new episode, so reading what he said with hindsight becomes more even interesting.

You can find some of the (non) spoilers and links to various interviews here.


Next up we got the synopsis for episode 9.13 and the title for episode 9.17 - "Mother's Little Helper" which by the way, is the episode that Misha is directing. I think he'll start prepping that soon! As well as promo pics from this week's episode, 9.11 guest starring Timothy Omundson.


At the CW panel at the Television Critics' Association media tour, the head of the network, Mark Pedowitz, spoke about the future of Supernatural. In case you didn't know, Mark's a fan. He watches the show with his daughter and the Js have both spoken about how he's visited them on set and wined and dined them. So we have Mr Pedowitz very much on our side. 

So how long can Supernatural go? That depends on us, the viewers, to keep tuning in and by the sounds of things, the Js and the people making the show, because Mark, he's cool to see it go on and on! 

Awww fanboy! He doesn't want to let go either. 

He also discussed a little bit about the Supernatural spinoff, which we knows kicks into gear in 9.20. You can read the article from IGN here.

Then...OH MY GOSH, SUITS!

It was announced during the week - actually just before the event, that Jensen and Jared would be presenting at this year's Critics' Choice Movie Awards! And present they did. In tuxedos and all!

In front of an audience that included the likes of Tom Hanks, Martin Scorsese, Leonardo DiCaprio and Oprah, our beautiful boys got up and presented the award for Best Animated Feature. And they shone. They were awesome. Plus they were the best looking dudes in a room full of good looking dudes! Actually, they were even prettier than all the ladies! 

The Js walked the red carpet. Danneel joined Jensen but Gen stayed in Vancouver with the new bub. They did several interviews and we got lots of red carpet and back stage snaps. Such a treat.

Last time they presented was 2006! Look at the babies! Naww.

I got all the shots and red carpet interviews and a video of their presentation in what has become an epic blog post! So if you missed anything, you'll probably find it here. Enjoy, and you're welcome! (So proud of them.)


We welcome a new baby to the Supernatural family! A.J. Buckley and his finace have a baby girl! Congratulations A.J.!

And of course we got a new episode.

Supernatural was back with a bang that left us all whimpering. "Road Trip" was a cracker, emotionally powerful and set up some intriguing and heart wrenching scenarios. If you'd like to read my thoughts on the episode and what I think the "problem" might be, my review is here.

And that my friends was the Supernatural week that was!

-sweetondean

Review - Supernatural 9.10 "Road Trip"

The Sweet, Sweet Agony of Supernatural...

The opening scene of “Road Trip”… I’d played that out in my head. I’d imagined that hunter’s burial. I’d imagined Dean’s pain. I’d had 6 week’s to ponder it and ponder it I did.

When we finally got to see that moment, it was even more emotional than I thought it could be. Because, the pyre. I looked at that pyre and I thought; Dean had to cut ever piece of that wood. Filled with grief and anger, he had to go out and chop wood to honour Kevin. Every swing of the axe filled with more anguish and fury. Dean would have been emotionally destroyed, exhausted, broken, in agony over the events that just unfolded and yet he had to find the strength to cut all that wood. Then he had to place each and every log into position. Carry Kevin’s body from the bunker. Place it in the structure. Pour fuel on it and watch it burn. Hear it. Smell it.

And all of this, he did alone.

I thought about this scene a lot. The scene we didn’t see.

I loved the opening of “Road Trip”. It grabbed me by the throat and tore at my heart as only Supernatural and Dean Winchester can do. The sheer devastation. The violent outburst in the bunker. The confusion and rage and deep, aching sadness that comes along with the realisation that someone you care for is gone forever…and there is nothing you can do about it. Helplessness.

Of course Dean had the added emotion of knowing that he was partly to blame for this horrible turn of events, because this is one death that he may well have been able to stop. He didn’t place the offending hand on Kevin and burn him from the inside out, but he might have been able to prevent that happening. If he’d told Kevin the truth, if he’d got Kevin to a safe place when he realised he didn’t know who the angel was that had taken hold of his brother… 

And all of this, every last bit of this torment, anger, regret was etched into Dean’s face and weighted in his body. It was in every action. All to Bob Seger’s “Famous Final Scene”. What made this scene even more powerful as it played out in front of our tear filled eyes was the lack of sound effects. The silence. Just music. As Dean tore up the bunker, all we heard was music. Magnificent. Crushing. Heartbreaking. Perfect.

Supernatural was back with bang…the kind of bang only our show can deliver. The kind that you feel for days.

During “Road Trip” I cried, I laughed, I yelled at my TV, at one point I literally stood up and watched what was unfolding from a standing position in the middle of my lounge room, with my fists balled into my face. There was a moment where it all got too much for me to actually stay seated! I’d spent the day in rapturous anticipation. As the US started watching, I felt my phone buzzing on my desk as various tweets came through. Then Jared started live tweeting (along with just about the whole cast and crew). Buzz buzz buzz! It was torture. Knowing that most of my friends had already watched it. Desperately trying not to crack and look at twitter! I raced home. Threw some food at my dog and put on the episode. I didn’t even get out of my work clothes! I was just that desperate. Oh Supernatural. Only for you.

As much as I’d enjoyed that Gadreel/Sam storyline, I was ready to have it end. I was ready to get Sam back. I felt the same with Soulless Sam. I loved him. Then I didn’t. I needed Sam back in the world. I need his balance.

I sure wasn’t ready to hear Dean say to get the angel out of his brother he was prepared to end Sam, but I understood it. He didn’t want his brother walking around out there either being suppressed or totally burnt away by the halo. A Sam shell. He’d rather Sam be dead, because that’s how Sam would want it. It takes a while for Dean to get to places sometimes… We saw this with Soulless Sam too, that moment when Sam was in the panic room and you saw the realisation drift across Dean’s face that he might have to kill Sam if there was not another option. Thankfully there’s always another option! Surprisingly it comes in the shape of Death or this time, the King of Hell!

Ah Crowley, how I love you so. Mark Sheppard is a treasure. Pure and simple. I think we’re incredibly blessed to have him. The way Crowley knows every button to push. He can get at Dean in a second by talking about Sam. He can get at Castiel in a second by just being annoyingly funny! Cas has never been great at understanding the subtleties of humour! Plus flirty Crowley is charmingly infuriating. But what was so beautiful about Crowley in this episode was the lingering results of the trials and the indication that he’s still being affected a little by his humanity. Not just in his interactions with Sam, whilst inside Sam (it got crowded in Sam!) but also his statement to Abaddon that he knows that the way to win the battle for Hell is via hearts and minds, that the demon’s have a choice. Not through the fear tactics of Abaddon (gosh I love her too), but in ways that appeal to the demon’s selfish needs. I think this is something Crowley has always understood, but I feel like there was another layer to how he said it in this episode. He has a different understanding now with his pesky humanity still hanging around. One thing I did wonder about was all the exposition around Castiel and his season plight. Is this something that Crowley is going to use against Cas? The stolen grace issue? Or is it purely of interest to Crowley, as in many ways him and Cas are dealing with similar issues in getting in touch with their human sides.

Castiel never gives up on humanity and that’s something I’ve always loved about him. He has made catastrophic errors of judgement but like he said, everything he did he did for the right reason. That’s not an excuse and he knows it, but I think this is why he can understand Sam and Dean so well and I think it’s also part of the reason he’s so drawn to them, because he sees in them this need to always do the right thing. Even though they so often fail, they keep trying. It’s the most human of traits and one that Castiel, regardless of his angelicness, has always had.

The interactions between Cas and Dean in “Road Trip” were a tour de force of nuanced performances from both Misha and Jensen. A lovely recognition of the friendship and understanding between the characters. I like Dean and Cas’ friendship a lot, when it’s represented as it was in this episode. There has been a lot of water under the bridge for them both, but they’re still able to maintain a friendship and you can see a genuine affection between them. The scene where Dean asked how Cas was doing was particularly moving. It was even instilled with the tiniest bit of humour, which we so often manage to do in our darkest moments. Andrew Dabb’s script was spot on.

I’ve admitted before that I’m not particularly interested in the angel war. I think this is because we don’t really get to see any of it and we aren’t given long enough to engage with any of the characters introduced, except Metatron and Gadreel. Metatron is a manipulator that manipulates and the fact that Gadreel doesn’t see he’s being used shows that the angel is a dumbass! I have the distinct feeling these killings are being requested of Gadreel as more than just a show of faith. There is a reason to them. Whether it’s as simple as just getting rid of possible enemies as Metatron positions himself to take over as God, or whether there is some other more nefarious reason, I’m not sure. But there’s more to it and Gadreel is an idiot to go along with the megalomaniacal angel who is determined to be in control of the BIG story.

Gadreel. Let me just say straight up, Jared has done a spectacular job with this character and continued to do so in “Road Trip”. I didn’t even see Sam when we saw Gadreel. Not once.

There was something in Gadreel that seemed intrinsically good when we first met him, I had such high hopes and even as he fell under Metatron’s spell, you could see that what he was doing did not sit right with him. But things seemed to have changed. I think the killing of Abner took Gadreel to a different place. He killed a friend. For no reason he knew of other than to remain in Metatron’s good graces so that he could finally clear his name and retake his place in Heaven. There is such a selfish, arrogance in the angels, it’s just… I really don’t like them. It’s hilarious that Supernatural has totally changed my take on angels! I like demons way better! Maybe Gadreel will still get his redemption arc…but at this stage, I really don't care.

When we finally got Gadreel bound in that chair I think his true nature came out and it was nasty. Damaged. Full of anger and threats and hatred. I mean, what the hell. He was busted. He could just bug out and go back to his old vessel (which ended up happening), what was the point of hanging on to Sam at that stage. He was being poked at and prodded with pointy objects. Why was that in his best interest? Other than he’s simply an arrogant ass. Probably that. I kept thinking, just get out of Sam, why are you keeping him now, the jigs up, why go through this, just out of spite and general nastiness? Did I miss something, because once caught, I couldn’t see the point of hanging around in Sam any longer. He could jump Tahmoh Penkett’s character again (does he have a name?) and still be incognito. Get out you winged dick! Though I guess he thought being in Sam might have protected him from Dean (yeah right!) and it did make for one of the best scenes the show has ever done, so from that aspect alone, I’m glad Gadreel dug his nasty assed angel heels in.

Yes this is the scene I stood up in. Gosh, the torture of Gadreel/Sam was horrific. I was with Dean, I couldn’t watch. Jensen throughout this episode was beyond amazing with how he demonstrated to us Dean’s emotional state. I felt everything Dean felt. Everything. Every look on Jensen’s face, every movement of his body, the tone of his voice…it all hurt. When Dean had to leave the room as Sam screamed… *wibble to infinity and beyond* 

Dean’s eyes were full of tears as he asked Castiel to humour him and tell Dean how he was doing. Man, he’s a powerful actor is our Mr Ackles. He makes me feel all the feels. Wonderful ones and hurty ones.

The moment Crowley went into Sam is when I jumped to my feet. I just couldn’t sit for a moment longer! I was yelling and screaming and my fist were squished into my face and my goodness it was wonderful. 

I think Crowley likes Moose; I actually think he quite likes Squirrel too. Not that he’d ever admit to either, but I think he has a begrudging respect for the Winchesters. I loved the moments between Crowley and Sam in Sam’s head, (or body I guess), particularly when Crowley told Sam that Kevin’s death was not his fault. There was a level of trust between them in that moment that I think goes back to their connection during the trials. How could that not change at least a little something in their relationship. They saw each other raw and broken down. Oh my gosh, it’s just all so delicious! And Sam kicked serious ass when he pinned Gadreel to the dreamland bunker floor and told him to get the hell out. Sam can be as bad as his badass brother when he wants to be.

Okay, let’s talk about Sam and Dean and that final scene. 

As difficult as I found this scene to watch, I also found it immensely satisfying. I didn’t expect Sam to be full of anger, more hurt and disappointed and that’s what we got. I didn’t expect Dean to apologise, because saving Sam is something he’s never going to stop wanting to do, that’s so ingrained in him anything else would have felt wrong, so that’s what we got. Plus a little space and distance is probably what Sam needs as he continues to heal. Their faces though. Oh my poor boys. Jensen and Jared killed that scene…and me. In that moment, Castiel watching the brothers as their sorrow unfolded, represented us. Watching helplessly as two people we all love, ache and hurt more than words can express.

I liked the moment where Dean owned that it was who he was to save Sam if there was any way to do so. That it’s not in him to let Sam die. If he had apologised, it would have felt in genuine. Because regardless of the overall outcome and regardless of his self loathing and regardless of how Crowley’s words have finally taken root inside him and regardless of how he now thinks Sam looks at him, his brother was standing upright in front of him, living and breathing and that’s all Dean wants, even if Dean thinks he can no longer be around Sam to enjoy that, it doesn’t matter, Sam’s got another chance to live his life.

When Dean said he was poison and had to go, oh the agony. I think he expected Sam to stop him. I wanted Sam to stop him so bad. So, so bad. But Sam was in no place emotionally to do that. It reminded me of the end of “Good God Y’all” when Sam left because he felt he was a danger to Dean and Dean let him go. Sam looked surprised. In “Road Trip” you saw that same surprise cross Dean’s heartbroken face as Sam told him he wouldn’t stop him leaving. Oh…boys… ACK!

But what I think was really going on was that Sam was disappointed that Dean said he was going to leave and go after Gadreel alone because…Dean wasn’t considering Sam. He simply decided that he was not worth being around, that Sam would be safer, better off without Dean and that any retribution was on him and he would to do it alone. Once again he didn’t give Sam the choice. Dean chose the brother's course. I think that’s why Sam let him go…

And therein lies the rub.

I’ve always felt that Sam was only ready to die because he believed there was no other way. He asked, in his own head to the Dean side of himself, what’s the plan? When it became clear there wasn’t a plan, Sam faced death and realised he was ready, if this was his path, he was cool with it. He didn’t want anyone else to be hurt because of him. No more resurrections. That was supposed to be his ending. It was his decision. And Dean took that from him. And more people died.

Not that I don’t understand, Dean's actions. I do. It’s who Dean is and that’s a big part of what makes me love him so much. If it was Dean lying in that hospital bed and it was Sam making that decision, I have a feeling it would have gone the same way. We’ve seen Sam go to extreme lengths for Dean too. Sam may be quieter in the ways he shows his need for Dean, but that need is most definitely there. It shows itself in his need for Dean’s acceptance and approval and this right here is the big problem.

How Sam sees Dean seeing him is not how Dean sees himself seeing Sam. Does that make sense? That’s why Dean looked shocked at Sam’s reaction at the end of “Sacrifice”. He knows he’s kicked Sam when he’s down, but he didn’t have any idea he was making Sam feel like he was a great big disappointment, because that’s not how Dean sees his brother. He loves Sam. There have been things Sam has done that have disappointed Dean (and visa versa) but that does not mean that Sam is a disappointment to Dean or that Dean doesn’t believe in Sam. He does. I think Dean is proud of Sam and who he’s become. You can see it in him. But Sam does feel like he’s a disappointment and when Dean makes decision on his behalf, that just compounds things. He feels like Dean doesn’t trust him, doesn't believe he is capable and I don’t think Dean will ever come to understand this, because somewhere inside, he still thinks the sun shines out of his little brother.

“But don’t go thinking that’s the problem because it’s not”

Cryptic much? But I think that Sam’s parting shot was about all of this. People dying around Dean is not the problem. Walking away is not going to solve what the problem is. For Sam, I think it’s about Dean not respecting who Sam is and not respecting Sam’s choices. Consistently. It’s not the lying; it’s the lack of trust. Sam sees it as a lack of belief in him, even if that’s not where it’s coming from, from Dean’s perspective. 

*whispers* JUST SIT DOWN AND TALK FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

I think this is what we’re going to be looking at in the brother’s relationship as we move forward into the season. Dean’s inability to let go, to allow Sam to grow up. Essentially, his inability to let Sam make choices that are good for Sam, which might not be good for Dean. “Sometimes you got to do what's best for you, even if it's gonna hurt the ones you love.” That’s what Dean did. He knew Sam wasn’t going to be happy, but the alternative was unacceptable to Dean and who Dean is. 

Of course…I could be way off base.

I feel like this is the last big hurdle for the brothers and if they can jump it, they will settle into a good place. Carver has said that he wants the brothers to react like the mature men that they are. That they’re not 22 and 26 anymore. That they have grown and matured and that has to be reflected in their relationship.

He brought them to a place where they admitted to having different views on their futures. Allowing one to want something different from the other is not a bad thing. It’s interesting. It doesn’t mean they want to be apart. It means they’re different. They’re different men and having different needs is important to creating their own individual stories with each other. We shouldn’t be scared of that.

He brought them to a place where they committed to one another. They chose each other over everything else that’s ever been important to them and in doing so, they opened up and told each other how they both feel in a way they’d never done before.

If Carver can have them finally talk out the bigger issues... Of how Sam feels Dean treats/sees him and find a way to have Dean change enough to allow Sam to be the grown man he is and make life choices for himself that might not always be in Dean’s best interest, (emotionally speaking) and find a way to allow Sam to accept who Dean is at his core, that Dean will always fight for Sam no matter what and that his brother really, truly loves and believes in him and that maybe some of the self doubt is coming from within rather than without. Perception. Right now neither fully accepts who the other is, or maybe wants to be. If we can ever get them to that point…oh man. Can you imagine? Rainbows and Unicorns and Winchesters, oh my! Confetti, it’s a parade! As a friend said to me the other day, I'm writing fan fiction again aren't I.

I’m hoping this where we’re heading (not the rainbows and unicorns bit...though...). As much as the ending to “Road Trip” hurt, it felt like it could be the beginning of a something that may get the brothers to where we all want them to be. On the same page. Fighting side by side. Respecting each other. Caring for each other. Being Sam and Dean.

It’s okay, you can snicker at me. I will always see this show with hope in my heart, because that’s what the Winchesters always manage to give me. Hope. No matter what.

Look at how gorgeous this scene was. Kudos to Bob Singer and Serge LaDouceur for their wonderful work.

“Road Trip”; it was ouchy, but in the very best way. I'm busting to see where we go next and praying to any deity we’ve ever met that our gorgeous Winchester boys have a bloody good talk and start to try to understand each other…both of them. I need them reunited. Stat!

One good thing though… Sam went home. Sam. Went. Home.

*tiny voice* Sam went home. 


Sorry this was so late. I’ll try better next week!
-sweetondean


Postscript: Just looking back at my screencaps...sad and self tortured Dean is a thing of beauty. GAH.

Sorry...as you were.